Synopsis:
At Mistress Quickly’s inn in Eastcheap, a fight erupts after Falstaff ’s ensign, Pistol, insults Doll Tearsheet. The disguised Prince Hal and Poins hear Falstaff ’s demeaning comments about them. Hal and Falstaff are summoned to the war.
Henry IV, Part 2: Act 2, scene 4
Henry IV, Part 2
Contents
Characters in the Play
Entire Play
Henry IV, Part 2, continues the story of Henry IV, Part I. Northumberland learns that his son Hotspur is dead, and…
Induction
Following the battle of Shrewsbury (where King Henry and Prince Hal were victorious and Hotspur killed), Rumor spreads the false…
Act 1, scene 1
Northumberland, who had pleaded illness as an excuse for not appearing at the battle of Shrewsbury, learns that his son,…
Act 1, scene 2
Sir John Falstaff is confronted by the Lord Chief Justice. Since Falstaff has come away from Shrewsbury with the reputation…
Act 1, scene 3
At York, the Archbishop discusses with Mowbray, Hastings, and Lord Bardolph whether they can defeat the king’s forces if their…
Act 2, scene 1
Sir John is arrested for the debt he owes Mistress Quickly. He persuades her to drop the charges and to…
Act 2, scene 2
Learning that Falstaff will be dining that night in Eastcheap, Prince Hal and Poins decide to disguise themselves as waiters…
Act 2, scene 3
Northumberland is persuaded by his daughter-in-law, Hotspur’s widow, to abandon the other rebels.
Act 2, scene 4
At Mistress Quickly’s inn in Eastcheap, a fight erupts after Falstaff ’s ensign, Pistol, insults Doll Tearsheet. The disguised Prince Hal…
Act 3, scene 1
An ill and anxious King Henry IV consults with Warwick.
Act 3, scene 2
On his journey through Gloucestershire, Falstaff selects recruits for the army and decides that, on his return, he will fleece…
Act 4, scene 1
The leaders of the rebellion reach Gaultree Forest, where they present their grievances to Westmoreland. After Prince John promises redress…
Act 4, scene 2
Falstaff meets a rebel knight, who surrenders to him. When Prince John reproaches Falstaff for his late arrival, Falstaff turns…
Act 4, scene 3
Just after receiving the good news about the defeat of all the rebel forces, Henry IV falls into a swoon….
Act 5, scene 1
Falstaff observes Shallow and his servants in order to be ready to entertain Prince Hal with amusing stories.
Act 5, scene 2
Prince Hal reassures an anxious Lord Chief Justice.
Act 5, scene 3
On the news of Henry IV’s death, Falstaff and Shallow set off joyfully for London.
Act 5, scene 4
Doll Tearsheet is arrested.
Act 5, scene 5
The newly crowned King Henry V keeps his word to the Lord Chief Justice.
Epilogue
The speaker apologizes for the play and promises another play with Falstaff in it.
⟨Scene 4⟩
Enter ⌜Francis and another⌝ Drawer.FRANCIS What the devil hast thou brought there—
applejohns? Thou knowest Sir John cannot endure
an applejohn.
⟨SECOND⟩ DRAWER Mass, thou sayst true. The Prince
5 once set a dish of applejohns before him and told
him there were five more Sir Johns and, putting off
his hat, said “I will now take my leave of these six
dry, round, old, withered knights.” It angered him
to the heart. But he hath forgot that.
FRANCIS 10Why then, cover and set them down, and see if
thou canst find out Sneak’s noise. Mistress Tearsheet
would fain hear some music. [Dispatch. The
room where they supped is too hot. They’ll come in
straight.
Enter Will.]
⌜WILL⌝ 15Sirrah, here will be the Prince and Master
Poins anon, and they will put on two of our jerkins
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ACT 2. SC. 4
Bardolph hath brought word.
⌜SECOND⌝ DRAWER By the Mass, here will be old utis. It
20 will be an excellent stratagem.
FRANCIS I’ll see if I can find out Sneak.
He exits ⌜with the Second Drawer.⌝
Enter ⟨Hostess⟩ and Doll Tearsheet.
HOSTESS I’ faith, sweetheart, methinks now you are in
an excellent good temperality. Your pulsidge beats
as extraordinarily as heart would desire, and your
25 color, I warrant you, is as red as any rose, in good
truth, la. But, i’ faith, you have drunk too much
canaries, and that’s a marvellous searching wine,
and it perfumes the blood ere one can say “What’s
this?” How do you now?
DOLL 30Better than I was. Hem.
HOSTESS Why, that’s well said. A good heart’s worth
gold. Lo, here comes Sir John.
