List iconHenry IV, Part 2List icon

Henry IV, Part 2
Act 2, scene 4

Synopsis:

Contents

Characters in the Play

Entire Play

Henry IV, Part 2, continues the story of Henry IV, Part I. Northumberland learns that his son Hotspur is dead, and…

Induction

Following the battle of Shrewsbury (where King Henry and Prince Hal were victorious and Hotspur killed), Rumor spreads the false…

Act 1, scene 1

Northumberland, who had pleaded illness as an excuse for not appearing at the battle of Shrewsbury, learns that his son,…

Act 1, scene 2

Sir John Falstaff is confronted by the Lord Chief Justice. Since Falstaff has come away from Shrewsbury with the reputation…

Act 1, scene 3

At York, the Archbishop discusses with Mowbray, Hastings, and Lord Bardolph whether they can defeat the king’s forces if their…

Act 2, scene 1

Sir John is arrested for the debt he owes Mistress Quickly. He persuades her to drop the charges and to…

Act 2, scene 2

Learning that Falstaff will be dining that night in Eastcheap, Prince Hal and Poins decide to disguise themselves as waiters…

Act 2, scene 3

Northumberland is persuaded by his daughter-in-law, Hotspur’s widow, to abandon the other rebels.

Act 2, scene 4

At Mistress Quickly’s inn in Eastcheap, a fight erupts after Falstaff ’s ensign, Pistol, insults Doll Tearsheet. The disguised Prince Hal…

Act 3, scene 1

An ill and anxious King Henry IV consults with Warwick.

Act 3, scene 2

On his journey through Gloucestershire, Falstaff selects recruits for the army and decides that, on his return, he will fleece…

Act 4, scene 1

The leaders of the rebellion reach Gaultree Forest, where they present their grievances to Westmoreland. After Prince John promises redress…

Act 4, scene 2

Falstaff meets a rebel knight, who surrenders to him. When Prince John reproaches Falstaff for his late arrival, Falstaff turns…

Act 4, scene 3

Just after receiving the good news about the defeat of all the rebel forces, Henry IV falls into a swoon….

Act 5, scene 1

Falstaff observes Shallow and his servants in order to be ready to entertain Prince Hal with amusing stories.

Act 5, scene 2

Prince Hal reassures an anxious Lord Chief Justice.

Act 5, scene 3

On the news of Henry IV’s death, Falstaff and Shallow set off joyfully for London.

Act 5, scene 4

Doll Tearsheet is arrested.

Act 5, scene 5

The newly crowned King Henry V keeps his word to the Lord Chief Justice.

Epilogue

The speaker apologizes for the play and promises another play with Falstaff in it.

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Scene 4
Enter Francis and another Drawer.

FRANCIS What the devil hast thou brought there—
 applejohns? Thou knowest Sir John cannot endure
 an applejohn.
SECOND DRAWER Mass, thou sayst true. The Prince
5 once set a dish of applejohns before him and told
 him there were five more Sir Johns and, putting off
 his hat, said “I will now take my leave of these six
 dry, round, old, withered knights.” It angered him
 to the heart. But he hath forgot that.
FRANCIS 10Why then, cover and set them down, and see if
 thou canst find out Sneak’s noise. Mistress Tearsheet
 would fain hear some music. [Dispatch. The
 room where they supped is too hot. They’ll come in
 straight.

Enter Will.]

WILL 15Sirrah, here will be the Prince and Master
 Poins anon, and they will put on two of our jerkins

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ACT 2. SC. 4

 and aprons, and Sir John must not know of it.
 Bardolph hath brought word.
SECOND DRAWER By the Mass, here will be old utis. It
20 will be an excellent stratagem.
FRANCIS I’ll see if I can find out Sneak.
He exits with the Second Drawer.

Enter Hostess and Doll Tearsheet.

HOSTESS I’ faith, sweetheart, methinks now you are in
 an excellent good temperality. Your pulsidge beats
 as extraordinarily as heart would desire, and your
25 color, I warrant you, is as red as any rose, in good
 truth, la. But, i’ faith, you have drunk too much
 canaries, and that’s a marvellous searching wine,
 and it perfumes the blood ere one can say “What’s
 this?” How do you now?
DOLL 30Better than I was. Hem.
HOSTESS Why, that’s well said. A good heart’s worth
 gold. Lo, here comes Sir John.

Enter Sir John Falstaff.

