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Twelfth Night
Act 1, scene 3

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Characters in the Play

Entire Play

Twelfth Night—an allusion to the night of festivity preceding the Christian celebration of the Epiphany—combines love, confusion, mistaken identities, and…

Act 1, scene 1

At his court, Orsino, sick with love for the Lady Olivia, learns from his messenger that she is grieving for…

Act 1, scene 2

On the Adriatic seacoast, Viola, who has been saved from a shipwreck in which her brother may have drowned, hears…

Act 1, scene 3

At the estate of Lady Olivia, Sir Toby Belch, Olivia’s kinsman, has brought in Sir Andrew Aguecheek to be her…

Act 1, scene 4

At Orsino’s court, Viola, disguised as a page and calling herself Cesario, has gained the trust of Orsino, who decides…

Act 1, scene 5

Viola, in her disguise as Cesario, appears at Olivia’s estate. Olivia allows Cesario to speak with her privately about Orsino’s…

Act 2, scene 1

A young gentleman named Sebastian, who has recently been saved from a shipwreck in which his sister has been lost,…

Act 2, scene 2

Malvolio finds the disguised Viola and “returns” the ring. Viola, alone, realizes that Olivia has fallen in love with Cesario…

Act 2, scene 3

At Olivia’s estate, Toby, Andrew, and the Fool hold a late night party. Maria comes in to quiet them, followed…

Act 2, scene 4

Orsino asks for a song to relieve his love-longing. In conversation about the capacities for love in men and in…

Act 2, scene 5

Maria lays her trap for Malvolio by placing her forged letter in his path. From their hiding place, Toby, Andrew,…

Act 3, scene 1

Viola (as Cesario), on her way to see Olivia, encounters first the Fool and then Sir Toby and Sir Andrew….

Act 3, scene 2

Sir Andrew, convinced that Olivia will never love him, threatens to leave. Sir Toby persuades him that he can win…

Act 3, scene 3

Antonio, having followed Sebastian, explains the incident in his past that keeps him from safely venturing into the streets of…

Act 3, scene 4

Malvolio, dressed ridiculously and smiling grotesquely, appears before an astonished Olivia. Thinking him insane, she puts him in the care…

Act 4, scene 1

The Fool encounters Sebastian, whom he mistakes for Cesario. When Sir Andrew and Sir Toby attack Sebastian, the Fool fetches…

Act 4, scene 2

Under directions from Sir Toby, the Fool disguises himself as a parish priest and visits the imprisoned Malvolio. In his…

Act 4, scene 3

While Sebastian is sure that neither he nor Olivia is insane, he is amazed by the wonder of his new…

Act 5, scene 1

Orsino, at Olivia’s estate, sends the Fool to bring Olivia to him. Antonio is brought in by officers and he…

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Scene 3
Enter Sir Toby and Maria.

TOBY What a plague means my niece to take the death
 of her brother thus? I am sure care’s an enemy to
 life.
MARIA By my troth, Sir Toby, you must come in earlier
5 o’ nights. Your cousin, my lady, takes great exceptions
 to your ill hours.
TOBY Why, let her except before excepted!
MARIA Ay, but you must confine yourself within the
 modest limits of order.
TOBY 10Confine? I’ll confine myself no finer than I am.
 These clothes are good enough to drink in, and so
 be these boots too. An they be not, let them hang
 themselves in their own straps!
MARIA That quaffing and drinking will undo you. I
15 heard my lady talk of it yesterday, and of a foolish
 knight that you brought in one night here to be her
 wooer.
TOBY Who, Sir Andrew Aguecheek?
MARIA Ay, he.
TOBY 20He’s as tall a man as any ’s in Illyria.
MARIA What’s that to th’ purpose?
TOBY Why, he has three thousand ducats a year!
MARIA Ay, but he’ll have but a year in all these ducats.
 He’s a very fool and a prodigal.
TOBY 25Fie that you’ll say so! He plays o’ th’ viol-de-gamboys
 and speaks three or four languages word
 for word without book, and hath all the good gifts of
 nature.

17
Twelfth Night
ACT 1. SC. 3

MARIA He hath indeed, almost natural, for, besides
30 that he’s a fool, he’s a great quarreler, and, but that
 he hath the gift of a coward to allay the gust he hath
 in quarreling, ’tis thought among the prudent he
 would quickly have the gift of a grave.
TOBY By this hand, they are scoundrels and substractors
35 that say so of him. Who are they?
MARIA They that add, moreover, he’s drunk nightly in
 your company.
TOBY With drinking healths to my niece. I’ll drink to
 her as long as there is a passage in my throat and
40 drink in Illyria. He’s a coward and a coistrel that
 will not drink to my niece till his brains turn o’ th’
 toe like a parish top. What, wench! Castiliano vulgo,
 for here comes Sir Andrew Agueface.

