Enter Baptista, Gremio, Tranio ⌜as Lucentio,⌝ Katherine,
Bianca, ⌜Lucentio as Cambio,⌝ and others, Attendants.BAPTISTA, ⌜to Tranio⌝ Signior Lucentio, this is the ’pointed day
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That Katherine and Petruchio should be married, And yet we hear not of our son-in-law. What will be said? What mockery will it be,5 To want the bridegroom when the priest attends To speak the ceremonial rites of marriage? What says Lucentio to this shame of ours?KATHERINE No shame but mine. I must, forsooth, be forced To give my hand, opposed against my heart,10 Unto a mad-brain rudesby, full of spleen, Who wooed in haste and means to wed at leisure. I told you, I, he was a frantic fool, Hiding his bitter jests in blunt behavior, And, to be noted for a merry man,15 He’ll woo a thousand, ’point the day of marriage, Make friends, invite, and proclaim the banns, Yet never means to wed where he hath wooed. Now must the world point at poor Katherine And say “Lo, there is mad Petruchio’s wife,20 If it would please him come and marry her.”TRANIO, ⌜as Lucentio⌝ Patience, good Katherine, and Baptista too. Upon my life, Petruchio means but well, Whatever fortune stays him from his word. Though he be blunt, I know him passing wise;25 Though he be merry, yet withal he’s honest.KATHERINE Would Katherine had never seen him, though!She exits weeping.BAPTISTA Go, girl. I cannot blame thee now to weep, For such an injury would vex a very saint, Much more a shrew of ⌜thy⌝ impatient humor.Enter Biondello.BIONDELLO 30Master, master, news! And such ⌜old⌝ news as you never heard of!
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BAPTISTA Is it new and old too? How may that be?BIONDELLO Why, is it not news to ⌜hear⌝ of Petruchio’s coming?BAPTISTA 35Is he come?BIONDELLO Why, no, sir.BAPTISTA What then?BIONDELLO He is coming.BAPTISTA When will he be here?BIONDELLO 40 When he stands where I am, and sees you there.TRANIO, ⌜as Lucentio⌝ But say, what to thine old news?BIONDELLO Why, Petruchio is coming in a new hat and an old jerkin, a pair of old breeches thrice turned, a pair of boots that have been candle-cases, one45 buckled, another laced; an old rusty sword ta’en out of the town armory, with a broken hilt, and chapeless; with two broken points; his horse hipped, with an old mothy saddle and stirrups of no kindred, besides possessed with the glanders and50 like to mose in the chine, troubled with the lampass, infected with the fashions, full of windgalls, sped with spavins, rayed with the yellows, past cure of the fives, stark spoiled with the staggers, begnawn with the bots, ⌜swayed⌝ in the back and shoulder-shotten,55 near-legged before, and with a half-checked bit and a headstall of sheep’s leather, which, being restrained to keep him from stumbling, hath been often burst, and now repaired with knots; one girth six times pieced, and a woman’s60 crupper of velour, which hath two letters for her name fairly set down in studs, and here and there pieced with packthread.BAPTISTA Who comes with him?
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BIONDELLO Oh, sir, his lackey, for all the world caparisoned65 like the horse: with a linen stock on one leg and a kersey boot-hose on the other, gartered with a red and blue list; an old hat, and the humor of forty fancies pricked in ’t for a feather. A monster, a very monster in apparel, and not like a Christian70 footboy or a gentleman’s lackey.TRANIO, ⌜as Lucentio⌝ ’Tis some odd humor pricks him to this fashion, Yet oftentimes he goes but mean-appareled.BAPTISTA I am glad he’s come, howsoe’er he comes.BIONDELLO Why, sir, he comes not.BAPTISTA 75Didst thou not say he comes?BIONDELLO Who? That Petruchio came?BAPTISTA Ay, that Petruchio came!BIONDELLO No, sir, I say his horse comes with him on his back.BAPTISTA 80Why, that’s all one.BIONDELLO
Nay, by Saint Jamy.
