Enter Leonato and his brother.LEONATO’S BROTHER If you go on thus, you will kill yourself, And ’tis not wisdom thus to second grief Against yourself.LEONATO I pray thee, cease thy counsel,5 Which falls into mine ears as profitless As water in a sieve. Give not me counsel, Nor let no comforter delight mine ear But such a one whose wrongs do suit with mine. Bring me a father that so loved his child,10 Whose joy of her is overwhelmed like mine, And bid him speak of patience. Measure his woe the length and breadth of mine, And let it answer every strain for strain, As thus for thus, and such a grief for such,15 In every lineament, branch, shape, and form. If such a one will smile and stroke his beard, ⌜Bid⌝ sorrow wag, cry “hem” when he should groan, Patch grief with proverbs, make misfortune drunk20 With candle-wasters, bring him yet to me, And I of him will gather patience. But there is no such man. For, brother, men
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Can counsel and speak comfort to that grief Which they themselves not feel, but tasting it,25 Their counsel turns to passion, which before Would give preceptial med’cine to rage, Fetter strong madness in a silken thread, Charm ache with air and agony with words. No, no, ’tis all men’s office to speak patience30 To those that wring under the load of sorrow, But no man’s virtue nor sufficiency To be so moral when he shall endure The like himself. Therefore give me no counsel. My griefs cry louder than advertisement.LEONATO’S BROTHER 35 Therein do men from children nothing differ.LEONATO I pray thee, peace. I will be flesh and blood, For there was never yet philosopher That could endure the toothache patiently, However they have writ the style of gods40 And made a push at chance and sufferance.LEONATO’S BROTHER Yet bend not all the harm upon yourself. Make those that do offend you suffer too.LEONATO There thou speak’st reason. Nay, I will do so. My soul doth tell me Hero is belied,45 And that shall Claudio know; so shall the Prince And all of them that thus dishonor her.Enter Prince and Claudio.LEONATO’S BROTHER Here comes the Prince and Claudio hastily.PRINCE Good e’en, good e’en.CLAUDIO Good day to both of you.
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LEONATO 50 Hear you, my lords—PRINCE We have some haste, Leonato.LEONATO Some haste, my lord! Well, fare you well, my lord. Are you so hasty now? Well, all is one.PRINCE 55 Nay, do not quarrel with us, good old man.LEONATO’S BROTHER If he could right himself with quarrelling, Some of us would lie low.CLAUDIO Who wrongs him?LEONATO Marry, thou dost wrong me, thou dissembler, thou.60 Nay, never lay thy hand upon thy sword. I fear thee not.CLAUDIO Marry, beshrew my hand If it should give your age such cause of fear. In faith, my hand meant nothing to my sword.LEONATO 65 Tush, tush, man, never fleer and jest at me. I speak not like a dotard nor a fool, As under privilege of age to brag What I have done being young, or what would do Were I not old. Know, Claudio, to thy head,70 Thou hast so wronged mine innocent child and me That I am forced to lay my reverence by, And with gray hairs and bruise of many days Do challenge thee to trial of a man. I say thou hast belied mine innocent child.75 Thy slander hath gone through and through her heart, And she lies buried with her ancestors, O, in a tomb where never scandal slept, Save this of hers, framed by thy villainy.
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CLAUDIO 80 My villainy?LEONATO Thine, Claudio, thine, I say.PRINCE You say not right, old man.LEONATO My lord, my lord, I’ll prove it on his body if he dare,85 Despite his nice fence and his active practice, His May of youth and bloom of lustihood.CLAUDIO Away! I will not have to do with you.LEONATO Canst thou so daff me? Thou hast killed my child. If thou kill’st me, boy, thou shalt kill a man.LEONATO’S BROTHER 90 He shall kill two of us, and men indeed, But that’s no matter. Let him kill one first. Win me and wear me! Let him answer me.— Come, follow me, boy. Come, sir boy, come, follow me.95 Sir boy, I’ll whip you from your foining fence, Nay, as I am a gentleman, I will.LEONATO Brother—LEONATO’S BROTHER Content yourself. God knows I loved my niece, And she is dead, slandered to death by villains100 That dare as well answer a man indeed As I dare take a serpent by the tongue.— Boys, apes, braggarts, jacks, milksops!LEONATO Brother Anthony—LEONATO’S BROTHER Hold you content. What, man! I know them, yea,105 And what they weigh, even to the utmost scruple— Scambling, outfacing, fashionmonging boys, That lie and cog and flout, deprave and slander, Go anticly and show outward hideousness,
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And speak off half a dozen dang’rous words110 How they might hurt their enemies, if they durst, And this is all.LEONATO But brother Anthony—LEONATO’S BROTHER Come, ’tis no matter. Do not you meddle. Let me deal in this.PRINCE 115 Gentlemen both, we will not wake your patience. My heart is sorry for your daughter’s death, But, on my honor, she was charged with nothing But what was true and very full of proof.LEONATO My lord, my lord—PRINCE 120I will not hear you.LEONATO No? Come, brother, away. I will be heard.LEONATO’S BROTHER And shall, or some of us will smart for it.⌜Leonato and his brother⌝ exit.Enter Benedick.PRINCE See, see, here comes the man we went to seek.CLAUDIO Now, signior, what news?BENEDICK, ⌜to Prince⌝ 125Good day, my lord.PRINCE Welcome, signior. You are almost come to part almost a fray.CLAUDIO We had ⌜like⌝ to have had our two noses snapped off with two old men without teeth.PRINCE 130Leonato and his brother. What think’st thou? Had we fought, I doubt we should have been too young for them.BENEDICK In a false quarrel there is no true valor. I came to seek you both.CLAUDIO 135We have been up and down to seek thee, for we are high-proof melancholy and would fain have it beaten away. Wilt thou use thy wit?
