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The Tempest
Act 2, scene 2

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Scene 2
Enter Caliban with a burden of wood. A noise of
thunder heard.


CALIBAN 
 All the infections that the sun sucks up
 From bogs, fens, flats, on Prosper fall and make him
 By inchmeal a disease! His spirits hear me,
 And yet I needs must curse. But they’ll nor pinch,
5 Fright me with urchin-shows, pitch me i’ th’ mire,
 Nor lead me like a firebrand in the dark
 Out of my way, unless he bid ’em. But
 For every trifle are they set upon me,
 Sometimes like apes, that mow and chatter at me
10 And after bite me; then like hedgehogs, which
 Lie tumbling in my barefoot way and mount
 Their pricks at my footfall. Sometime am I
 All wound with adders, who with cloven tongues
 Do hiss me into madness. Lo, now, lo!
15 Here comes a spirit of his, and to torment me
 For bringing wood in slowly. I’ll fall flat.
 Perchance he will not mind me.
He lies down and covers himself with a cloak.

Enter Trinculo.

TRINCULO Here’s neither bush nor shrub to bear off
 any weather at all. And another storm brewing; I
20 hear it sing i’ th’ wind. Yond same black cloud, yond
 huge one, looks like a foul bombard that would shed
 his liquor. If it should thunder as it did before, I
 know not where to hide my head. Yond same cloud
 cannot choose but fall by pailfuls. Noticing Caliban.
25 What have we here, a man or a fish? Dead or
 alive? A fish, he smells like a fish—a very ancient
 and fishlike smell, a kind of not-of-the-newest poor-John.
 A strange fish. Were I in England now, as once

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ACT 2. SC. 2

 I was, and had but this fish painted, not a holiday
30 fool there but would give a piece of silver. There
 would this monster make a man. Any strange beast
 there makes a man. When they will not give a doit to
 relieve a lame beggar, they will lay out ten to see a
 dead Indian. Legged like a man, and his fins like
35 arms! Warm, o’ my troth! I do now let loose my
 opinion, hold it no longer: this is no fish, but an
 islander that hath lately suffered by a thunderbolt.
 Thunder. Alas, the storm is come again. My best
 way is to creep under his gaberdine. There is no
40 other shelter hereabout. Misery acquaints a man
 with strange bedfellows. I will here shroud till the
 dregs of the storm be past.
He crawls under Caliban’s cloak.

Enter Stephano singing.

STEPHANO 
 I shall no more to sea, to sea.
 Here shall I die ashore—

45 This is a very scurvy tune to sing at a man’s funeral.
 Well, here’s my comfort.Drinks.
Sings.
 The master, the swabber, the boatswain, and I,
  The gunner and his mate,
 Loved Mall, Meg, and Marian, and Margery,
50  But none of us cared for Kate.
  For she had a tongue with a tang,
  Would cry to a sailor “Go hang!”
 She loved not the savor of tar nor of pitch,
 Yet a tailor might scratch her where’er she did itch.
55  Then to sea, boys, and let her go hang!

 This is a scurvy tune too. But here’s my comfort.
Drinks.
CALIBAN Do not torment me! O!

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ACT 2. SC. 2

STEPHANO What’s the matter? Have we devils here? Do
 you put tricks upon ’s with savages and men of Ind?
60 Ha? I have not scaped drowning to be afeard now
 of your four legs, for it hath been said “As proper a
 man as ever went on four legs cannot make him
 give ground,” and it shall be said so again while
 Stephano breathes at’ nostrils.
CALIBAN 65The spirit torments me. O!
STEPHANO This is some monster of the isle with four
 legs, who hath got, as I take it, an ague. Where the
 devil should he learn our language? I will give him
 some relief, if it be but for that. If I can recover him
70 and keep him tame and get to Naples with him,
 he’s a present for any emperor that ever trod on
 neat’s leather.
CALIBAN Do not torment me, prithee. I’ll bring my
 wood home faster.
STEPHANO 75He’s in his fit now, and does not talk after
 the wisest. He shall taste of my bottle. If he have
 never drunk wine afore, it will go near to remove
 his fit. If I can recover him and keep him tame, I will
 not take too much for him. He shall pay for him that
80 hath him, and that soundly.
CALIBAN Thou dost me yet but little hurt. Thou wilt
 anon; I know it by thy trembling. Now Prosper
 works upon thee.
STEPHANO Come on your ways. Open your mouth.
85 Here is that which will give language to you, cat.
 Open your mouth. This will shake your shaking, I
 can tell you, and that soundly. Caliban drinks. You
 cannot tell who’s your friend. Open your chaps
 again.
TRINCULO 90I should know that voice. It should be—but
 he is drowned, and these are devils. O, defend me!
STEPHANO Four legs and two voices—a most delicate
 monster! His forward voice now is to speak well of
 his friend. His backward voice is to utter foul

