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The Comedy of Errors
Act 3, scene 1

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Contents

Characters in the Play

Entire Play

Egeon’s remaining son, Antipholus of Syracuse, and his servant, Dromio of Syracuse, come to Ephesus, where—unknown to them—their lost twins…

Act 1, scene 1

Egeon, a merchant from Syracusae, is arrested for having illegally entered Ephesus. He tells the story of how he lost…

Act 1, scene 2

Antipholus of Syracuse lands in Ephesus with his servant, Dromio. He sends Dromio to an inn with their luggage and…

Act 2, scene 1

Adriana angrily awaits her husband, who is late for dinner. Dromio (of Ephesus) enters and tells about his meeting with…

Act 2, scene 2

Antipholus (of Syracuse) meets Dromio (of Syracuse), who denies having spoken of Antipholus’s wife. Adriana and her sister, Luciana, enter…

Act 3, scene 1

Antipholus of Ephesus brings a goldsmith and a merchant to his home for dinner. He finds the door locked and,…

Act 3, scene 2

Antipholus (of Syracuse) falls in love with Adriana’s sister, Luciana. Dromio (of Syracuse) is claimed by Adriana’s kitchen maid as…

Act 4, scene 1

Antipholus (of Ephesus) sends Dromio (of Ephesus) to buy a rope’s end to beat Adriana. The goldsmith demands the money…

Act 4, scene 2

Dromio (of Syracuse) tells Adriana about the arrest of Antipholus (of Ephesus). She gives him the money for Antipholus’s bail.

Act 4, scene 3

Dromio (of Syracuse) gives Antipholus (of Syracuse) the money sent by Adriana. The Courtesan enters and demands the chain that…

Act 4, scene 4

Antipholus (of Ephesus), under arrest, beats Dromio (of Ephesus) for bringing a rope’s end instead of the money for bail….

Act 5, scene 1

Adriana finds Antipholus (of Syracuse) with his sword drawn and orders that he and Dromio be bound. The Syracusans escape…

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Scene 1
Enter Antipholus of Ephesus, his man Dromio, Angelo
the goldsmith, and Balthasar the merchant.


ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS 
 Good Signior Angelo, you must excuse us all;
 My wife is shrewish when I keep not hours.
 Say that I lingered with you at your shop
 To see the making of her carcanet,
5 And that tomorrow you will bring it home.
 But here’s a villain that would face me down
 He met me on the mart, and that I beat him
 And charged him with a thousand marks in gold,
 And that I did deny my wife and house.—
10 Thou drunkard, thou, what didst thou mean by this?
DROMIO OF EPHESUS 
 Say what you will, sir, but I know what I know.
 That you beat me at the mart I have your hand to
 show;
 If the skin were parchment and the blows you gave
15 were ink,
 Your own handwriting would tell you what I think.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS 
 I think thou art an ass.
DROMIO OF EPHESUS  Marry, so it doth appear
 By the wrongs I suffer and the blows I bear.
57

59
The Comedy of Errors
ACT 3. SC. 1

20 I should kick being kicked and, being at that pass,
 You would keep from my heels and beware of an ass.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS 
 You’re sad, Signior Balthasar. Pray God our cheer
 May answer my goodwill and your good welcome
 here.
BALTHASAR 
25 I hold your dainties cheap, sir, and your welcome
 dear.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS 
 O Signior Balthasar, either at flesh or fish
 A table full of welcome makes scarce one dainty
 dish.
BALTHASAR 
30 Good meat, sir, is common; that every churl affords.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS 
 And welcome more common, for that’s nothing but
 words.
BALTHASAR 
 Small cheer and great welcome makes a merry
 feast.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS 
35 Ay, to a niggardly host and more sparing guest.
 But though my cates be mean, take them in good
 part.
 Better cheer may you have, but not with better
 heart.He attempts to open the door.
40 But soft! My door is locked. To Dromio. Go, bid
 them let us in.
DROMIO OF EPHESUS 
 Maud, Bridget, Marian, Ciceley, Gillian, Ginn!
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE, within 
 Mome, malt-horse, capon, coxcomb, idiot, patch!
 Either get thee from the door or sit down at the
45 hatch.

61
The Comedy of Errors
ACT 3. SC. 1

 Dost thou conjure for wenches, that thou call’st for
 such store
 When one is one too many? Go, get thee from the
 door.
DROMIO OF EPHESUS 
50 What patch is made our porter? My master stays in
 the street.
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE, within 
 Let him walk from whence he came, lest he catch
 cold on ’s feet.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS 
 Who talks within there? Ho, open the door.
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE, within 
55 Right, sir, I’ll tell you when an you’ll tell me
 wherefore.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS 
 Wherefore? For my dinner. I have not dined today.
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE, within 
 Nor today here you must not. Come again when you
 may.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS 
60 What art thou that keep’st me out from the house I
 owe?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE, within 
 The porter for this time, sir, and my name is
 Dromio.
DROMIO OF EPHESUS 
 O villain, thou hast stolen both mine office and my
65 name!
 The one ne’er got me credit, the other mickle
 blame.
 If thou hadst been Dromio today in my place,
 Thou wouldst have changed thy face for a name, or
70 thy name for an ass.