Enter Sir John ⟨Falstaff.⟩
FALSTAFF, ⌜singing⌝
When Arthur first in court—
⌜To Will.⌝ Empty the jordan.⌜Will exits.⌝
35 And was a worthy king—
How now, Mistress Doll?
HOSTESS Sick of a calm, yea, good faith.
FALSTAFF So is all her sect. An they be once in a calm,
they are sick.
DOLL 40A pox damn you, you muddy rascal. Is that all the
comfort you give me?
FALSTAFF You make fat rascals, Mistress Doll.
DOLL I make them? Gluttony and diseases make ⟨them⟩;
I make them not.
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ACT 2. SC. 4
help to make the diseases, Doll. We catch of you,
Doll, we catch of you. Grant that, my poor virtue,
grant that.
DOLL Yea, joy, our chains and our jewels.
FALSTAFF 50Your brooches, pearls, and ouches—for to
serve bravely is to come halting off, you know; to
come off the breach with his pike bent bravely, and
to surgery bravely, to venture upon the charged
chambers bravely—
[DOLL 55Hang yourself, you muddy conger, hang yourself!]
HOSTESS By my troth, this is the old fashion. You two
never meet but you fall to some discord. You are
both, i’ good truth, as rheumatic as two dry toasts.
You cannot one bear with another’s confirmities.
60 What the good-year! One must bear, and ⌜to Doll⌝
that must be you. You are the weaker vessel, as they
say, the emptier vessel.
DOLL Can a weak empty vessel bear such a huge full
hogshead? There’s a whole merchant’s venture of
65 Bordeaux stuff in him. You have not seen a hulk
better stuffed in the hold.—Come, I’ll be friends
with thee, Jack. Thou art going to the wars, and
whether I shall ever see thee again or no, there is
nobody cares.
Enter Drawer.
DRAWER 70Sir, Ancient Pistol’s below and would speak
with you.
DOLL Hang him, swaggering rascal! Let him not come
hither. It is the foul-mouthed’st rogue in England.
HOSTESS If he swagger, let him not come here. No, by
75 my faith, I must live among my neighbors. I’ll no
swaggerers. I am in good name and fame with the
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ACT 2. SC. 4
here. I have not lived all this while to have
swaggering now. Shut the door, I pray you.
FALSTAFF 80Dost thou hear, hostess?
HOSTESS Pray you pacify yourself, Sir John. There
comes no swaggerers here.
FALSTAFF Dost thou hear? It is mine ancient.
HOSTESS Tilly-vally, Sir John, ne’er tell me. And your
85 ancient swaggerer comes not in my doors. I was
before Master Tisick the debuty t’ other day, and, as
he said to me—’twas no longer ago than Wednesday
last, i’ good faith—“Neighbor Quickly,” says
he—Master Dumb, our minister, was by then—
90 “Neighbor Quickly,” says he, “receive those that
are civil, for,” said he, “you are in an ill name.”
Now he said so, I can tell whereupon. “For,” says
he, “you are an honest woman, and well thought
on. Therefore take heed what guests you receive.
95 Receive,” says he, “no swaggering companions.”
There comes none here. You would bless you to
hear what he said. No, I’ll no swaggerers.
FALSTAFF He’s no swaggerer, hostess, a tame cheater, i’
faith. You may stroke him as gently as a puppy
100 greyhound. He’ll not swagger with a Barbary hen if
her feathers turn back in any show of resistance.—
Call him up, drawer.⌜Drawer exits.⌝
HOSTESS “Cheater” call you him? I will bar no honest
man my house, nor no cheater, but I do not love
105 swaggering. By my troth, I am the worse when one
says “swagger.” Feel, masters, how I shake; look
you, I warrant you.
DOLL So you do, hostess.
HOSTESS Do I? Yea, in very truth, do I, an ’twere an
110 aspen leaf. I cannot abide swaggerers.
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ACT 2. SC. 4
PISTOL God save you, Sir John.
FALSTAFF Welcome, Ancient Pistol. Here, Pistol, I
charge you with a cup of sack. Do you discharge
upon mine hostess.
PISTOL 115I will discharge upon her, Sir John, with two
bullets.
FALSTAFF She is pistol-proof. Sir, you shall not hardly
offend her.
HOSTESS Come, I’ll drink no proofs nor no bullets. I’ll
120 drink no more than will do me good, for no man’s
pleasure, I.
PISTOL Then, to you, Mistress Dorothy! I will charge
you.
DOLL Charge me? I scorn you, scurvy companion.
125 What, you poor, base, rascally, cheating lack-linen
mate! Away, you mouldy rogue, away! I am meat for
your master.