Enter Sir Andrew.

ANDREW Sir Toby Belch! How now, Sir Toby Belch?
TOBY 45Sweet Sir Andrew!
ANDREW, to Maria Bless you, fair shrew.
MARIA And you too, sir.
TOBY Accost, Sir Andrew, accost!
ANDREW What’s that?
TOBY 50My niece’s chambermaid.
ANDREW Good Mistress Accost, I desire better
 acquaintance.
MARIA My name is Mary, sir.
ANDREW Good Mistress Mary Accost—
TOBY 55You mistake, knight. “Accost” is front her, board
 her, woo her, assail her.
ANDREW By my troth, I would not undertake her in
 this company. Is that the meaning of “accost”?
MARIA Fare you well, gentlemen.She begins to exit.
TOBY 60An thou let part so, Sir Andrew, would thou
 mightst never draw sword again.
ANDREW An you part so, mistress, I would I might

19
Twelfth Night
ACT 1. SC. 3

 never draw sword again. Fair lady, do you think you
 have fools in hand?
MARIA 65Sir, I have not you by th’ hand.
ANDREW Marry, but you shall have, and here’s my
 hand.He offers his hand.
MARIA, taking his hand Now sir, thought is free. I
 pray you, bring your hand to th’ butt’ry bar and let
70 it drink.
ANDREW Wherefore, sweetheart? What’s your
 metaphor?
MARIA It’s dry, sir.
ANDREW Why, I think so. I am not such an ass but I
75 can keep my hand dry. But what’s your jest?
MARIA A dry jest, sir.
ANDREW Are you full of them?
MARIA Ay, sir, I have them at my fingers’ ends. Marry,
 now I let go your hand, I am barren.Maria exits.
TOBY 80O knight, thou lack’st a cup of canary! When did
 I see thee so put down?
ANDREW Never in your life, I think, unless you see
 canary put me down. Methinks sometimes I have
 no more wit than a Christian or an ordinary man
85 has. But I am a great eater of beef, and I believe that
 does harm to my wit.
TOBY No question.
ANDREW An I thought that, I’d forswear it. I’ll ride
 home tomorrow, Sir Toby.
TOBY 90Pourquoi, my dear knight?
ANDREW What is “pourquoi”? Do, or not do? I would I
 had bestowed that time in the tongues that I have in
 fencing, dancing, and bearbaiting. O, had I but
 followed the arts!
TOBY 95Then hadst thou had an excellent head of hair.
ANDREW Why, would that have mended my hair?
TOBY Past question, for thou seest it will not curl by
 nature.

21
Twelfth Night
ACT 1. SC. 3

ANDREW But it becomes me well enough, does ’t not?
TOBY 100Excellent! It hangs like flax on a distaff, and I
 hope to see a huswife take thee between her legs
 and spin it off.
ANDREW Faith, I’ll home tomorrow, Sir Toby. Your
 niece will not be seen, or if she be, it’s four to one
105 she’ll none of me. The Count himself here hard by
 woos her.
TOBY She’ll none o’ th’ Count. She’ll not match above
 her degree, neither in estate, years, nor wit. I have
 heard her swear ’t. Tut, there’s life in ’t, man.
ANDREW 110I’ll stay a month longer. I am a fellow o’ th’
 strangest mind i’ th’ world. I delight in masques
 and revels sometimes altogether.
TOBY Art thou good at these kickshawses, knight?
ANDREW As any man in Illyria, whatsoever he be,
115 under the degree of my betters, and yet I will not
 compare with an old man.
TOBY What is thy excellence in a galliard, knight?
ANDREW Faith, I can cut a caper.
TOBY And I can cut the mutton to ’t.
ANDREW 120And I think I have the back-trick simply as
 strong as any man in Illyria.
TOBY Wherefore are these things hid? Wherefore have
 these gifts a curtain before ’em? Are they like to
 take dust, like Mistress Mall’s picture? Why dost
125 thou not go to church in a galliard and come home
 in a coranto? My very walk should be a jig. I would
 not so much as make water but in a sink-a-pace.
 What dost thou mean? Is it a world to hide virtues
 in? I did think, by the excellent constitution of thy
130 leg, it was formed under the star of a galliard.
ANDREW Ay, ’tis strong, and it does indifferent well in a
 dun-colored stock. Shall we set about some
 revels?

23
Twelfth Night
ACT 1. SC. 4

TOBY What shall we do else? Were we not born under
135 Taurus?
ANDREW Taurus? That’s sides and heart.
TOBY No, sir, it is legs and thighs. Let me see thee
 caper. Sir Andrew dances. Ha, higher! Ha, ha,
 excellent!
They exit.