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ACT 2. SC. 2

95 speeches and to detract. If all the wine in my bottle
 will recover him, I will help his ague. Come.
 Caliban drinks. Amen! I will pour some in thy
 other mouth.
TRINCULO Stephano!
STEPHANO 100Doth thy other mouth call me? Mercy, mercy,
 this is a devil, and no monster! I will leave him; I
 have no long spoon.
TRINCULO Stephano! If thou be’st Stephano, touch me
 and speak to me, for I am Trinculo—be not
105 afeard—thy good friend Trinculo.
STEPHANO If thou be’st Trinculo, come forth. I’ll pull
 thee by the lesser legs. If any be Trinculo’s legs,
 these are they. He pulls him out from under Caliban’s
 cloak. 
Thou art very Trinculo indeed. How
110 cam’st thou to be the siege of this mooncalf? Can
 he vent Trinculos?
TRINCULO I took him to be killed with a thunderstroke.
 But art thou not drowned, Stephano? I
 hope now thou art not drowned. Is the storm
115 overblown? I hid me under the dead mooncalf’s
 gaberdine for fear of the storm. And art thou living,
 Stephano? O Stephano, two Neapolitans scaped!
STEPHANO Prithee, do not turn me about. My stomach
 is not constant.
CALIBAN, aside 120These be fine things, an if they be not
 sprites. That’s a brave god and bears celestial liquor.
 I will kneel to him.
He crawls out from under the cloak.
STEPHANO, to Trinculo How didst thou scape? How
 cam’st thou hither? Swear by this bottle how thou
125 cam’st hither—I escaped upon a butt of sack, which
 the sailors heaved o’erboard—by this bottle, which
 I made of the bark of a tree with mine own hands,
 since I was cast ashore.

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CALIBAN I’ll swear upon that bottle to be thy true
130 subject, for the liquor is not earthly.
STEPHANO, to Trinculo Here. Swear then how thou
 escapedst.
TRINCULO Swum ashore, man, like a duck. I can swim
 like a duck, I’ll be sworn.
STEPHANO 135Here, kiss the book.Trinculo drinks.
 Though thou canst swim like a duck, thou art made
 like a goose.
TRINCULO O Stephano, hast any more of this?
STEPHANO The whole butt, man. My cellar is in a rock
140 by th’ seaside, where my wine is hid.—How now,
 mooncalf, how does thine ague?
CALIBAN Hast thou not dropped from heaven?
STEPHANO Out o’ th’ moon, I do assure thee. I was the
 man i’ th’ moon when time was.
CALIBAN 145I have seen thee in her, and I do adore thee.
 My mistress showed me thee, and thy dog, and thy
 bush.
STEPHANO Come, swear to that. Kiss the book. I will
 furnish it anon with new contents. Swear.
Caliban drinks.
TRINCULO 150By this good light, this is a very shallow
 monster. I afeard of him? A very weak monster. The
 man i’ th’ moon? A most poor, credulous monster!
 —Well drawn, monster, in good sooth!
CALIBAN I’ll show thee every fertile inch o’ th’ island,
155 and I will kiss thy foot. I prithee, be my god.
TRINCULO By this light, a most perfidious and drunken
 monster. When ’s god’s asleep, he’ll rob his bottle.
CALIBAN I’ll kiss thy foot. I’ll swear myself thy subject.
STEPHANO Come on, then. Down, and swear.
Caliban kneels.
TRINCULO 160I shall laugh myself to death at this puppy-headed
 monster. A most scurvy monster. I could
 find in my heart to beat him—

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ACT 2. SC. 2

STEPHANO Come, kiss.
TRINCULO —but that the poor monster’s in drink. An
165 abominable monster.
CALIBAN 
 I’ll show thee the best springs. I’ll pluck thee berries.
 I’ll fish for thee and get thee wood enough.
 A plague upon the tyrant that I serve.
 I’ll bear him no more sticks, but follow thee,
170 Thou wondrous man.
TRINCULO A most ridiculous monster, to make a wonder
 of a poor drunkard.
CALIBAN, standing 
 I prithee, let me bring thee where crabs grow,
 And I with my long nails will dig thee pignuts,
175 Show thee a jay’s nest, and instruct thee how
 To snare the nimble marmoset. I’ll bring thee
 To clustering filberts, and sometimes I’ll get thee
 Young scamels from the rock. Wilt thou go with me?
STEPHANO I prithee now, lead the way without any
180 more talking.—Trinculo, the King and all our
 company else being drowned, we will inherit here.
 —Here, bear my bottle.—Fellow Trinculo, we’ll
 fill him by and by again.
CALIBAN sings drunkenly 
 Farewell, master, farewell, farewell.

TRINCULO 185A howling monster, a drunken monster.
CALIBAN sings 
 No more dams I’ll make for fish,
  Nor fetch in firing
  At requiring,
 Nor scrape trenchering, nor wash dish.
190  ’Ban, ’ban, Ca-caliban
  Has a new master. Get a new man.

 Freedom, high-day! High-day, freedom! Freedom,
 high-day, freedom!
STEPHANO O brave monster! Lead the way.
They exit.