FALSTAFF, singing 
  When Arthur first in court—
 To Will. Empty the jordan.Will exits.
35  And was a worthy king—
 How now, Mistress Doll?
HOSTESS Sick of a calm, yea, good faith.
FALSTAFF So is all her sect. An they be once in a calm,
 they are sick.
DOLL 40A pox damn you, you muddy rascal. Is that all the
 comfort you give me?
FALSTAFF You make fat rascals, Mistress Doll.
DOLL I make them? Gluttony and diseases make them;
 I make them not.

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ACT 2. SC. 4

FALSTAFF 45If the cook help to make the gluttony, you
 help to make the diseases, Doll. We catch of you,
 Doll, we catch of you. Grant that, my poor virtue,
 grant that.
DOLL Yea, joy, our chains and our jewels.
FALSTAFF 50Your brooches, pearls, and ouches—for to
 serve bravely is to come halting off, you know; to
 come off the breach with his pike bent bravely, and
 to surgery bravely, to venture upon the charged
 chambers bravely—
[DOLL 55Hang yourself, you muddy conger, hang yourself!]
HOSTESS By my troth, this is the old fashion. You two
 never meet but you fall to some discord. You are
 both, i’ good truth, as rheumatic as two dry toasts.
 You cannot one bear with another’s confirmities.
60 What the good-year! One must bear, and to Doll
 that must be you. You are the weaker vessel, as they
 say, the emptier vessel.
DOLL Can a weak empty vessel bear such a huge full
 hogshead? There’s a whole merchant’s venture of
65 Bordeaux stuff in him. You have not seen a hulk
 better stuffed in the hold.—Come, I’ll be friends
 with thee, Jack. Thou art going to the wars, and
 whether I shall ever see thee again or no, there is
 nobody cares.

Enter Drawer.

DRAWER 70Sir, Ancient Pistol’s below and would speak
 with you.
DOLL Hang him, swaggering rascal! Let him not come
 hither. It is the foul-mouthed’st rogue in England.
HOSTESS If he swagger, let him not come here. No, by
75 my faith, I must live among my neighbors. I’ll no
 swaggerers. I am in good name and fame with the

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ACT 2. SC. 4

 very best. Shut the door. There comes no swaggerers
 here. I have not lived all this while to have
 swaggering now. Shut the door, I pray you.
FALSTAFF 80Dost thou hear, hostess?
HOSTESS Pray you pacify yourself, Sir John. There
 comes no swaggerers here.
FALSTAFF Dost thou hear? It is mine ancient.
HOSTESS Tilly-vally, Sir John, ne’er tell me. And your
85 ancient swaggerer comes not in my doors. I was
 before Master Tisick the debuty t’ other day, and, as
 he said to me—’twas no longer ago than Wednesday
 last, i’ good faith—“Neighbor Quickly,” says
 he—Master Dumb, our minister, was by then—
90 “Neighbor Quickly,” says he, “receive those that
 are civil, for,” said he, “you are in an ill name.”
 Now he said so, I can tell whereupon. “For,” says
 he, “you are an honest woman, and well thought
 on. Therefore take heed what guests you receive.
95 Receive,” says he, “no swaggering companions.”
 There comes none here. You would bless you to
 hear what he said. No, I’ll no swaggerers.
FALSTAFF He’s no swaggerer, hostess, a tame cheater, i’
 faith. You may stroke him as gently as a puppy
100 greyhound. He’ll not swagger with a Barbary hen if
 her feathers turn back in any show of resistance.—
 Call him up, drawer.Drawer exits.
HOSTESS “Cheater” call you him? I will bar no honest
 man my house, nor no cheater, but I do not love
105 swaggering. By my troth, I am the worse when one
 says “swagger.” Feel, masters, how I shake; look
 you, I warrant you.
DOLL So you do, hostess.
HOSTESS Do I? Yea, in very truth, do I, an ’twere an
110 aspen leaf. I cannot abide swaggerers.

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ACT 2. SC. 4

Enter Ancient Pistol, Bardolph, and Page.

PISTOL God save you, Sir John.
FALSTAFF Welcome, Ancient Pistol. Here, Pistol, I
 charge you with a cup of sack. Do you discharge
 upon mine hostess.
PISTOL 115I will discharge upon her, Sir John, with two
 bullets.
FALSTAFF She is pistol-proof. Sir, you shall not hardly
 offend her.
HOSTESS Come, I’ll drink no proofs nor no bullets. I’ll
120 drink no more than will do me good, for no man’s
 pleasure, I.
PISTOL Then, to you, Mistress Dorothy! I will charge
 you.
DOLL Charge me? I scorn you, scurvy companion.
125 What, you poor, base, rascally, cheating lack-linen
 mate! Away, you mouldy rogue, away! I am meat for
 your master.
PISTOL I know you, Mistress Dorothy.
DOLL Away, you cutpurse rascal, you filthy bung, away!
130 By this wine, I’ll thrust my knife in your mouldy
 chaps an you play the saucy cuttle with me. Away,
 you bottle-ale rascal, you basket-hilt stale juggler,
 you. Since when, I pray you, sir? God’s light, with
 two points on your shoulder? Much!
PISTOL 135God let me not live but I will murder your ruff
 for this.
[FALSTAFF No more, Pistol. I would not have you go off
 here. Discharge yourself of our company, Pistol.]
HOSTESS No, good Captain Pistol, not here, sweet
140 captain!
DOLL Captain? Thou abominable damned cheater, art
 thou not ashamed to be called captain? An captains

