Synopsis:
Falstaff tries to swindle the Hostess of the inn. Prince Hal offers Falstaff a command in the infantry.
Henry IV, Part 1: Act 3, scene 3
Henry IV, Part 1
Contents
Characters in the Play
Entire Play
Henry IV, Part 1, culminates in the battle of Shrewsbury between the king’s army and rebels seeking his crown. The…
Act 1, scene 1
King Henry meets with his advisers to discuss his proposed crusade to the Holy Land, but the discussion turns instead…
Act 1, scene 2
Prince Hal and Sir John Falstaff taunt each other, Hal warning Falstaff that he will one day be hanged as…
Act 1, scene 3
King Henry meets with Hotspur, Hotspur’s father (Northumberland), and his uncle (Worcester) to demand that Hotspur yield his prisoners to…
Act 2, scene 1
Gadshill, the “setter” for Falstaff and his fellow thieves, seeks information at an inn about the travelers whom they plan…
Act 2, scene 2
Falstaff, Peto, Bardolph, and Gadshill rob the travelers and are, in turn, robbed by Prince Hal and Poins in disguise.
Act 2, scene 3
Hotspur reads a letter from a nobleman who refuses to join the rebellion against King Henry. Lady Percy enters to…
Act 2, scene 4
At a tavern in Eastcheap, Prince Hal and Poins amuse themselves by tormenting a young waiter while waiting for Falstaff…
Act 3, scene 1
Hotspur, Worcester, Mortimer, and the leader of the Welsh rebels, Glendower, meet in Wales to make final the terms of…
Act 3, scene 2
Prince Hal reconciles himself with his father by swearing to fight the rebels and to defeat Hotspur.
Act 3, scene 3
Falstaff tries to swindle the Hostess of the inn. Prince Hal offers Falstaff a command in the infantry.
Act 4, scene 1
Hotspur, Worcester, and Douglas learn that Hotspur’s father, Northumberland, is too sick to join them in the coming battle. They…
Act 4, scene 2
Falstaff discloses to the audience how he has misused his commission as an officer to take money from men eager…
Act 4, scene 3
As Hotspur argues with his fellow commanders about when to fight, they are visited by Sir Walter Blunt, who brings…
Act 4, scene 4
The archbishop of York and Sir Michael, who sympathize with Hotspur, debate the chances of his success against the king’s…
Act 5, scene 1
Worcester and Vernon visit the king’s camp, where Worcester repeats the grievances that he says have led to the rebellion….
Act 5, scene 2
Worcester lies to Hotspur, telling him that the king made no offer of pardon and is ready to begin the…
Act 5, scene 3
The battle begins. Douglas kills Blunt, who is disguised as King Henry. Falstaff enters alone to disclose to the audience…
Act 5, scene 4
Prince Hal saves King Henry from death at the hands of Douglas. Hal then meets Hotspur. While they are fighting,…
Act 5, scene 5
The king’s forces having won, King Henry condemns Worcester and Vernon to death, and the king and his supporters prepare…
⌜Scene 3⌝
Enter Falstaff and Bardolph.FALSTAFF Bardolph, am I not fallen away vilely since
this last action? Do I not bate? Do I not dwindle?
Why, my skin hangs about me like an old lady’s
loose gown. I am withered like an old applejohn.
5 Well, I’ll repent, and that suddenly, while I am in
some liking. I shall be out of heart shortly, and then
I shall have no strength to repent. An I have not
forgotten what the inside of a church is made of, I
am a peppercorn, a brewer’s horse. The inside of a
10 church! Company, villainous company, hath been
the spoil of me.
BARDOLPH Sir John, you are so fretful you cannot live
long.
FALSTAFF Why, there is it. Come, sing me a bawdy
15 song, make me merry. I was as virtuously given as a
gentleman need to be, virtuous enough: swore
little; diced not above seven times—a week; went to
a bawdy house not above once in a quarter—of an
hour; paid money that I borrowed—three or four
20 times; lived well and in good compass; and now I
live out of all order, out of all compass.
BARDOLPH Why, you are so fat, Sir John, that you must
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Henry IV, Part I
ACT 3. SC. 3
compass, Sir John.
FALSTAFF 25Do thou amend thy face, and I’ll amend my
life. Thou art our admiral, thou bearest the lantern
in the poop, but ’tis in the nose of thee. Thou art the
Knight of the Burning Lamp.
BARDOLPH Why, Sir John, my face does you no harm.
FALSTAFF 30No, I’ll be sworn, I make as good use of it as
many a man doth of a death’s-head or a memento
mori. I never see thy face but I think upon hellfire
and Dives that lived in purple, for there he is in his
robes, burning, burning. If thou wert any way given
35 to virtue, I would swear by thy face. My oath should
be “By this fire, ⌜that’s⌝ God’s angel.” But thou art
altogether given over, and wert indeed, but for the
light in thy face, the son of utter darkness. When
thou ran’st up Gad’s Hill in the night to catch my
40 horse, if I did not think thou hadst been an ignis
fatuus, or a ball of wildfire, there’s no purchase in
money. O, thou art a perpetual triumph, an everlasting
bonfire-light. Thou hast saved me a thousand
marks in links and torches, walking with thee in the
45 night betwixt tavern and tavern, but the sack that
thou hast drunk me would have bought me lights as
good cheap at the dearest chandler’s in Europe. I
have maintained that salamander of yours with fire
any time this two-and-thirty years, God reward me
50 for it.