PISTOL I know you, Mistress Dorothy.
DOLL Away, you cutpurse rascal, you filthy bung, away!
130 By this wine, I’ll thrust my knife in your mouldy
chaps an you play the saucy cuttle with me. Away,
you bottle-ale rascal, you basket-hilt stale juggler,
you. Since when, I pray you, sir? God’s light, with
two points on your shoulder? Much!
PISTOL 135God let me not live but I will murder your ruff
for this.
[FALSTAFF No more, Pistol. I would not have you go off
here. Discharge yourself of our company, Pistol.]
HOSTESS No, good Captain Pistol, not here, sweet
140 captain!
DOLL Captain? Thou abominable damned cheater, art
thou not ashamed to be called captain? An captains
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ACT 2. SC. 4
taking their names upon you before you have
145 earned them. You a captain? You slave, for what?
For tearing a poor whore’s ruff in a bawdy house?
He a captain! Hang him, rogue. He lives upon
mouldy stewed prunes and dried cakes. A captain?
God’s light, these villains will make the word as
150 odious [as the word “occupy,” which was an excellent
good word before it was ill sorted.] Therefore
captains had need look to ’t.
BARDOLPH, ⌜to Pistol⌝ Pray thee go down, good ancient.
FALSTAFF Hark thee hither, Mistress Doll.
PISTOL, ⌜to Bardolph⌝ 155Not I. I tell thee what, Corporal
Bardolph, I could tear her. I’ll be revenged of her.
PAGE Pray thee go down.
PISTOL I’ll see her damned first to Pluto’s damnèd
lake, by this hand, to th’ infernal deep with Erebus
160 and tortures vile also. Hold hook and line, say I.
Down, down, dogs! Down, ⟨Fates!⟩ Have we not
Hiren here?⌜He draws his sword.⌝
HOSTESS Good Captain Peesell, be quiet. ’Tis very late,
i’ faith. I beseek you now, aggravate your choler.
PISTOL 165These be good humors indeed. Shall pack-horses
and hollow pampered jades of Asia, which
cannot go but thirty mile a day, compare with
Caesars and with cannibals and Troyant Greeks?
Nay, rather damn them with King Cerberus, and let
170 the welkin roar. Shall we fall foul for toys?
HOSTESS By my troth, captain, these are very bitter
words.
BARDOLPH Begone, good ancient. This will grow to a
brawl anon.
PISTOL 175⟨Die⟩ men like dogs! Give crowns like pins! Have
we not Hiren here?
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ACT 2. SC. 4
What the good-year, do you think I would deny her?
For God’s sake, be quiet.
PISTOL 180Then feed and be fat, my fair Calipolis. Come,
give ’s some sack. Si fortune me tormente, sperato
me contento. Fear we broadsides? No, let the fiend
give fire. Give me some sack, and, sweetheart, lie
thou there. ⌜Laying down his sword.⌝ Come we to
185 full points here? And are etceteras nothings?
FALSTAFF Pistol, I would be quiet.
PISTOL Sweet knight, I kiss thy neaf. What, we have
seen the seven stars.
DOLL For God’s sake, thrust him downstairs. I cannot
190 endure such a fustian rascal.
PISTOL “Thrust him downstairs”? Know we not Galloway
nags?
FALSTAFF Quoit him down, Bardolph, like a shove-groat
shilling. Nay, an he do nothing but speak
195 nothing, he shall be nothing here.
BARDOLPH Come, get you downstairs.
PISTOL, ⌜taking up his sword⌝ What, shall we have
incision? Shall we imbrue? Then death rock me
asleep, abridge my doleful days. Why then, let
200 grievous, ghastly, gaping wounds untwind the Sisters
Three. Come, Atropos, I say.
HOSTESS Here’s goodly stuff toward!
FALSTAFF Give me my rapier, boy.
DOLL I pray thee, Jack, I pray thee do not draw.
FALSTAFF, ⌜to Pistol⌝ 205Get you downstairs.⌜They fight.⌝
HOSTESS Here’s a goodly tumult. I’ll forswear keeping
house afore I’ll be in these tirrits and frights. So,
murder, I warrant now. Alas, alas, put up your
naked weapons, put up your naked weapons.
⌜Bardolph and Pistol exit.⌝
DOLL 210I pray thee, Jack, be quiet. The rascal’s gone. Ah,
you whoreson little valiant villain, you.
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ACT 2. SC. 4
Methought he made a shrewd thrust at your belly.
⌜Enter Bardolph.⌝
FALSTAFF Have you turned him out o’ doors?
