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The Tempest
Act 3, scene 2

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Scene 2
Enter Caliban, Stephano, and Trinculo.

STEPHANO, to Trinculo Tell not me. When the butt is
 out, we will drink water; not a drop before. Therefore
 bear up and board ’em.—Servant monster,
 drink to me.
TRINCULO 5Servant monster? The folly of this island!
 They say there’s but five upon this isle; we are three
 of them. If th’ other two be brained like us, the state
 totters.
STEPHANO Drink, servant monster, when I bid thee.
10 Thy eyes are almost set in thy head.
Caliban drinks.
TRINCULO Where should they be set else? He were a
 brave monster indeed if they were set in his tail.
STEPHANO My man-monster hath drowned his tongue
 in sack. For my part, the sea cannot drown me. I
15 swam, ere I could recover the shore, five-and-thirty
 leagues off and on, by this light.—Thou shalt be my
 lieutenant, monster, or my standard.
TRINCULO Your lieutenant, if you list. He’s no
 standard.
STEPHANO 20We’ll not run, Monsieur Monster.
TRINCULO Nor go neither. But you’ll lie like dogs, and
 yet say nothing neither.
STEPHANO Mooncalf, speak once in thy life, if thou
 be’st a good mooncalf.
CALIBAN 25How does thy Honor? Let me lick thy shoe. I’ll
 not serve him; he is not valiant.
TRINCULO Thou liest, most ignorant monster. I am in
 case to justle a constable. Why, thou debauched
 fish, thou! Was there ever man a coward that hath
30 drunk so much sack as I today? Wilt thou tell a
 monstrous lie, being but half a fish and half a
 monster?

101
The Tempest
ACT 3. SC. 2

CALIBAN Lo, how he mocks me! Wilt thou let him, my
 lord?
TRINCULO 35“Lord,” quoth he? That a monster should be
 such a natural!
CALIBAN Lo, lo again! Bite him to death, I prithee.
STEPHANO Trinculo, keep a good tongue in your head.
 If you prove a mutineer, the next tree. The poor
40 monster’s my subject, and he shall not suffer
 indignity.
CALIBAN I thank my noble lord. Wilt thou be pleased
 to harken once again to the suit I made to thee?
STEPHANO Marry, will I. Kneel and repeat it. I will
45 stand, and so shall Trinculo.

Enter Ariel, invisible.

CALIBAN, kneeling As I told thee before, I am subject
 to a tyrant, a sorcerer, that by his cunning hath
 cheated me of the island.
ARIEL, in Trinculo’s voice Thou liest.
CALIBAN, to Trinculo 50Thou liest, thou jesting monkey,
 thou. He stands. I would my valiant master would
 destroy thee. I do not lie.
STEPHANO Trinculo, if you trouble him any more in ’s
 tale, by this hand, I will supplant some of your
55 teeth.
TRINCULO Why, I said nothing.
STEPHANO Mum then, and no more. Trinculo stands
 aside. 
Proceed.
CALIBAN 
 I say by sorcery he got this isle;
60 From me he got it. If thy Greatness will,
 Revenge it on him, for I know thou dar’st,
 But this thing dare not.
STEPHANO That’s most certain.
CALIBAN 
 Thou shalt be lord of it, and I’ll serve thee.

103
The Tempest
ACT 3. SC. 2

STEPHANO 65How now shall this be compassed? Canst
 thou bring me to the party?
CALIBAN 
 Yea, yea, my lord. I’ll yield him thee asleep,
 Where thou mayst knock a nail into his head.
ARIEL, in Trinculo’s voice Thou liest. Thou canst not.
CALIBAN 
70 What a pied ninny’s this!—Thou scurvy patch!—
 I do beseech thy Greatness, give him blows
 And take his bottle from him. When that’s gone,
 He shall drink naught but brine, for I’ll not show him
 Where the quick freshes are.
STEPHANO 75Trinculo, run into no further danger. Interrupt
 the monster one word further, and by this
 hand, I’ll turn my mercy out o’ doors and make a
 stockfish of thee.
TRINCULO Why, what did I? I did nothing. I’ll go
80 farther off.
STEPHANO Didst thou not say he lied?
ARIEL, in Trinculo’s voice Thou liest.
STEPHANO Do I so? Take thou that.He beats Trinculo.
 As you like this, give me the lie another time.
TRINCULO 85I did not give the lie! Out o’ your wits and
 hearing too? A pox o’ your bottle! This can sack and
 drinking do. A murrain on your monster, and the
 devil take your fingers!
CALIBAN Ha, ha, ha!
STEPHANO 90Now forward with your tale. To Trinculo.
 Prithee, stand further off.
CALIBAN 
 Beat him enough. After a little time
 I’ll beat him too.
STEPHANO Stand farther. Trinculo moves farther
 away. 
95Come, proceed.
CALIBAN 
 Why, as I told thee, ’tis a custom with him

