List iconThe Merry Wives of WindsorList icon

The Merry Wives of Windsor
Act 2, scene 3

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Entire Play

In The Merry Wives of Windsor, fat, disreputable Sir John Falstaff pursues two housewives, Mistress Ford and Mistress Page, who outwit…

Act 1, scene 1

Justice Shallow and his nephew Slender accompany Sir Hugh the parson to the Pages’ home. There they meet Sir John…

Act 1, scene 2

Sir Hugh sends Slender’s servant Simple with a letter to Mistress Quickly asking her to intercede with Anne Page on…

Act 1, scene 3

Falstaff, in desperate need of funds, dismisses his servant Bardolph, who enters the employ of the Host of the Garter….

Act 1, scene 4

Delivering Sir Hugh’s letter to Mistress Quickly, Simple is discovered by her employer Dr. Caius (another of Anne’s suitors). Furious…

Act 2, scene 1

Mistress Page and Mistress Ford compare their love letters from Falstaff and plot revenge against him. Pistol and Nym tell…

Act 2, scene 2

Falstaff receives Mistress Ford’s invitation to visit; he then accepts “Brook’s” money in exchange for his promise to compromise Mistress…

Act 2, scene 3

Dr. Caius responds furiously when Sir Hugh fails to meet him for their duel. The Host calms his anger by…

Act 3, scene 1

Page, Shallow, and Slender join Sir Hugh, who is waiting to fight Dr. Caius. When the Host brings Dr. Caius…

Act 3, scene 2

Ford, knowing of Falstaff’s visit to Mistress Ford, gathers as many men as he can to go with him to…

Act 3, scene 3

Mistress Ford and Mistress Page begin their revenge against Falstaff. As Falstaff joins Mistress Ford, Mistress Page enters with news…

Act 3, scene 4

Attempting to court Anne Page, Fenton is interrupted first by his rival Slender and then by a hostile Master and…

Act 3, scene 5

Falstaff agrees once again to visit Mistress Ford and again informs “Brook” of his plans.

Act 4, scene 1

William, the young son of Master and Mistress Page, is briefly tested on his Latin by Sir Hugh.

Act 4, scene 2

Visiting Mistress Ford, Falstaff is again interrupted by Mistress Page, again with news of Ford’s threatening approach. This time the…

Act 4, scene 3

Some Germans want to hire the Host’s horses.

Act 4, scene 4

Mistress Page and Mistress Ford, having fully disclosed their dealings with Falstaff to their husbands, conspire with them to humiliate…

Act 4, scene 5

The Host learns his horses have been stolen. Mistress Quickly approaches Falstaff with another invitation, this time to meet Mistress…

Act 4, scene 6

The Host is asked to arrange for a vicar to marry Anne to Fenton that night.

Act 5, scene 1

Falstaff, having agreed to meet Mistress Page and Mistress Ford, promises success to “Brook.”

Act 5, scene 2

Slender prepares to elope with Anne Page.

Act 5, scene 3

Dr. Caius waits to elope with Anne Page. Mistress Page and Mistress Ford follow their plan to torment Falstaff.

Act 5, scene 4

Sir Hugh and the “fairies” approach.

Act 5, scene 5

Falstaff is tormented by the “fairies” and then publicly humiliated. Slender and Dr. Caius enter in turn to report that…

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Scene 3
Enter Doctor Caius and Rugby.

DOCTOR CAIUS Jack Rugby.
RUGBY Sir?
DOCTOR CAIUS Vat is the clock, Jack?
RUGBY ’Tis past the hour, sir, that Sir Hugh promised
5 to meet.
DOCTOR CAIUS By gar, he has save his soul dat he is no
 come. He has pray his Pible well dat he is no come.
 By gar, Jack Rugby, he is dead already if he be
 come.
RUGBY 10He is wise, sir. He knew your Worship would
 kill him if he came.

81
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 2. SC. 3

DOCTOR CAIUS By gar, de herring is no dead so as I vill
 kill him. Take your rapier, Jack. I vill tell you how I
 vill kill him.
RUGBY 15Alas, sir, I cannot fence.
DOCTOR CAIUS Villainy, take your rapier.
RUGBY Forbear. Here’s company.