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ACT 2. SC. 4

 were of my mind, they would truncheon you out for
 taking their names upon you before you have
145 earned them. You a captain? You slave, for what?
 For tearing a poor whore’s ruff in a bawdy house?
 He a captain! Hang him, rogue. He lives upon
 mouldy stewed prunes and dried cakes. A captain?
 God’s light, these villains will make the word as
150 odious [as the word “occupy,” which was an excellent
 good word before it was ill sorted.] Therefore
 captains had need look to ’t.
BARDOLPH, to Pistol Pray thee go down, good ancient.
FALSTAFF Hark thee hither, Mistress Doll.
PISTOL, to Bardolph 155Not I. I tell thee what, Corporal
 Bardolph, I could tear her. I’ll be revenged of her.
PAGE Pray thee go down.
PISTOL I’ll see her damned first to Pluto’s damnèd
 lake, by this hand, to th’ infernal deep with Erebus
160 and tortures vile also. Hold hook and line, say I.
 Down, down, dogs! Down, Fates! Have we not
 Hiren here?He draws his sword.
HOSTESS Good Captain Peesell, be quiet. ’Tis very late,
 i’ faith. I beseek you now, aggravate your choler.
PISTOL 165These be good humors indeed. Shall pack-horses
 and hollow pampered jades of Asia, which
 cannot go but thirty mile a day, compare with
 Caesars and with cannibals and Troyant Greeks?
 Nay, rather damn them with King Cerberus, and let
170 the welkin roar. Shall we fall foul for toys?
HOSTESS By my troth, captain, these are very bitter
 words.
BARDOLPH Begone, good ancient. This will grow to a
 brawl anon.
PISTOL 175Die men like dogs! Give crowns like pins! Have
 we not Hiren here?

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ACT 2. SC. 4

HOSTESS O’ my word, captain, there’s none such here.
 What the good-year, do you think I would deny her?
 For God’s sake, be quiet.
PISTOL 180Then feed and be fat, my fair Calipolis. Come,
 give ’s some sack. Si fortune me tormente, sperato
 me contento.
 Fear we broadsides? No, let the fiend
 give fire. Give me some sack, and, sweetheart, lie
 thou there. Laying down his sword. Come we to
185 full points here? And are etceteras nothings?
FALSTAFF Pistol, I would be quiet.
PISTOL Sweet knight, I kiss thy neaf. What, we have
 seen the seven stars.
DOLL For God’s sake, thrust him downstairs. I cannot
190 endure such a fustian rascal.
PISTOL “Thrust him downstairs”? Know we not Galloway
 nags?
FALSTAFF Quoit him down, Bardolph, like a shove-groat
 shilling. Nay, an he do nothing but speak
195 nothing, he shall be nothing here.
BARDOLPH Come, get you downstairs.
PISTOL, taking up his sword What, shall we have
 incision? Shall we imbrue? Then death rock me
 asleep, abridge my doleful days. Why then, let
200 grievous, ghastly, gaping wounds untwind the Sisters
 Three. Come, Atropos, I say.
HOSTESS Here’s goodly stuff toward!
FALSTAFF Give me my rapier, boy.
DOLL I pray thee, Jack, I pray thee do not draw.
FALSTAFF, to Pistol 205Get you downstairs.They fight.
HOSTESS Here’s a goodly tumult. I’ll forswear keeping
 house afore I’ll be in these tirrits and frights. So,
 murder, I warrant now. Alas, alas, put up your
 naked weapons, put up your naked weapons.
Bardolph and Pistol exit.
DOLL 210I pray thee, Jack, be quiet. The rascal’s gone. Ah,
 you whoreson little valiant villain, you.

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Henry IV, Part 2
ACT 2. SC. 4

HOSTESS, to Falstaff Are you not hurt i’ th’ groin?
 Methought he made a shrewd thrust at your belly.

Enter Bardolph.