BARDOLPH 215Yea, sir. The rascal’s drunk. You have hurt
him, sir, i’ th’ shoulder.
FALSTAFF A rascal to brave me!
DOLL Ah, you sweet little rogue, you. Alas, poor ape,
how thou sweat’st! Come, let me wipe thy face.
220 Come on, you whoreson chops. Ah, rogue, i’ faith, I
love thee. Thou art as valorous as Hector of Troy,
worth five of Agamemnon, and ten times better
than the Nine Worthies. Ah, villain!
FALSTAFF Ah, rascally slave! I will toss the rogue in a
225 blanket.
DOLL Do, an thou darest for thy heart. An thou dost, I’ll
canvass thee between a pair of sheets.
Enter ⌜Musicians and Francis.⌝
PAGE The music is come, sir.
FALSTAFF Let them play.—Play, sirs.—Sit on my knee,
230 Doll. A rascal bragging slave! The rogue fled from
me like quicksilver.
DOLL I’ faith, and thou followed’st him like a church.
Thou whoreson little tidy Bartholomew boar-pig,
when wilt thou leave fighting a-days and foining a-nights
235 and begin to patch up thine old body for
heaven?
Enter ⌜behind them⌝ Prince and Poins ⟨disguised.⟩
FALSTAFF Peace, good Doll. Do not speak like a death’s-head;
do not bid me remember mine end.
DOLL Sirrah, what humor’s the Prince of?
FALSTAFF 240A good shallow young fellow, he would have
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ACT 2. SC. 4
well.
DOLL They say Poins has a good wit.
FALSTAFF He a good wit? Hang him, baboon. His wit’s
245 as thick as Tewkesbury mustard. There’s no more
conceit in him than is in a mallet.
DOLL Why does the Prince love him so then?
FALSTAFF Because their legs are both of a bigness, and
he plays at quoits well, and eats conger and fennel,
250 and drinks off candles’ ends for flap-dragons, and
rides the wild mare with the boys, and jumps upon
joint stools, and swears with a good grace, and
wears his boots very smooth like unto the sign of
the Leg, and breeds no bate with telling of discreet
255 stories, and such other gambol faculties he has that
show a weak mind and an able body, for the which
the Prince admits him; for the Prince himself is
such another. The weight of a hair will turn ⟨the⟩
scales between their avoirdupois.
PRINCE, ⌜aside to Poins⌝ 260Would not this nave of a wheel
have his ears cut off?
POINS Let’s beat him before his whore.
PRINCE Look whe’er the withered elder hath not his
poll clawed like a parrot.
POINS 265Is it not strange that desire should so many years
outlive performance?
FALSTAFF Kiss me, Doll.
PRINCE, ⌜aside to Poins⌝ Saturn and Venus this year in
conjunction! What says th’ almanac to that?
POINS 270And look whether the fiery trigon, his man, be
not lisping to his ⟨master’s⟩ old tables, his notebook,
his counsel keeper.
FALSTAFF, ⌜to Doll⌝ Thou dost give me flattering busses.
DOLL By my troth, I kiss thee with a most constant
275 heart.
FALSTAFF I am old, I am old.
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ACT 2. SC. 4
boy of them all.
FALSTAFF What stuff wilt ⟨thou⟩ have a kirtle of? I shall
280 receive money o’ Thursday; ⟨thou⟩ shalt have a cap
tomorrow. A merry song! Come, it grows late. We’ll
to bed. Thou ’lt forget me when I am gone.
DOLL By my troth, thou ’lt set me a-weeping an thou
sayst so. Prove that ever I dress myself handsome till
285 thy return. Well, harken a’ th’ end.
FALSTAFF Some sack, Francis.
PRINCE, POINS, ⌜coming forward⌝ Anon, anon, sir.
FALSTAFF Ha? A bastard son of the King’s?—And art
not thou Poins his brother?
PRINCE 290Why, thou globe of sinful continents, what a
life dost thou lead?
FALSTAFF A better than thou. I am a gentleman. Thou
art a drawer.
PRINCE Very true, sir, and I come to draw you out by
295 the ears.
HOSTESS O, the Lord preserve thy ⟨good⟩ Grace! By my
troth, welcome to London. Now the Lord bless that
sweet face of thine. O Jesu, are you come from
Wales?
FALSTAFF, ⌜to Prince⌝ 300Thou whoreson mad compound
of majesty, by this light flesh and corrupt blood,
thou art welcome.
DOLL How? You fat fool, I scorn you.
POINS My lord, he will drive you out of your revenge
305 and turn all to a merriment if you take not the heat.
