⌜Music.⌝ Enter divers Friends at several doors.FIRST FRIEND The good time of day to you, sir.SECOND FRIEND I also wish it to you. I think this honorable lord did but try us this other day.FIRST FRIEND Upon that were my thoughts tiring when5 we encountered. I hope it is not so low with him as he made it seem in the trial of his several friends.SECOND FRIEND It should not be, by the persuasion of his new feasting.FIRST FRIEND I should think so. He hath sent me an10 earnest inviting, which many my near occasions did urge me to put off; but he hath conjured me beyond them, and I must needs appear.SECOND FRIEND In like manner was I in debt to my importunate business, but he would not hear my15 excuse. I am sorry, when he sent to borrow of me, that my provision was out.FIRST FRIEND I am sick of that grief too, as I understand how all things go.SECOND FRIEND Every man here’s so. What would he20 have borrowed of you?FIRST FRIEND A thousand pieces.SECOND FRIEND A thousand pieces!FIRST FRIEND What of you?SECOND FRIEND He sent to me, sir—Enter Timon and Attendants.25 Here he comes.TIMON With all my heart, gentlemen both! And how fare you?FIRST FRIEND Ever at the best, hearing well of your Lordship.SECOND FRIEND 30The swallow follows not summer more willing than we your Lordship.
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TIMON, ⌜aside⌝ Nor more willingly leaves winter, such summer birds are men.—Gentlemen, our dinner will not recompense this long stay. Feast your ears35 with the music awhile, if they will fare so harshly o’ th’ trumpets’ sound. We shall to ’t presently.FIRST FRIEND I hope it remains not unkindly with your Lordship that I returned you an empty messenger.TIMON O, sir, let it not trouble you.SECOND FRIEND 40My noble lord—TIMON Ah, my good friend, what cheer?SECOND FRIEND My most honorable lord, I am e’en sick of shame that when your Lordship this other day sent to me, I was so unfortunate a beggar.TIMON 45Think not on ’t, sir.SECOND FRIEND If you had sent but two hours before—TIMON Let it not cumber your better remembrance.The banquet brought in. Come, bring in all together.SECOND FRIEND All covered dishes!FIRST FRIEND 50Royal cheer, I warrant you.THIRD FRIEND Doubt not that, if money and the season can yield it.FIRST FRIEND How do you? What’s the news?THIRD FRIEND Alcibiades is banished. Hear you of it?FIRST AND SECOND FRIENDS 55Alcibiades banished?THIRD FRIEND ’Tis so. Be sure of it.FIRST FRIEND How? How?SECOND FRIEND I pray you, upon what?TIMON My worthy friends, will you draw near?THIRD FRIEND 60I’ll tell you more anon. Here’s a noble feast toward.SECOND FRIEND This is the old man still.THIRD FRIEND Will ’t hold? Will ’t hold?SECOND FRIEND It does, but time will—and so—THIRD FRIEND 65I do conceive.
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TIMON Each man to his stool, with that spur as he would to the lip of his mistress. Your diet shall be in all places alike. Make not a city feast of it, to let the meat cool ere we can agree upon the first place.70 Sit, sit. (⌜They sit.⌝) The gods require our thanks: You great benefactors, sprinkle our society with thankfulness. For your own gifts make yourselves praised, but reserve still to give, lest your deities be despised. Lend to each man enough, that one need75 not lend to another; for, were your godheads to borrow of men, men would forsake the gods. Make the meat be beloved more than the man that gives it. Let no assembly of twenty be without a score of villains. If there sit twelve women at the table, let a80 dozen of them be as they are. The rest of your fees, O gods, the Senators of Athens, together with the common ⌜tag⌝ of people, what is amiss in them, you gods, make suitable for destruction. For these my present friends, as they are to me nothing, so85 in nothing bless them, and to nothing are they welcome. Uncover, dogs, and lap.⌜The dishes are uncovered. They contain
only water and stones.⌝SOME SPEAK What does his Lordship mean?SOME OTHER I know not.TIMON 90 May you a better feast never behold, You knot of mouth-friends! Smoke and lukewarm water Is your perfection. This is Timon’s last, Who, stuck and spangled ⌜with your⌝ flatteries,95 Washes it off and sprinkles in your faces Your reeking villainy. (⌜He throws water in their
faces.⌝) Live loathed and long,
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Most smiling, smooth, detested parasites, Courteous destroyers, affable wolves, meek bears,100 You fools of fortune, trencher-friends, time’s flies, Cap-and-knee slaves, vapors, and minute-jacks. Of man and beast the infinite malady Crust you quite o’er! (⌜They stand.⌝) What, dost thou go?105 Soft! Take thy physic first—thou too—and thou.— Stay. I will lend thee money, borrow none.⌜He attacks them and forces them out.⌝ What? All in motion? Henceforth be no feast Whereat a villain’s not a welcome guest. Burn, house! Sink, Athens! Henceforth hated be110 Of Timon man and all humanity!⌜He exits.⌝Enter ⌜Timon’s Friends,⌝ the Senators, with other Lords.FIRST FRIEND How now, my lords?SECOND FRIEND Know you the quality of Lord Timon’s fury?THIRD FRIEND Push! Did you see my cap?FOURTH FRIEND 115I have lost my gown.FIRST FRIEND He’s but a mad lord, and naught but humors sways him. He gave me a jewel th’ other day, and now he has beat it out of my hat. Did you see my jewel?SECOND FRIEND 120Did you see my cap?THIRD FRIEND Here ’tis.FOURTH FRIEND Here lies my gown.FIRST FRIEND Let’s make no stay.SECOND FRIEND Lord Timon’s mad.THIRD FRIEND 125 I feel ’t upon my bones.FOURTH FRIEND One day he gives us diamonds, next day stones.The Senators ⌜and the others⌝ exit.