FALSTAFF Have you turned him out o’ doors?
BARDOLPH 215Yea, sir. The rascal’s drunk. You have hurt
 him, sir, i’ th’ shoulder.
FALSTAFF A rascal to brave me!
DOLL Ah, you sweet little rogue, you. Alas, poor ape,
 how thou sweat’st! Come, let me wipe thy face.
220 Come on, you whoreson chops. Ah, rogue, i’ faith, I
 love thee. Thou art as valorous as Hector of Troy,
 worth five of Agamemnon, and ten times better
 than the Nine Worthies. Ah, villain!
FALSTAFF Ah, rascally slave! I will toss the rogue in a
225 blanket.
DOLL Do, an thou darest for thy heart. An thou dost, I’ll
 canvass thee between a pair of sheets.

Enter Musicians and Francis.

PAGE The music is come, sir.
FALSTAFF Let them play.—Play, sirs.—Sit on my knee,
230 Doll. A rascal bragging slave! The rogue fled from
 me like quicksilver.
DOLL I’ faith, and thou followed’st him like a church.
 Thou whoreson little tidy Bartholomew boar-pig,
 when wilt thou leave fighting a-days and foining a-nights
235 and begin to patch up thine old body for
 heaven?

Enter behind them Prince and Poins disguised.

FALSTAFF Peace, good Doll. Do not speak like a death’s-head;
 do not bid me remember mine end.
DOLL Sirrah, what humor’s the Prince of?
FALSTAFF 240A good shallow young fellow, he would have

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ACT 2. SC. 4

 made a good pantler; he would ’a chipped bread
 well.
DOLL They say Poins has a good wit.
FALSTAFF He a good wit? Hang him, baboon. His wit’s
245 as thick as Tewkesbury mustard. There’s no more
 conceit in him than is in a mallet.
DOLL Why does the Prince love him so then?
FALSTAFF Because their legs are both of a bigness, and
 he plays at quoits well, and eats conger and fennel,
250 and drinks off candles’ ends for flap-dragons, and
 rides the wild mare with the boys, and jumps upon
 joint stools, and swears with a good grace, and
 wears his boots very smooth like unto the sign of
 the Leg, and breeds no bate with telling of discreet
255 stories, and such other gambol faculties he has that
 show a weak mind and an able body, for the which
 the Prince admits him; for the Prince himself is
 such another. The weight of a hair will turn the
 scales between their avoirdupois.
PRINCE, aside to Poins 260Would not this nave of a wheel
 have his ears cut off?
POINS Let’s beat him before his whore.
PRINCE Look whe’er the withered elder hath not his
 poll clawed like a parrot.
POINS 265Is it not strange that desire should so many years
 outlive performance?
FALSTAFF Kiss me, Doll.
PRINCE, aside to Poins Saturn and Venus this year in
 conjunction! What says th’ almanac to that?
POINS 270And look whether the fiery trigon, his man, be
 not lisping to his master’s old tables, his notebook,
 his counsel keeper.
FALSTAFF, to Doll Thou dost give me flattering busses.
DOLL By my troth, I kiss thee with a most constant
275 heart.
FALSTAFF I am old, I am old.

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ACT 2. SC. 4

DOLL I love thee better than I love e’er a scurvy young
 boy of them all.
FALSTAFF What stuff wilt thou have a kirtle of? I shall
280 receive money o’ Thursday; thou shalt have a cap
 tomorrow. A merry song! Come, it grows late. We’ll
 to bed. Thou ’lt forget me when I am gone.
DOLL By my troth, thou ’lt set me a-weeping an thou
 sayst so. Prove that ever I dress myself handsome till
285 thy return. Well, harken a’ th’ end.
FALSTAFF Some sack, Francis.
PRINCE, POINS, coming forward Anon, anon, sir.
FALSTAFF Ha? A bastard son of the King’s?—And art
 not thou Poins his brother?
PRINCE 290Why, thou globe of sinful continents, what a
 life dost thou lead?
FALSTAFF A better than thou. I am a gentleman. Thou
 art a drawer.
PRINCE Very true, sir, and I come to draw you out by
295 the ears.
HOSTESS O, the Lord preserve thy good Grace! By my
 troth, welcome to London. Now the Lord bless that
 sweet face of thine. O Jesu, are you come from
 Wales?
FALSTAFF, to Prince 300Thou whoreson mad compound
 of majesty, by this light flesh and corrupt blood,
 thou art welcome.
DOLL How? You fat fool, I scorn you.
POINS My lord, he will drive you out of your revenge
305 and turn all to a merriment if you take not the heat.
PRINCE, to Falstaff You whoreson candle-mine, you,
 how vilely did you speak of me even now before
 this honest, virtuous, civil gentlewoman!
HOSTESS God’s blessing of your good heart, and so she
310 is, by my troth.
FALSTAFF, to Prince Didst thou hear me?

