Enter Angelo, Escalus, Servants, ⌜and a⌝ Justice.ANGELO We must not make a scarecrow of the law, Setting it up to fear the birds of prey, And let it keep one shape till custom make it Their perch and not their terror.ESCALUS 5 Ay, but yet Let us be keen and rather cut a little Than fall and bruise to death. Alas, this gentleman Whom I would save had a most noble father. Let but your Honor know,10 Whom I believe to be most strait in virtue, That, in the working of your own affections, Had time cohered with place, or place with wishing, Or that the resolute acting of ⌜your⌝ blood Could have attained th’ effect of your own purpose,15 Whether you had not sometime in your life Erred in this point which now you censure him, And pulled the law upon you.ANGELO ’Tis one thing to be tempted, Escalus, Another thing to fall. I not deny20 The jury passing on the prisoner’s life May in the sworn twelve have a thief or two Guiltier than him they try. What’s open made to justice,
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That justice seizes. What knows the laws25 That thieves do pass on thieves? ’Tis very pregnant, The jewel that we find, we stoop and take ’t Because we see it; but what we do not see, We tread upon and never think of it. You may not so extenuate his offense30 For I have had such faults; but rather tell me, When I that censure him do so offend, Let mine own judgment pattern out my death, And nothing come in partial. Sir, he must die.Enter Provost.ESCALUS Be it as your wisdom will.ANGELO 35 Where is the Provost?PROVOST Here, if it like your Honor.ANGELO See that Claudio Be executed by nine tomorrow morning. Bring him his confessor, let him be prepared,40 For that’s the utmost of his pilgrimage.⌜Provost exits.⌝ESCALUS Well, heaven forgive him and forgive us all. Some rise by sin and some by virtue fall. Some run from brakes of ice and answer none, And some condemnèd for a fault alone.Enter Elbow ⌜and⌝ Officers, ⌜with⌝ Froth
⌜and Pompey.⌝ELBOW, ⌜to Officers⌝ 45Come, bring them away. If these be good people in a commonweal that do nothing but use their abuses in common houses, I know no law. Bring them away.ANGELO How now, sir, what’s your name? And what’s50 the matter?
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ELBOW If it please your Honor, I am the poor duke’s constable, and my name is Elbow. I do lean upon justice, sir, and do bring in here before your good Honor two notorious benefactors.ANGELO 55Benefactors? Well, what benefactors are they? Are they not malefactors?ELBOW If it please your Honor, I know not well what they are, but precise villains they are, that I am sure of, and void of all profanation in the world that60 good Christians ought to have.ESCALUS, ⌜to Angelo⌝ This comes off well. Here’s a wise officer.ANGELO, ⌜to Elbow⌝ Go to. What quality are they of? Elbow is your name? Why dost thou not speak,65 Elbow?POMPEY He cannot, sir. He’s out at elbow.ANGELO What are you, sir?ELBOW He, sir? A tapster, sir, parcel bawd; one that serves a bad woman, whose house, sir, was, as they70 say, plucked down in the suburbs, and now she professes a hothouse, which I think is a very ill house too.ESCALUS How know you that?ELBOW My wife, sir, whom I detest before heaven and75 your Honor—ESCALUS How? Thy wife?ELBOW Ay, sir, whom I thank heaven is an honest woman—ESCALUS Dost thou detest her therefore?ELBOW 80I say, sir, I will detest myself also, as well as she, that this house, if it be not a bawd’s house, it is pity of her life, for it is a naughty house.ESCALUS How dost thou know that, constable?ELBOW Marry, sir, by my wife, who, if she had been a85 woman cardinally given, might have been accused
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in fornication, adultery, and all uncleanliness there.ESCALUS By the woman’s means?ELBOW Ay, sir, by Mistress Overdone’s means; but as90 she spit in his face, so she defied him.POMPEY, ⌜to Escalus⌝ Sir, if it please your Honor, this is not so.ELBOW Prove it before these varlets here, thou honorable man, prove it.ESCALUS, ⌜to Angelo⌝ 95Do you hear how he misplaces?POMPEY Sir, she came in great with child, and longing, saving your Honor’s reverence, for stewed prunes. Sir, we had but two in the house, which at that very distant time stood, as it were, in a fruit dish, a dish100 of some threepence; your Honors have seen such dishes; they are not china dishes, but very good dishes—ESCALUS Go to, go to. No matter for the dish, sir.POMPEY No, indeed, sir, not of a pin; you are therein in105 the right. But to the point: as I say, this Mistress Elbow, being, as I say, with child, and being great-bellied, and longing, as I said, for prunes; and having but two in the dish, as I said, Master Froth here, this very man, having eaten the rest, as I said,110 and, as I say, paying for them very honestly—for, as you know, Master Froth, I could not give you threepence again—FROTH No, indeed.POMPEY Very well. You being then, if you be remembered,115 cracking the stones of the foresaid prunes—FROTH Ay, so I did indeed.POMPEY Why, very well. I telling you then, if you be remembered, that such a one and such a one were past cure of the thing you wot of, unless they kept120 very good diet, as I told you—FROTH All this is true.