I hold you a penny,
A horse and a man
Is more than one,
85 And yet not many.Enter Petruchio and Grumio.PETRUCHIO Come, where be these gallants? Who’s at home?BAPTISTA You are welcome, sir.PETRUCHIO And yet I come not well.BAPTISTA And yet you halt not.TRANIO, ⌜as Lucentio⌝ 90Not so well appareled as I wish you were.PETRUCHIO Were it better I should rush in thus—
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But where is Kate? Where is my lovely bride? How does my father? Gentles, methinks you frown.95 And wherefore gaze this goodly company As if they saw some wondrous monument, Some comet or unusual prodigy?BAPTISTA Why, sir, you know this is your wedding day. First were we sad, fearing you would not come,100 Now sadder that you come so unprovided. Fie, doff this habit, shame to your estate, An eyesore to our solemn festival.TRANIO, ⌜as Lucentio⌝ And tell us what occasion of import Hath all so long detained you from your wife105 And sent you hither so unlike yourself.PETRUCHIO Tedious it were to tell, and harsh to hear. Sufficeth I am come to keep my word, Though in some part enforcèd to digress, Which at more leisure I will so excuse110 As you shall well be satisfied with all. But where is Kate? I stay too long from her. The morning wears. ’Tis time we were at church.TRANIO, ⌜as Lucentio⌝ See not your bride in these unreverent robes. Go to my chamber, put on clothes of mine.PETRUCHIO 115 Not I, believe me. Thus I’ll visit her.BAPTISTA But thus, I trust, you will not marry her.PETRUCHIO Good sooth, even thus. Therefore, ha’ done with words. To me she’s married, not unto my clothes.120 Could I repair what she will wear in me, As I can change these poor accoutrements,
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’Twere well for Kate and better for myself. But what a fool am I to chat with you When I should bid good morrow to my bride125 And seal the title with a lovely kiss!Petruchio exits, ⌜with Grumio.⌝TRANIO, ⌜as Lucentio⌝ He hath some meaning in his mad attire. We will persuade him, be it possible, To put on better ere he go to church.BAPTISTA I’ll after him, and see the event of this.⌜All except Tranio and Lucentio⌝ exit.TRANIO 130 But, sir, ⌜to⌝ love concerneth us to add Her father’s liking, which to bring to pass, As ⌜I⌝ before imparted to your Worship, I am to get a man (whate’er he be It skills not much, we’ll fit him to our turn),135 And he shall be “Vincentio of Pisa,” And make assurance here in Padua Of greater sums than I have promisèd. So shall you quietly enjoy your hope And marry sweet Bianca with consent.LUCENTIO 140 Were it not that my fellow schoolmaster Doth watch Bianca’s steps so narrowly, ’Twere good, methinks, to steal our marriage, Which, once performed, let all the world say no, I’ll keep mine own despite of all the world.TRANIO 145 That by degrees we mean to look into, And watch our vantage in this business. We’ll overreach the graybeard, Gremio, The narrow prying father, Minola, The quaint musician, amorous Litio,150 All for my master’s sake, Lucentio.
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Enter Gremio.TRANIO, ⌜as Lucentio⌝ Signior Gremio, came you from the church?GREMIO As willingly as e’er I came from school.TRANIO, ⌜as Lucentio⌝ And is the bride and bridegroom coming home?GREMIO A bridegroom, say you? ’Tis a groom indeed,155 A grumbling groom, and that the girl shall find.TRANIO, ⌜as Lucentio⌝ Curster than she? Why, ’tis impossible.GREMIO Why, he’s a devil, a devil, a very fiend.TRANIO, ⌜as Lucentio⌝ Why, she’s a devil, a devil, the devil’s dam.GREMIO Tut, she’s a lamb, a dove, a fool to him.160 I’ll tell you, Sir Lucentio: when the priest Should ask if Katherine should be his wife, “Ay, by gog’s wouns!” quoth he, and swore so loud That, all amazed, the priest let fall the book, And as he stooped again to take it up,165 This mad-brained bridegroom took him such a cuff That down fell priest and book, and book and priest. “Now, take them up,” quoth he, “if any list.”TRANIO, ⌜as Lucentio⌝ What said the wench when he rose again?GREMIO Trembled and shook, for why he stamped and swore170 As if the vicar meant to cozen him. But after many ceremonies done, He calls for wine. “A health!” quoth he, as if He had been aboard, carousing to his mates After a storm; quaffed off the muscatel