PRINCE, ⌜to Falstaff⌝ You whoreson candle-mine, you,
how vilely did you speak of me ⟨even⟩ now before
this honest, virtuous, civil gentlewoman!
HOSTESS God’s blessing of your good heart, and so she
310 is, by my troth.
FALSTAFF, ⌜to Prince⌝ Didst thou hear me?
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Henry IV, Part 2
ACT 2. SC. 4
away by Gad’s Hill. You knew I was at your back,
and spoke it on purpose to try my patience.
FALSTAFF 315No, no, no, not so. I did not think thou wast
within hearing.
PRINCE I shall drive you, then, to confess the wilfull
abuse, and then I know how to handle you.
FALSTAFF No abuse, Hal, o’ mine honor, no abuse.
PRINCE 320Not to dispraise me and call me pantler and
bread-chipper and I know not what?
FALSTAFF No abuse, Hal.
POINS No abuse?
FALSTAFF No abuse, Ned, i’ th’ world, honest Ned,
325 none. I dispraised him before the wicked, (⌜to
Prince⌝) that the wicked might not fall in love with
thee; in which doing, I have done the part of a
careful friend and a true subject, and thy father is to
give me thanks for it. No abuse, Hal.—None, Ned,
330 none. No, faith, boys, none.
PRINCE See now whether pure fear and entire cowardice
doth not make thee wrong this virtuous gentlewoman
to close with us. Is she of the wicked, is
thine hostess here of the wicked, or is thy boy of the
335 wicked, or honest Bardolph, whose zeal burns in
his nose, of the wicked?
POINS Answer, thou dead elm, answer.
FALSTAFF The fiend hath pricked down Bardolph irrecoverable,
and his face is Lucifer’s privy kitchen,
340 where he doth nothing but roast malt-worms. For
the boy, there is a good angel about him, but the
devil blinds him too.
PRINCE For the women?
FALSTAFF For one of them, she’s in hell already and
345 burns poor souls. For th’ other, I owe her money,
and whether she be damned for that I know not.
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ACT 2. SC. 4
FALSTAFF No, I think thou art not. I think thou art quit
for that. Marry, there is another indictment upon
350 thee for suffering flesh to be eaten in thy house
contrary to the law, for the which I think thou wilt
howl.
HOSTESS All vitlars do so. What’s a joint of mutton or
two in a whole Lent?
PRINCE, ⌜to Doll⌝ 355You, gentlewoman.
DOLL What says your Grace?
FALSTAFF His grace says that which his flesh rebels
against.
Peto knocks at door.
HOSTESS Who knocks so loud at door? Look to th’ door
360 there, Francis.⌜Francis exits.⌝
⟨Enter Peto.⟩
PRINCE Peto, how now, what news?
PETO
The King your father is at Westminster,
And there are twenty weak and wearied posts
Come from the north, and as I came along
365 I met and overtook a dozen captains,
Bareheaded, sweating, knocking at the taverns
And asking everyone for Sir John Falstaff.
PRINCE
By heaven, Poins, I feel me much to blame
So idly to profane the precious time
370 When tempest of commotion, like the south
Borne with black vapor, doth begin to melt
And drop upon our bare unarmèd heads.—
Give me my sword and cloak.—Falstaff, good
night.Prince, ⌜Peto,⌝ and Poins exit.
FALSTAFF 375Now comes in the sweetest morsel of the
night, and we must hence and leave it unpicked.
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ACT 2. SC. 4
door? (⌜Bardolph returns.⌝) How now, what’s the
matter?
BARDOLPH
380 You must away to court, sir, presently.
A dozen captains stay at door for you.
FALSTAFF, ⌜to Page⌝ Pay the musicians, sirrah.—
Farewell, hostess.—Farewell, Doll. You see, my
good wenches, how men of merit are sought after.
385 The undeserver may sleep when the man of action
is called on. Farewell, good wenches. If I be not sent
away post, I will see you again ere I go.
DOLL I cannot speak. If my heart be not ready to
burst—well, sweet Jack, have a care of thyself.
FALSTAFF 390Farewell, farewell.
He exits ⌜with Bardolph, Page, and Musicians.⌝
HOSTESS Well, fare thee well. I have known thee these
twenty-nine years, come peasecod time, but an
honester and truer-hearted man—well, fare thee
well.
BARDOLPH, ⌜within⌝ 395Mistress Tearsheet!
HOSTESS What’s the matter?
BARDOLPH, ⌜within⌝ Bid Mistress Tearsheet come to my
master.
HOSTESS O, run, Doll, run, run, good Doll. [Come.—
400 She comes blubbered.—Yea! Will you come, Doll?]
They exit.