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POMPEY Why, very well then—ESCALUS Come, you are a tedious fool. To the purpose: what was done to Elbow’s wife that he hath cause to125 complain of? Come me to what was done to her.POMPEY Sir, your Honor cannot come to that yet.ESCALUS No, sir, nor I mean it not.POMPEY Sir, but you shall come to it, by your Honor’s leave. And I beseech you, look into Master Froth130 here, sir, a man of fourscore pound a year, whose father died at Hallowmas—was ’t not at Hallowmas, Master Froth?FROTH All-hallond Eve.POMPEY Why, very well. I hope here be truths.—He,135 sir, sitting, as I say, in a lower chair, sir—⌜To Froth.⌝ ’Twas in the Bunch of Grapes, where indeed you have a delight to sit, have you not?FROTH I have so, because it is an open room, and good for winter.POMPEY 140Why, very well then. I hope here be truths.ANGELO, ⌜to Escalus⌝ This will last out a night in Russia When nights are longest there. I’ll take my leave, And leave you to the hearing of the cause, Hoping you’ll find good cause to whip them all.ESCALUS 145 I think no less. Good morrow to your Lordship⌜Angelo⌝ exits. Now, sir, come on. What was done to Elbow’s wife, once more?POMPEY Once, sir? There was nothing done to her once.ELBOW, ⌜to Escalus⌝ 150I beseech you, sir, ask him what this man did to my wife.POMPEY, ⌜to Escalus⌝ I beseech your Honor, ask me.ESCALUS Well, sir, what did this gentleman to her?POMPEY I beseech you, sir, look in this gentleman’s
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155 face.—Good Master Froth, look upon his Honor. ’Tis for a good purpose.—Doth your Honor mark his face?ESCALUS Ay, sir, very well.POMPEY Nay, I beseech you, mark it well.ESCALUS 160Well, I do so.POMPEY Doth your Honor see any harm in his face?ESCALUS Why, no.POMPEY I’ll be supposed upon a book, his face is the worst thing about him. Good, then, if his face be the165 worst thing about him, how could Master Froth do the Constable’s wife any harm? I would know that of your Honor.ESCALUS He’s in the right, constable. What say you to it?ELBOW 170First, an it like you, the house is a respected house; next, this is a respected fellow, and his mistress is a respected woman.POMPEY By this hand, sir, his wife is a more respected person than any of us all.ELBOW 175Varlet, thou liest; thou liest, wicked varlet! The time is yet to come that she was ever respected with man, woman, or child.POMPEY Sir, she was respected with him before he married with her.ESCALUS 180Which is the wiser here, Justice or Iniquity? Is this true?ELBOW, ⌜to Pompey⌝ O thou caitiff! O thou varlet! O thou wicked Hannibal! I respected with her before I was married to her?—If ever I was respected with185 her, or she with me, let not your Worship think me the poor duke’s officer.—Prove this, thou wicked Hannibal, or I’ll have mine action of batt’ry on thee.ESCALUS If he took you a box o’ th’ ear, you might have your action of slander too.ELBOW 190Marry, I thank your good Worship for it. What
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is ’t your Worship’s pleasure I shall do with this wicked caitiff?ESCALUS Truly, officer, because he hath some offenses in him that thou wouldst discover if thou couldst,195 let him continue in his courses till thou know’st what they are.ELBOW Marry, I thank your Worship for it. ⌜To Pompey.⌝ Thou seest, thou wicked varlet, now, what’s come upon thee. Thou art to continue now, thou200 varlet, thou art to continue.ESCALUS, ⌜to Froth⌝ Where were you born, friend?FROTH Here in Vienna, sir.ESCALUS Are you of fourscore pounds a year?FROTH Yes, an ’t please you, sir.ESCALUS 205So. ⌜To Pompey.⌝ What trade are you of, sir?POMPEY A tapster, a poor widow’s tapster.ESCALUS Your mistress’ name?POMPEY Mistress Overdone.ESCALUS Hath she had any more than one husband?POMPEY 210Nine, sir. Overdone by the last.ESCALUS Nine?—Come hither to me, Master Froth. Master Froth, I would not have you acquainted with tapsters; they will draw you, Master Froth, and you will hang them. Get you gone, and let me hear no215 more of you.FROTH I thank your Worship. For mine own part, I never come into any room in a taphouse but I am drawn in.ESCALUS Well, no more of it, Master Froth. Farewell.⌜Froth exits.⌝220 Come you hither to me, Master Tapster. What’s your name, Master Tapster?POMPEY Pompey.ESCALUS What else?POMPEY Bum, sir.
