Enter Katherine and Grumio.GRUMIO No, no, forsooth, I dare not for my life.KATHERINE The more my wrong, the more his spite appears. What, did he marry me to famish me? Beggars that come unto my father’s door5 Upon entreaty have a present alms. If not, elsewhere they meet with charity. But I, who never knew how to entreat, Nor never needed that I should entreat, Am starved for meat, giddy for lack of sleep,10 With oaths kept waking and with brawling fed. And that which spites me more than all these wants, He does it under name of perfect love, As who should say, if I should sleep or eat ’Twere deadly sickness or else present death.15 I prithee, go, and get me some repast, I care not what, so it be wholesome food.GRUMIO What say you to a neat’s foot?
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KATHERINE ’Tis passing good. I prithee let me have it.GRUMIO I fear it is too choleric a meat.20 How say you to a fat tripe finely broiled?KATHERINE I like it well. Good Grumio, fetch it me.GRUMIO I cannot tell. I fear ’tis choleric. What say you to a piece of beef and mustard?KATHERINE A dish that I do love to feed upon.GRUMIO 25 Ay, but the mustard is too hot a little.KATHERINE Why then, the beef, and let the mustard rest.GRUMIO Nay then, I will not. You shall have the mustard Or else you get no beef of Grumio.KATHERINE Then both, or one, or any thing thou wilt.GRUMIO 30 Why then, the mustard without the beef.KATHERINE Go, get thee gone, thou false deluding slave,⌜She⌝ beats him. That feed’st me with the very name of meat. Sorrow on thee, and all the pack of you That triumph thus upon my misery.35 Go, get thee gone, I say.Enter Petruchio and Hortensio with meat.PETRUCHIO How fares my Kate? What, sweeting, all amort?HORTENSIO Mistress, what cheer?KATHERINE Faith, as cold as can be.
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PETRUCHIO Pluck up thy spirits. Look cheerfully upon me.40 Here, love, thou seest how diligent I am, To dress thy meat myself and bring it thee. I am sure, sweet Kate, this kindness merits thanks. What, not a word? Nay then, thou lov’st it not, And all my pains is sorted to no proof.45 Here, take away this dish.KATHERINE I pray you, let it stand.PETRUCHIO The poorest service is repaid with thanks, And so shall mine before you touch the meat.KATHERINE I thank you, sir.HORTENSIO 50 Signior Petruchio, fie, you are to blame. Come, Mistress Kate, I’ll bear you company.PETRUCHIO, ⌜aside to Hortensio⌝ Eat it up all, Hortensio, if thou lovest me.— Much good do it unto thy gentle heart. Kate, eat apace.⌜Katherine and Hortensio prepare to eat.⌝55 And now, my honey love, Will we return unto thy father’s house And revel it as bravely as the best, With silken coats and caps and golden rings, With ruffs and cuffs and farthingales and things,60 With scarves and fans and double change of brav’ry, With amber bracelets, beads, and all this knav’ry. What, hast thou dined? The tailor stays thy leisure To deck thy body with his ruffling treasure.Enter Tailor. Come, tailor, let us see these ornaments.65 Lay forth the gown.Enter Haberdasher. What news with you, sir?
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⌜HABERDASHER⌝ Here is the cap your Worship did bespeak.PETRUCHIO Why, this was molded on a porringer! A velvet dish! Fie, fie, ’tis lewd and filthy.70 Why, ’tis a cockle or a walnut shell, A knack, a toy, a trick, a baby’s cap. Away with it! Come, let me have a bigger.KATHERINE I’ll have no bigger. This doth fit the time, And gentlewomen wear such caps as these.PETRUCHIO 75 When you are gentle, you shall have one too, And not till then.HORTENSIO, ⌜aside⌝ That will not be in haste.KATHERINE Why, sir, I trust I may have leave to speak, And speak I will. I am no child, no babe.80 Your betters have endured me say my mind, And if you cannot, best you stop your ears. My tongue will tell the anger of my heart, Or else my heart, concealing it, will break, And, rather than it shall, I will be free85 Even to the uttermost, as I please, in words.PETRUCHIO Why, thou sayst true. It is ⌜a⌝ paltry cap, A custard-coffin, a bauble, a silken pie. I love thee well in that thou lik’st it not.KATHERINE Love me, or love me not, I like the cap,90 And it I will have, or I will have none.⌜Exit Haberdasher.⌝PETRUCHIO Thy gown? Why, ay. Come, tailor, let us see ’t. O mercy God, what masking-stuff is here?