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BENEDICK It is in my scabbard. Shall I draw it?PRINCE Dost thou wear thy wit by thy side?CLAUDIO 140Never any did so, though very many have been beside their wit. I will bid thee draw, as we do the minstrels: draw to pleasure us.PRINCE As I am an honest man, he looks pale.—Art thou sick, or angry?CLAUDIO, ⌜to Benedick⌝ 145What, courage, man! What though care killed a cat? Thou hast mettle enough in thee to kill care.BENEDICK Sir, I shall meet your wit in the career, an you charge it against me. I pray you, choose another150 subject.CLAUDIO, ⌜to Prince⌝ Nay, then, give him another staff. This last was broke ’cross.PRINCE By this light, he changes more and more. I think he be angry indeed.CLAUDIO 155If he be, he knows how to turn his girdle.BENEDICK Shall I speak a word in your ear?CLAUDIO God bless me from a challenge!BENEDICK, ⌜aside to Claudio⌝ You are a villain. I jest not. I will make it good how you dare, with what you160 dare, and when you dare. Do me right, or I will protest your cowardice. You have killed a sweet lady, and her death shall fall heavy on you. Let me hear from you.CLAUDIO Well, I will meet you, so I may have good165 cheer.PRINCE What, a feast, a feast?CLAUDIO I’ faith, I thank him. He hath bid me to a calf’s head and a capon, the which if I do not carve most curiously, say my knife’s naught. Shall I not170 find a woodcock too?BENEDICK Sir, your wit ambles well; it goes easily.PRINCE I’ll tell thee how Beatrice praised thy wit the other day. I said thou hadst a fine wit. “True,” said
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she, “a fine little one.” “No,” said I, “a great wit.”175 “Right,” says she, “a great gross one.” “Nay,” said I, “a good wit.” “Just,” said she, “it hurts nobody.” “Nay,” said I, “the gentleman is wise.” “Certain,” said she, “a wise gentleman.” “Nay,” said I, “he hath the tongues.” “That I believe,” said she, “for he180 swore a thing to me on Monday night which he forswore on Tuesday morning; there’s a double tongue, there’s two tongues.” Thus did she an hour together transshape thy particular virtues. Yet at last she concluded with a sigh, thou wast the185 proper’st man in Italy.CLAUDIO For the which she wept heartily and said she cared not.PRINCE Yea, that she did. But yet for all that, an if she did not hate him deadly, she would love him190 dearly. The old man’s daughter told us all.CLAUDIO All, all. And, moreover, God saw him when he was hid in the garden.PRINCE But when shall we set the savage bull’s horns on the sensible Benedick’s head?CLAUDIO 195Yea, and text underneath: “Here dwells Benedick, the married man”?BENEDICK Fare you well, boy. You know my mind. I will leave you now to your gossip-like humor. You break jests as braggarts do their blades, which, God200 be thanked, hurt not.—My lord, for your many courtesies I thank you. I must discontinue your company. Your brother the Bastard is fled from Messina. You have among you killed a sweet and innocent lady. For my Lord Lackbeard there, he and205 I shall meet, and till then peace be with him.⌜Benedick exits.⌝PRINCE He is in earnest.CLAUDIO In most profound earnest, and, I’ll warrant you, for the love of Beatrice.
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PRINCE And hath challenged thee?CLAUDIO 210Most sincerely.PRINCE What a pretty thing man is when he goes in his doublet and hose and leaves off his wit!CLAUDIO He is then a giant to an ape; but then is an ape a doctor to such a man.PRINCE 215But soft you, let me be. Pluck up, my heart, and be sad. Did he not say my brother was fled?Enter Constables ⌜Dogberry and Verges, and the Watch,
with⌝ Conrade and Borachio.⌜DOGBERRY⌝ Come you, sir. If justice cannot tame you, she shall ne’er weigh more reasons in her balance. Nay, an you be a cursing hypocrite once, you must220 be looked to.PRINCE How now, two of my brother’s men bound? Borachio one!CLAUDIO Hearken after their offense, my lord.PRINCE Officers, what offense have these men done?⌜DOGBERRY⌝ 225Marry, sir, they have committed false report; moreover, they have spoken untruths; secondarily, they are slanders; sixth and lastly, they have belied a lady; thirdly, they have verified unjust things; and, to conclude, they are lying knaves.PRINCE 230First, I ask thee what they have done; thirdly, I ask thee what’s their offense; sixth and lastly, why they are committed; and, to conclude, what you lay to their charge.CLAUDIO Rightly reasoned, and in his own division;235 and, by my troth, there’s one meaning well suited.PRINCE, ⌜to Borachio and Conrade⌝ Who have you offended, masters, that you are thus bound to your answer? This learned constable is too cunning to be understood. What’s your offense?BORACHIO 240Sweet prince, let me go no farther to mine answer. Do you hear me, and let this count kill me.