Enter Page, Shallow, Slender, and Host.

HOST God bless thee, bully doctor!
SHALLOW God save you, Master Doctor Caius!
PAGE 20Now, good Master Doctor!
SLENDER Give you good morrow, sir.
DOCTOR CAIUS Vat be all you, one, two, tree, four, come
 for?
HOST To see thee fight, to see thee foin, to see thee traverse;
25 to see thee here, to see thee there; to see
 thy pass, thy puncto, thy stock, thy reverse, thy
 distance, thy montant. Is he dead, my Ethiopian?
 Is he dead, my Francisco? Ha, bully? What says
 my Aesculapius, my Galien, my heart of elder, ha?
30 Is he dead, bully stale? Is he dead?
DOCTOR CAIUS By gar, he is de coward jack-priest of de
 vorld. He is not show his face.
HOST Thou art a Castalion King Urinal Hector of
 Greece, my boy!
DOCTOR CAIUS 35I pray you, bear witness that me have
 stay six or seven, two, tree hours for him, and he is
 no come.
SHALLOW He is the wiser man, Master Doctor. He is a
 curer of souls, and you a curer of bodies. If you
40 should fight, you go against the hair of your professions.—
 Is it not true, Master Page?
PAGE Master Shallow, you have yourself been a great
 fighter, though now a man of peace.
SHALLOW Bodykins, Master Page, though I now be old
45 and of the peace, if I see a sword out, my finger

83
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 2. SC. 3

 itches to make one. Though we are justices and
 doctors and churchmen, Master Page, we have
 some salt of our youth in us. We are the sons of
 women, Master Page.
PAGE 50’Tis true, Master Shallow.
SHALLOW It will be found so, Master Page.—Master
 Doctor Caius, I am come to fetch you home. I am
 sworn of the peace. You have showed yourself a
 wise physician, and Sir Hugh hath shown himself
55 a wise and patient churchman. You must go with
 me, Master Doctor.
HOST Pardon, guest Justice. (To Caius.) A word,
 Monsieur Mockwater.
DOCTOR CAIUS “Mockvater”? Vat is dat?
HOST 60“Mockwater,” in our English tongue, is “valor,”
 bully.
DOCTOR CAIUS By gar, then I have as much mockvater
 as de Englishman. Scurvy jack-dog priest! By gar,
 me vill cut his ears.
HOST 65He will clapper-claw thee tightly, bully.
DOCTOR CAIUS “Clapper-de-claw”? Vat is dat?
HOST That is, he will make thee amends.
DOCTOR CAIUS By gar, me do look he shall clapper-de-claw
 me, for, by gar, me vill have it.
HOST 70And I will provoke him to ’t, or let him wag.
DOCTOR CAIUS Me tank you for dat.
HOST And moreover, bully—(He draws Shallow, Page,
 and Slender aside.) 
But first, Master guest, and
 Master Page, and eke Cavaleiro Slender, go you
75 through the town to Frogmore.
PAGE Sir Hugh is there, is he?
HOST He is there. See what humor he is in; and I will
 bring the doctor about by the fields. Will it do
 well?
SHALLOW 80We will do it.
PAGE, SHALLOW, and SLENDER Adieu, good Master
 Doctor.Page, Shallow, and Slender exit.

85
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 2. SC. 3

DOCTOR CAIUS By gar, me vill kill de priest, for he speak
 for a jackanape to Anne Page.
HOST 85Let him die. Sheathe thy impatience; throw cold
 water on thy choler. Go about the fields with me
 through Frogmore. I will bring thee where Mistress
 Anne Page is, at a farmhouse a-feasting, and
 thou shalt woo her. Cried game! Said I well?
DOCTOR CAIUS 90By gar, me dank you vor dat. By gar, I
 love you, and I shall procure-a you de good guest:
 de earl, de knight, de lords, de gentlemen, my
 patients.
HOST For the which I will be thy adversary toward
95 Anne Page. Said I well?
DOCTOR CAIUS By gar, ’tis good. Vell said.
HOST Let us wag, then.
DOCTOR CAIUS Come at my heels, Jack Rugby.
They exit.