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What’s this? A sleeve? ’Tis like ⌜a⌝ demi-cannon. What, up and down carved like an apple tart?95 Here’s snip and nip and cut and slish and slash, Like to a censer in a barber’s shop. Why, what a devil’s name, tailor, call’st thou this?HORTENSIO, ⌜aside⌝ I see she’s like to have neither cap nor gown.TAILOR You bid me make it orderly and well,100 According to the fashion and the time.PETRUCHIO Marry, and did. But if you be remembered, I did not bid you mar it to the time. Go, hop me over every kennel home, For you shall hop without my custom, sir.105 I’ll none of it. Hence, make your best of it.KATHERINE I never saw a better-fashioned gown, More quaint, more pleasing, nor more commendable. Belike you mean to make a puppet of me.PETRUCHIO 110 Why, true, he means to make a puppet of thee.TAILOR She says your Worship means to make a puppet of her.PETRUCHIO O monstrous arrogance! Thou liest, thou thread, thou thimble,115 Thou yard, three-quarters, half-yard, quarter, nail! Thou flea, thou nit, thou winter cricket, thou! Braved in mine own house with a skein of thread? Away, thou rag, thou quantity, thou remnant, Or I shall so be-mete thee with thy yard120 As thou shalt think on prating whilst thou liv’st. I tell thee, I, that thou hast marred her gown.
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TAILOR Your Worship is deceived. The gown is made Just as my master had direction. Grumio gave order how it should be done.GRUMIO 125I gave him no order. I gave him the stuff.TAILOR But how did you desire it should be made?GRUMIO Marry, sir, with needle and thread.TAILOR But did you not request to have it cut?GRUMIO Thou hast faced many things.TAILOR 130I have.GRUMIO Face not me. Thou hast braved many men; brave not me. I will neither be faced nor braved. I say unto thee, I bid thy master cut out the gown, but I did not bid him cut it to pieces. Ergo, thou135 liest.TAILOR Why, here is the note of the fashion to testify.⌜He shows a paper.⌝PETRUCHIO Read it.GRUMIO The note lies in ’s throat, if he say I said so.TAILOR ⌜reads⌝ “Imprimis, a loose-bodied gown—”GRUMIO 140Master, if ever I said “loose-bodied gown,” sew me in the skirts of it and beat me to death with a bottom of brown thread. I said “a gown.”PETRUCHIO Proceed.TAILOR ⌜reads⌝ “With a small-compassed cape—”GRUMIO 145I confess the cape.TAILOR ⌜reads⌝ “With a trunk sleeve—”GRUMIO I confess two sleeves.TAILOR ⌜reads⌝ “The sleeves curiously cut.”PETRUCHIO Ay, there’s the villainy.GRUMIO 150Error i’ th’ bill, sir, error i’ th’ bill! I commanded the sleeves should be cut out and sewed up again, and that I’ll prove upon thee, though thy little finger be armed in a thimble.
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TAILOR This is true that I say. An I had thee in place155 where, thou shouldst know it.GRUMIO I am for thee straight. Take thou the bill, give me thy mete-yard, and spare not me.HORTENSIO God-a-mercy, Grumio, then he shall have no odds.PETRUCHIO 160 Well, sir, in brief, the gown is not for me.GRUMIO You are i’ th’ right, sir, ’tis for my mistress.PETRUCHIO Go, take it up unto thy master’s use.GRUMIO Villain, not for thy life! Take up my mistress’ gown for thy master’s use!PETRUCHIO 165Why, sir, what’s your conceit in that?GRUMIO O, sir, the conceit is deeper than you think for. Take up my mistress’ gown to his master’s use! O, fie, fie, fie!PETRUCHIO, ⌜aside to Hortensio⌝ Hortensio, say thou wilt see the tailor paid.170 ⌜To Tailor.⌝ Go, take it hence. Begone, and say no more.HORTENSIO, ⌜aside to Tailor⌝ Tailor, I’ll pay thee for thy gown tomorrow. Take no unkindness of his hasty words. Away, I say. Commend me to thy master.Tailor exits.PETRUCHIO 175 Well, come, my Kate, we will unto your father’s, Even in these honest mean habiliments. Our purses shall be proud, our garments poor, For ’tis the mind that makes the body rich, And as the sun breaks through the darkest clouds,180 So honor peereth in the meanest habit. What, is the jay more precious than the lark Because his feathers are more beautiful? Or is the adder better than the eel
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Because his painted skin contents the eye?185 O no, good Kate. Neither art thou the worse For this poor furniture and mean array. If thou ⌜account’st⌝ it shame, lay it on me, And therefore frolic! We will hence forthwith To feast and sport us at thy father’s house.190 ⌜To Grumio.⌝ Go, call my men, and let us straight to him, And bring our horses unto Long-lane end. There will we mount, and thither walk on foot. Let’s see, I think ’tis now some seven o’clock,195 And well we may come there by dinner time.KATHERINE I dare assure you, sir, ’tis almost two, And ’twill be supper time ere you come there.PETRUCHIO It shall be seven ere I go to horse. Look what I speak, or do, or think to do,200 You are still crossing it.—Sirs, let ’t alone. I will not go today, and, ere I do, It shall be what o’clock I say it is.HORTENSIO, ⌜aside⌝ Why, so, this gallant will command the sun!⌜They exit.⌝
The Taming of the Shrew