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ACT 2. SC. 4

PRINCE Yea, and you knew me as you did when you ran
 away by Gad’s Hill. You knew I was at your back,
 and spoke it on purpose to try my patience.
FALSTAFF 315No, no, no, not so. I did not think thou wast
 within hearing.
PRINCE I shall drive you, then, to confess the wilfull
 abuse, and then I know how to handle you.
FALSTAFF No abuse, Hal, o’ mine honor, no abuse.
PRINCE 320Not to dispraise me and call me pantler and
 bread-chipper and I know not what?
FALSTAFF No abuse, Hal.
POINS No abuse?
FALSTAFF No abuse, Ned, i’ th’ world, honest Ned,
325 none. I dispraised him before the wicked, (to
 Prince) 
that the wicked might not fall in love with
 thee; in which doing, I have done the part of a
 careful friend and a true subject, and thy father is to
 give me thanks for it. No abuse, Hal.—None, Ned,
330 none. No, faith, boys, none.
PRINCE See now whether pure fear and entire cowardice
 doth not make thee wrong this virtuous gentlewoman
 to close with us. Is she of the wicked, is
 thine hostess here of the wicked, or is thy boy of the
335 wicked, or honest Bardolph, whose zeal burns in
 his nose, of the wicked?
POINS Answer, thou dead elm, answer.
FALSTAFF The fiend hath pricked down Bardolph irrecoverable,
 and his face is Lucifer’s privy kitchen,
340 where he doth nothing but roast malt-worms. For
 the boy, there is a good angel about him, but the
 devil blinds him too.
PRINCE For the women?
FALSTAFF For one of them, she’s in hell already and
345 burns poor souls. For th’ other, I owe her money,
 and whether she be damned for that I know not.

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ACT 2. SC. 4

HOSTESS No, I warrant you.
FALSTAFF No, I think thou art not. I think thou art quit
 for that. Marry, there is another indictment upon
350 thee for suffering flesh to be eaten in thy house
 contrary to the law, for the which I think thou wilt
 howl.
HOSTESS All vitlars do so. What’s a joint of mutton or
 two in a whole Lent?
PRINCE, to Doll 355You, gentlewoman.
DOLL What says your Grace?
FALSTAFF His grace says that which his flesh rebels
 against.
Peto knocks at door.
HOSTESS Who knocks so loud at door? Look to th’ door
360 there, Francis.Francis exits.

Enter Peto.

PRINCE Peto, how now, what news?
PETO 
 The King your father is at Westminster,
 And there are twenty weak and wearied posts
 Come from the north, and as I came along
365 I met and overtook a dozen captains,
 Bareheaded, sweating, knocking at the taverns
 And asking everyone for Sir John Falstaff.
PRINCE 
 By heaven, Poins, I feel me much to blame
 So idly to profane the precious time
370 When tempest of commotion, like the south
 Borne with black vapor, doth begin to melt
 And drop upon our bare unarmèd heads.—
 Give me my sword and cloak.—Falstaff, good
 night.Prince, Peto, and Poins exit.
FALSTAFF 375Now comes in the sweetest morsel of the
 night, and we must hence and leave it unpicked.

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ACT 2. SC. 4

 (Knocking. Bardolph exits.) More knocking at the
 door? (Bardolph returns.) How now, what’s the
 matter?
BARDOLPH 
380 You must away to court, sir, presently.
 A dozen captains stay at door for you.
FALSTAFF, to Page Pay the musicians, sirrah.—
 Farewell, hostess.—Farewell, Doll. You see, my
 good wenches, how men of merit are sought after.
385 The undeserver may sleep when the man of action
 is called on. Farewell, good wenches. If I be not sent
 away post, I will see you again ere I go.
DOLL I cannot speak. If my heart be not ready to
 burst—well, sweet Jack, have a care of thyself.
FALSTAFF 390Farewell, farewell.
He exits with Bardolph, Page, and Musicians.
HOSTESS Well, fare thee well. I have known thee these
 twenty-nine years, come peasecod time, but an
 honester and truer-hearted man—well, fare thee
 well.
BARDOLPH, within 395Mistress Tearsheet!
HOSTESS What’s the matter?
BARDOLPH, within Bid Mistress Tearsheet come to my
 master.
HOSTESS O, run, Doll, run, run, good Doll. [Come.—
400 She comes blubbered.—Yea! Will you come, Doll?]
They exit.