105
The Tempest
ACT 3. SC. 2

 I’ th’ afternoon to sleep. There thou mayst brain him,
 Having first seized his books, or with a log
 Batter his skull, or paunch him with a stake,
100 Or cut his weasand with thy knife. Remember
 First to possess his books, for without them
 He’s but a sot, as I am, nor hath not
 One spirit to command. They all do hate him
 As rootedly as I. Burn but his books.
105 He has brave utensils—for so he calls them—
 Which, when he has a house, he’ll deck withal.
 And that most deeply to consider is
 The beauty of his daughter. He himself
 Calls her a nonpareil. I never saw a woman
110 But only Sycorax my dam and she;
 But she as far surpasseth Sycorax
 As great’st does least.
STEPHANO  Is it so brave a lass?
CALIBAN 
 Ay, lord, she will become thy bed, I warrant,
115 And bring thee forth brave brood.
STEPHANO Monster, I will kill this man. His daughter
 and I will be king and queen—save our Graces!—
 and Trinculo and thyself shall be viceroys.—Dost
 thou like the plot, Trinculo?
TRINCULO 120Excellent.
STEPHANO Give me thy hand. I am sorry I beat thee.
 But while thou liv’st, keep a good tongue in thy
 head.
CALIBAN 
 Within this half hour will he be asleep.
125 Wilt thou destroy him then?
STEPHANO  Ay, on mine honor.
ARIEL, aside This will I tell my master.
CALIBAN 
 Thou mak’st me merry. I am full of pleasure.

107
The Tempest
ACT 3. SC. 2

 Let us be jocund. Will you troll the catch
130 You taught me but whilere?
STEPHANO At thy request, monster, I will do reason,
 any reason.—Come on, Trinculo, let us sing.
Sings.
 Flout ’em and cout ’em
 And scout ’em and flout ’em!
135  Thought is free.

CALIBAN That’s not the tune.
Ariel plays the tune on a tabor and pipe.
STEPHANO What is this same?
TRINCULO This is the tune of our catch played by the
 picture of Nobody.
STEPHANO, to the invisible musician 140If thou be’st a
 man, show thyself in thy likeness. If thou be’st a
 devil, take ’t as thou list.
TRINCULO O, forgive me my sins!
STEPHANO He that dies pays all debts.—I defy thee!—
145 Mercy upon us!
CALIBAN Art thou afeard?
STEPHANO No, monster, not I.
CALIBAN 
 Be not afeard. The isle is full of noises,
 Sounds and sweet airs that give delight and hurt not.
150 Sometimes a thousand twangling instruments
 Will hum about mine ears, and sometimes voices
 That, if I then had waked after long sleep,
 Will make me sleep again; and then, in dreaming,
 The clouds methought would open, and show riches
155 Ready to drop upon me, that when I waked
 I cried to dream again.
STEPHANO This will prove a brave kingdom to me,
 where I shall have my music for nothing.
CALIBAN When Prospero is destroyed.
STEPHANO 160That shall be by and by. I remember the
 story.

109
The Tempest
ACT 3. SC. 3

TRINCULO The sound is going away. Let’s follow it, and
 after do our work.
STEPHANO Lead, monster. We’ll follow.—I would I
165 could see this taborer. He lays it on. Wilt come?
TRINCULO I’ll follow, Stephano.
They exit.