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175 And threw the sops all in the sexton’s face, Having no other reason But that his beard grew thin and hungerly, And seemed to ask him sops as he was drinking. This done, he took the bride about the neck180 And kissed her lips with such a clamorous smack That at the parting all the church did echo. And I, seeing this, came thence for very shame, And after me I know the rout is coming. Such a mad marriage never was before!Music plays.185 Hark, hark, I hear the minstrels play.Enter Petruchio, Katherine, Bianca, Hortensio, Baptista,
⌜Grumio, and Attendants.⌝PETRUCHIO Gentlemen and friends, I thank you for your pains. I know you think to dine with me today And have prepared great store of wedding cheer, But so it is, my haste doth call me hence,190 And therefore here I mean to take my leave.BAPTISTA Is ’t possible you will away tonight?PETRUCHIO I must away today, before night come. Make it no wonder. If you knew my business, You would entreat me rather go than stay.195 And, honest company, I thank you all, That have beheld me give away myself To this most patient, sweet, and virtuous wife. Dine with my father, drink a health to me, For I must hence, and farewell to you all.TRANIO, ⌜as Lucentio⌝ 200 Let us entreat you stay till after dinner.PETRUCHIO It may not be.GREMIO Let me entreat you.PETRUCHIO It cannot be.
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KATHERINE Let me entreat you.PETRUCHIO 205 I am content.KATHERINE Are you content to stay?PETRUCHIO I am content you shall entreat me stay, But yet not stay, entreat me how you can.KATHERINE Now, if you love me, stay.PETRUCHIO 210 Grumio, my horse.GRUMIO Ay, sir, they be ready; the oats have eaten the horses.KATHERINE Nay, then, Do what thou canst, I will not go today,215 No, nor tomorrow, not till I please myself. The door is open, sir. There lies your way. You may be jogging whiles your boots are green. For me, I’ll not be gone till I please myself. ’Tis like you’ll prove a jolly surly groom,220 That take it on you at the first so roundly.PETRUCHIO O Kate, content thee. Prithee, be not angry.KATHERINE I will be angry. What hast thou to do?— Father, be quiet. He shall stay my leisure.GREMIO Ay, marry, sir, now it begins to work.KATHERINE 225 Gentlemen, forward to the bridal dinner. I see a woman may be made a fool If she had not a spirit to resist.PETRUCHIO They shall go forward, Kate, at thy command.— Obey the bride, you that attend on her.230 Go to the feast, revel and domineer, Carouse full measure to her maidenhead,
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Be mad and merry, or go hang yourselves. But for my bonny Kate, she must with me. Nay, look not big, nor stamp, nor stare, nor fret;235 I will be master of what is mine own. She is my goods, my chattels; she is my house, My household stuff, my field, my barn, My horse, my ox, my ass, my anything. And here she stands, touch her whoever dare.240 I’ll bring mine action on the proudest he That stops my way in Padua.—Grumio, Draw forth thy weapon. We are beset with thieves. Rescue thy mistress if thou be a man!— Fear not, sweet wench, they shall not touch thee,245 Kate. I’ll buckler thee against a million.Petruchio and Katherine exit, ⌜with Grumio.⌝BAPTISTA Nay, let them go. A couple of quiet ones!GREMIO Went they not quickly, I should die with laughing.TRANIO, ⌜as Lucentio⌝ Of all mad matches never was the like.LUCENTIO, ⌜as Cambio⌝ 250 Mistress, what’s your opinion of your sister?BIANCA That being mad herself, she’s madly mated.GREMIO I warrant him, Petruchio is Kated.BAPTISTA Neighbors and friends, though bride and bridegroom wants255 For to supply the places at the table, You know there wants no junkets at the feast. ⌜To Tranio.⌝ Lucentio, you shall supply the bridegroom’s place, And let Bianca take her sister’s room.
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TRANIO, ⌜as Lucentio⌝ 260 Shall sweet Bianca practice how to bride it?BAPTISTA, ⌜to Tranio⌝ She shall, Lucentio. Come, gentlemen, let’s go.They exit.
