Enter Kent ⌜in disguise⌝ and ⌜Oswald, the⌝ Steward,
severally.OSWALD Good dawning to thee, friend. Art of this house?KENT Ay.OSWALD Where may we set our horses?KENT 5I’ th’ mire.OSWALD Prithee, if thou lov’st me, tell me.KENT I love thee not.OSWALD Why then, I care not for thee.KENT If I had thee in Lipsbury pinfold, I would make10 thee care for me.OSWALD Why dost thou use me thus? I know thee not.KENT Fellow, I know thee.OSWALD What dost thou know me for?KENT A knave, a rascal, an eater of broken meats; a15 base, proud, shallow, beggarly, three-suited, hundred-pound, filthy worsted-stocking knave; a lily-livered, action-taking, whoreson, glass-gazing, superserviceable, finical rogue; one-trunk-inheriting
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slave; one that wouldst be a bawd in way of good20 service, and art nothing but the composition of a knave, beggar, coward, pander, and the son and heir of a mongrel bitch; one whom I will beat into ⟨clamorous⟩ whining if thou deny’st the least syllable of thy addition.OSWALD 25Why, what a monstrous fellow art thou thus to rail on one that is neither known of thee nor knows thee!KENT What a brazen-faced varlet art thou to deny thou knowest me! Is it two days ⟨ago⟩ since I tripped up30 thy heels and beat thee before the King? ⌜He draws
his sword.⌝ Draw, you rogue, for though it be night, yet the moon shines. I’ll make a sop o’ th’ moonshine of you, you whoreson, cullionly barbermonger. Draw!OSWALD 35Away! I have nothing to do with thee.KENT Draw, you rascal! You come with letters against the King and take Vanity the puppet’s part against the royalty of her father. Draw, you rogue, or I’ll so carbonado your shanks! Draw, you rascal! Come40 your ways.OSWALD Help, ho! Murder! Help!KENT Strike, you slave! Stand, rogue! Stand, you neat slave! Strike!⌜He beats Oswald.⌝OSWALD Help, ho! Murder, murder!Enter Bastard ⟨Edmund, with his rapier drawn,⟩
Cornwall, Regan, Gloucester, Servants.EDMUND 45How now, what’s the matter? Part!KENT With you, goodman boy, if you please. Come, I’ll flesh you. Come on, young master.GLOUCESTER Weapons? Arms? What’s the matter here?CORNWALL Keep peace, upon your lives! He dies that50 strikes again. What is the matter?
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REGAN The messengers from our sister and the King.CORNWALL What is your difference? Speak.OSWALD I am scarce in breath, my lord.KENT No marvel, you have so bestirred your valor.55 You cowardly rascal, nature disclaims in thee; a tailor made thee.CORNWALL Thou art a strange fellow. A tailor make a man?KENT A tailor, sir. A stonecutter or a painter could not60 have made him so ill, though they had been but two years o’ th’ trade.CORNWALL Speak yet, how grew your quarrel?OSWALD This ancient ruffian, sir, whose life I have spared at suit of his gray beard—KENT 65Thou whoreson zed, thou unnecessary letter! —My lord, if you will give me leave, I will tread this unbolted villain into mortar and daub the wall of a jakes with him.—Spare my gray beard, you wagtail?CORNWALL 70Peace, sirrah! You beastly knave, know you no reverence?KENT Yes, sir, but anger hath a privilege.CORNWALL Why art thou angry?KENT That such a slave as this should wear a sword,75 Who wears no honesty. Such smiling rogues as these, Like rats, oft bite the holy cords atwain Which are ⟨too⟩ intrinse t’ unloose; smooth every passion80 That in the natures of their lords rebel— Being oil to fire, snow to the colder moods— ⟨Renege,⟩ affirm, and turn their halcyon beaks With every ⟨gale⟩ and vary of their masters,