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ESCALUS 225Troth, and your bum is the greatest thing about you, so that in the beastliest sense you are Pompey the Great. Pompey, you are partly a bawd, Pompey, howsoever you color it in being a tapster, are you not? Come, tell me true. It shall be the230 better for you.POMPEY Truly, sir, I am a poor fellow that would live.ESCALUS How would you live, Pompey? By being a bawd? What do you think of the trade, Pompey? Is it a lawful trade?POMPEY 235If the law would allow it, sir.ESCALUS But the law will not allow it, Pompey, nor it shall not be allowed in Vienna.POMPEY Does your Worship mean to geld and splay all the youth of the city?ESCALUS 240No, Pompey.POMPEY Truly, sir, in my poor opinion, they will to ’t then. If your Worship will take order for the drabs and the knaves, you need not to fear the bawds.ESCALUS There is pretty orders beginning, I can tell245 you. It is but heading and hanging.POMPEY If you head and hang all that offend that way but for ten year together, you’ll be glad to give out a commission for more heads. If this law hold in Vienna ten year, I’ll rent the fairest house in it after250 threepence a bay. If you live to see this come to pass, say Pompey told you so.ESCALUS Thank you, good Pompey. And in requital of your prophecy, hark you: I advise you let me not find you before me again upon any complaint255 whatsoever; no, not for dwelling where you do. If I do, Pompey, I shall beat you to your tent and prove a shrewd Caesar to you. In plain dealing, Pompey, I shall have you whipped. So, for this time, Pompey, fare you well.POMPEY 260I thank your Worship for your good counsel.
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⌜Aside.⌝ But I shall follow it as the flesh and fortune shall better determine. Whip me? No, no, let carman whip his jade. The valiant heart’s not whipped out of his trade.He exits.ESCALUS 265Come hither to me, Master Elbow. Come hither, Master Constable. How long have you been in this place of constable?ELBOW Seven year and a half, sir.ESCALUS I thought, by the readiness in the office, you270 had continued in it some time. You say seven years together?ELBOW And a half, sir.ESCALUS Alas, it hath been great pains to you. They do you wrong to put you so oft upon ’t. Are there not275 men in your ward sufficient to serve it?ELBOW Faith, sir, few of any wit in such matters. As they are chosen, they are glad to choose me for them. I do it for some piece of money and go through with all.ESCALUS 280Look you bring me in the names of some six or seven, the most sufficient of your parish.ELBOW To your Worship’s house, sir?ESCALUS To my house. Fare you well.⌜Elbow and Officers exit.⌝ ⌜To Justice.⌝ What’s o’clock, think you?JUSTICE 285Eleven, sir.ESCALUS I pray you home to dinner with me.JUSTICE I humbly thank you.ESCALUS It grieves me for the death of Claudio, But there’s no remedy.JUSTICE 290 Lord Angelo is severe.ESCALUS It is but needful. Mercy is not itself that oft looks so.
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Pardon is still the nurse of second woe. But yet, poor Claudio. There is no remedy.295 Come, sir.They exit.
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