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I have deceived even your very eyes. What your wisdoms could not discover, these shallow fools have brought to light, who in the night overheard245 me confessing to this man how Don John your brother incensed me to slander the Lady Hero, how you were brought into the orchard and saw me court Margaret in Hero’s garments, how you disgraced her when you should marry her. My villainy250 they have upon record, which I had rather seal with my death than repeat over to my shame. The lady is dead upon mine and my master’s false accusation. And, briefly, I desire nothing but the reward of a villain.PRINCE, ⌜to Claudio⌝ 255 Runs not this speech like iron through your blood?CLAUDIO I have drunk poison whiles he uttered it.PRINCE, ⌜to Borachio⌝ But did my brother set thee on to this?BORACHIO Yea, and paid me richly for the practice of it.PRINCE 260 He is composed and framed of treachery, And fled he is upon this villainy.CLAUDIO Sweet Hero, now thy image doth appear In the rare semblance that I loved it first.⌜DOGBERRY⌝ Come, bring away the plaintiffs. By this265 time our sexton hath reformed Signior Leonato of the matter. And, masters, do not forget to specify, when time and place shall serve, that I am an ass.⌜VERGES⌝ Here, here comes Master Signior Leonato, and the Sexton too.Enter Leonato, his brother, and the Sexton.
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LEONATO 270 Which is the villain? Let me see his eyes, That, when I note another man like him, I may avoid him. Which of these is he?BORACHIO If you would know your wronger, look on me.LEONATO Art thou the slave that with thy breath hast killed275 Mine innocent child?BORACHIO Yea, even I alone.LEONATO No, not so, villain, thou beliest thyself. Here stand a pair of honorable men— A third is fled—that had a hand in it.—280 I thank you, princes, for my daughter’s death. Record it with your high and worthy deeds. ’Twas bravely done, if you bethink you of it.CLAUDIO I know not how to pray your patience, Yet I must speak. Choose your revenge yourself.285 Impose me to what penance your invention Can lay upon my sin. Yet sinned I not But in mistaking.PRINCE By my soul, nor I, And yet to satisfy this good old man290 I would bend under any heavy weight That he’ll enjoin me to.LEONATO I cannot bid you bid my daughter live— That were impossible—but, I pray you both, Possess the people in Messina here295 How innocent she died. And if your love Can labor aught in sad invention, Hang her an epitaph upon her tomb And sing it to her bones. Sing it tonight. Tomorrow morning come you to my house,
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300 And since you could not be my son-in-law, Be yet my nephew. My brother hath a daughter, Almost the copy of my child that’s dead, And she alone is heir to both of us. Give her the right you should have giv’n her cousin,305 And so dies my revenge.CLAUDIO O, noble sir! Your overkindness doth wring tears from me. I do embrace your offer and dispose For henceforth of poor Claudio.LEONATO 310 Tomorrow then I will expect your coming. Tonight I take my leave. This naughty man Shall face to face be brought to Margaret, Who I believe was packed in all this wrong, Hired to it by your brother.BORACHIO 315No, by my soul, she was not, Nor knew not what she did when she spoke to me, But always hath been just and virtuous In anything that I do know by her.⌜DOGBERRY, to Leonato⌝ Moreover, sir, which indeed is320 not under white and black, this plaintiff here, the offender, did call me ass. I beseech you, let it be remembered in his punishment. And also the watch heard them talk of one Deformed. They say he wears a key in his ear and a lock hanging by it and325 borrows money in God’s name, the which he hath used so long and never paid that now men grow hardhearted and will lend nothing for God’s sake. Pray you, examine him upon that point.LEONATO I thank thee for thy care and honest pains.⌜DOGBERRY⌝ 330Your Worship speaks like a most thankful and reverent youth, and I praise God for you.LEONATO, ⌜giving him money⌝ There’s for thy pains.⌜DOGBERRY⌝ God save the foundation.
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LEONATO Go, I discharge thee of thy prisoner, and I335 thank thee.⌜DOGBERRY⌝ I leave an arrant knave with your Worship, which I beseech your Worship to correct yourself, for the example of others. God keep your Worship! I wish your Worship well. God restore you340 to health. I humbly give you leave to depart, and if a merry meeting may be wished, God prohibit it.— Come, neighbor.⌜Dogberry and Verges exit.⌝LEONATO Until tomorrow morning, lords, farewell.LEONATO’S BROTHER Farewell, my lords. We look for you tomorrow.PRINCE 345 We will not fail.CLAUDIO Tonight I’ll mourn with Hero.LEONATO, ⌜to Watch⌝ Bring you these fellows on.—We’ll talk with Margaret, How her acquaintance grew with this lewd fellow.They exit.