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Knowing naught, like dogs, but following.—85 A plague upon your epileptic visage! ⌜Smile⌝ you my speeches, as I were a fool? Goose, if I had you upon Sarum plain, I’d drive you cackling home to Camelot.CORNWALL What, art thou mad, old fellow?GLOUCESTER 90How fell you out? Say that.KENT No contraries hold more antipathy Than I and such a knave.CORNWALL Why dost thou call him “knave”? What is his fault?KENT His countenance likes me not.CORNWALL 95 No more, perchance, does mine, nor his, nor hers.KENT Sir, ’tis my occupation to be plain: I have seen better faces in my time Than stands on any shoulder that I see Before me at this instant.CORNWALL 100 This is some fellow Who, having been praised for bluntness, doth affect A saucy roughness and constrains the garb Quite from his nature. He cannot flatter, he. An honest mind and plain, he must speak truth!105 An they will take it, so; if not, he’s plain. These kind of knaves I know, which in this plainness Harbor more craft and more corrupter ends Than twenty silly-ducking observants110 That stretch their duties nicely.KENT Sir, in good faith, in sincere verity, Under th’ allowance of your great aspect, Whose influence, like the wreath of radiant fire On ⌜flick’ring⌝ Phoebus’ front—
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CORNWALL 115 What mean’st by this?KENT To go out of my dialect, which you discommend so much. I know, sir, I am no flatterer. He that beguiled you in a plain accent was a plain knave, which for my part I will not be, though I should120 win your displeasure to entreat me to ’t.CORNWALL, ⌜to Oswald⌝ What was th’ offense you gave him?OSWALD I never gave him any. It pleased the King his master very late125 To strike at me, upon his misconstruction; When he, compact, and flattering his displeasure, Tripped me behind; being down, insulted, railed, And put upon him such a deal of man That worthied him, got praises of the King130 For him attempting who was self-subdued; And in the fleshment of this ⟨dread⟩ exploit, Drew on me here again.KENT None of these rogues and cowards But Ajax is their fool.CORNWALL 135 Fetch forth the stocks.— You stubborn ancient knave, you reverent braggart, We’ll teach you.KENT Sir, I am too old to learn. Call not your stocks for me. I serve the King,140 On whose employment I was sent to you. You shall do small ⟨respect,⟩ show too bold malice Against the grace and person of my master, Stocking his messenger.CORNWALL 145 Fetch forth the stocks.—As I have life and honor, There shall he sit till noon.REGAN Till noon? Till night, my lord, and all night, too.
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KENT Why, madam, if I were your father’s dog, You should not use me so.REGAN 150Sir, being his knave, I will.CORNWALL This is a fellow of the selfsame color Our sister speaks of.—Come, bring away the stocks.Stocks brought out.GLOUCESTER Let me beseech your Grace not to do so. ⟨His fault is much, and the good king his master155 Will check him for ’t. Your purposed low correction Is such as basest and ⌜contemned’st⌝ wretches For pilf’rings and most common trespasses Are punished with.⟩ The King must take it ill That he, so slightly valued in his messenger,160 Should have him thus restrained.CORNWALL I’ll answer that.REGAN My sister may receive it much more worse To have her gentleman abused, assaulted ⟨For following her affairs.—Put in his legs.⟩⌜Kent is put in the stocks.⌝CORNWALL 165Come, my ⟨good⟩ lord, away.⌜All but Gloucester and Kent⌝ exit.GLOUCESTER I am sorry for thee, friend. ’Tis the ⟨Duke’s⟩ pleasure, Whose disposition all the world well knows Will not be rubbed nor stopped. I’ll entreat for thee.KENT 170 Pray, do not, sir. I have watched and traveled hard. Some time I shall sleep out; the rest I’ll whistle. A good man’s fortune may grow out at heels. Give you good morrow.
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GLOUCESTER The Duke’s to blame in this. ’Twill be ill taken.He exits.KENT 175 Good king, that must approve the common saw, Thou out of heaven’s benediction com’st To the warm sun.⌜He takes out a paper.⌝ Approach, thou beacon to this under globe, That by thy comfortable beams I may180 Peruse this letter. Nothing almost sees miracles But misery. I know ’tis from Cordelia, Who hath most fortunately been informed Of my obscurèd course, and shall find time From this enormous state, seeking to give185 Losses their remedies. All weary and o’erwatched, Take vantage, heavy eyes, not to behold This shameful lodging. Fortune, good night. Smile once more; turn thy wheel.⟨Sleeps.⟩
King Lear