63
The Comedy of Errors
ACT 3. SC. 1

Enter Luce above, unseen by Antipholus of Ephesus
and his company.


LUCE 
 What a coil is there, Dromio! Who are those at the
 gate?
DROMIO OF EPHESUS 
 Let my master in, Luce.
LUCE  Faith, no, he comes too late,
75 And so tell your master.
DROMIO OF EPHESUS  O Lord, I must laugh.
 Have at you with a proverb: shall I set in my staff?
LUCE 
 Have at you with another: that’s—When, can you
 tell?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE, within 
80 If thy name be called “Luce,” Luce, thou hast
 answered him well.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS, to Luce 
 Do you hear, you minion? You’ll let us in, I hope?
LUCE 
 I thought to have asked you.
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE, within   And you said no.
DROMIO OF EPHESUS 
85 So, come help. Well struck! There was blow for
 blow.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS, to Luce 
 Thou baggage, let me in.
LUCE  Can you tell for whose sake?
DROMIO OF EPHESUS 
 Master, knock the door hard.
LUCE 90 Let him knock till it ache.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS 
 You’ll cry for this, minion, if I beat the door down.
He beats on the door.

65
The Comedy of Errors
ACT 3. SC. 1

LUCE 
 What needs all that, and a pair of stocks in the
 town?

Enter Adriana, above, unseen by Antipholus of Ephesus
and his company.


ADRIANA 
 Who is that at the door that keeps all this noise?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE, within 
95 By my troth, your town is troubled with unruly
 boys.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS 
 Are you there, wife? You might have come before.
ADRIANA 
 Your wife, sir knave? Go, get you from the door.
Adriana and Luce exit.
DROMIO OF EPHESUS 
 If you went in pain, master, this knave would go
100 sore.
ANGELO, to Antipholus of Ephesus 
 Here is neither cheer, sir, nor welcome. We would
 fain have either.
BALTHASAR 
 In debating which was best, we shall part with
 neither.
DROMIO OF EPHESUS 
105 They stand at the door, master. Bid them welcome
 hither.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS 
 There is something in the wind, that we cannot get
 in.
DROMIO OF EPHESUS 
 You would say so, master, if your garments were
110 thin.
 Your cake here is warm within; you stand here in
 the cold.

67
The Comedy of Errors
ACT 3. SC. 1

 It would make a man mad as a buck to be so
 bought and sold.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS 
115 Go, fetch me something. I’ll break ope the gate.
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE, within 
 Break any breaking here, and I’ll break your knave’s
 pate.
DROMIO OF EPHESUS 
 A man may break a word with you, sir, and words
 are but wind,
120 Ay, and break it in your face, so he break it not
 behind.
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE, within 
 It seems thou want’st breaking. Out upon thee, hind!
DROMIO OF EPHESUS 
 Here’s too much “Out upon thee!” I pray thee, let
 me in.
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE, within 
125 Ay, when fowls have no feathers and fish have no
 fin.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS, to Dromio of Ephesus 
 Well, I’ll break in. Go, borrow me a crow.
DROMIO OF EPHESUS 
 A crow without feather? Master, mean you so?
 For a fish without a fin, there’s a fowl without a
130 feather.—
 If a crow help us in, sirrah, we’ll pluck a crow
 together.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS 
 Go, get thee gone. Fetch me an iron crow.
BALTHASAR 
 Have patience, sir. O, let it not be so.
135 Herein you war against your reputation,
 And draw within the compass of suspect
 Th’ unviolated honor of your wife.
 Once this: your long experience of her wisdom,

69
The Comedy of Errors
ACT 3. SC. 1

 Her sober virtue, years, and modesty
140 Plead on her part some cause to you unknown.
 And doubt not, sir, but she will well excuse
 Why at this time the doors are made against you.
 Be ruled by me; depart in patience,
 And let us to the Tiger all to dinner,
145 And about evening come yourself alone
 To know the reason of this strange restraint.
 If by strong hand you offer to break in
 Now in the stirring passage of the day,
 A vulgar comment will be made of it;
150 And that supposèd by the common rout
 Against your yet ungallèd estimation
 That may with foul intrusion enter in
 And dwell upon your grave when you are dead;
 For slander lives upon succession,
155 Forever housèd where it gets possession.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS 
 You have prevailed. I will depart in quiet
 And, in despite of mirth, mean to be merry.
 I know a wench of excellent discourse,
 Pretty and witty, wild and yet, too, gentle.
160 There will we dine. This woman that I mean,
 My wife—but, I protest, without desert—
 Hath oftentimes upbraided me withal;
 To her will we to dinner. To Angelo. Get you home
 And fetch the chain; by this, I know, ’tis made.
165 Bring it, I pray you, to the Porpentine,
 For there’s the house. That chain will I bestow—
 Be it for nothing but to spite my wife—
 Upon mine hostess there. Good sir, make haste.
 Since mine own doors refuse to entertain me,
170 I’ll knock elsewhere, to see if they’ll disdain me.
ANGELO 
 I’ll meet you at that place some hour hence.

71
The Comedy of Errors
ACT 3. SC. 2

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS 
 Do so. This jest shall cost me some expense.
They exit.