BARDOLPH ’Sblood, I would my face were in your
belly!
FALSTAFF Godamercy, so should I be sure to be
heartburned!
Enter Hostess.
55 How now, Dame Partlet the hen, have you enquired
yet who picked my pocket?
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Henry IV, Part I
ACT 3. SC. 3
do you think I keep thieves in my house? I have
searched, I have enquired, so has my husband,
60 man by man, boy by boy, servant by servant.
The ⌜tithe⌝ of a hair was never lost in my house
before.
FALSTAFF You lie, hostess. Bardolph was shaved and
lost many a hair, and I’ll be sworn my pocket was
65 picked. Go to, you are a woman, go.
HOSTESS Who, I? No, I defy thee! God’s light, I was
never called so in mine own house before.
FALSTAFF Go to, I know you well enough.
HOSTESS No, Sir John, you do not know me, Sir John. I
70 know you, Sir John. You owe me money, Sir John,
and now you pick a quarrel to beguile me of it. I
bought you a dozen of shirts to your back.
FALSTAFF Dowlas, filthy dowlas. I have given them
away to bakers’ wives; they have made bolters of
75 them.
HOSTESS Now, as I am a true woman, holland of eight
shillings an ell. You owe money here besides, Sir
John, for your diet and by-drinkings and money
lent you, four-and-twenty pound.
FALSTAFF80, ⌜pointing to Bardolph⌝ He had his part of it.
Let him pay.
HOSTESS He? Alas, he is poor. He hath nothing.
FALSTAFF How, poor? Look upon his face. What call
you rich? Let them coin his nose. Let them coin his
85 cheeks. I’ll not pay a denier. What, will you make a
younker of me? Shall I not take mine ease in mine
inn but I shall have my pocket picked? I have lost a
seal ring of my grandfather’s worth forty mark.
HOSTESS, ⌜to Bardolph⌝ O Jesu, I have heard the Prince
90 tell him, I know not how oft, that that ring was
copper.
FALSTAFF How? The Prince is a jack, a sneak-up.
147
Henry IV, Part I
ACT 3. SC. 3
dog if he would say so.
Enter the Prince marching, ⌜with Peto,⌝ and Falstaff
meets him playing upon his truncheon like a fife.
95 How now, lad, is the wind in that door, i’ faith? Must
we all march?
BARDOLPH Yea, two and two, Newgate fashion.
HOSTESS, ⌜to Prince⌝ My lord, I pray you, hear me.
PRINCE What say’st thou, Mistress Quickly? How doth
100 thy husband? I love him well; he is an honest man.
HOSTESS Good my lord, hear me.
FALSTAFF Prithee, let her alone, and list to me.
PRINCE What say’st thou, Jack?
FALSTAFF The other night I fell asleep here, behind the
105 arras, and had my pocket picked. This house is
turned bawdy house; they pick pockets.
PRINCE What didst thou lose, Jack?
FALSTAFF Wilt thou believe me, Hal, three or four
bonds of forty pound apiece, and a seal ring of my
110 grandfather’s.
PRINCE A trifle, some eightpenny matter.
HOSTESS So I told him, my lord, and I said I heard
your Grace say so. And, my lord, he speaks most
vilely of you, like a foul-mouthed man, as he is, and
115 said he would cudgel you.
PRINCE What, he did not!
HOSTESS There’s neither faith, truth, nor womanhood
in me else.
FALSTAFF There’s no more faith in thee than in a
120 stewed prune, nor no more truth in thee than in a
drawn fox, and for womanhood, Maid Marian may
be the deputy’s wife of the ward to thee. Go, you
thing, go.
HOSTESS Say, what thing, what thing?
FALSTAFF 125What thing? Why, a thing to thank God on.
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Henry IV, Part I
ACT 3. SC. 3
shouldst know it! I am an honest man’s wife, and,
setting thy knighthood aside, thou art a knave to
call me so.
FALSTAFF 130Setting thy womanhood aside, thou art a
beast to say otherwise.
HOSTESS Say, what beast, thou knave, thou?
FALSTAFF What beast? Why, an otter.
PRINCE An otter, Sir John. Why an otter?
FALSTAFF 135Why, she’s neither fish nor flesh; a man
knows not where to have her.
HOSTESS Thou art an unjust man in saying so. Thou or
any man knows where to have me, thou knave,
thou.
PRINCE 140Thou sayst true, hostess, and he slanders thee
most grossly.
HOSTESS So he doth you, my lord, and said this other
day you owed him a thousand pound.
PRINCE Sirrah, do I owe you a thousand pound?
FALSTAFF 145A thousand pound, Hal? A million. Thy love is
worth a million; thou owest me thy love.
HOSTESS Nay, my lord, he called you “jack,” and said
he would cudgel you.
FALSTAFF Did I, Bardolph?
BARDOLPH 150Indeed, Sir John, you said so.
FALSTAFF Yea, if he said my ring was copper.
PRINCE I say ’tis copper. Darest thou be as good as thy
word now?
FALSTAFF Why, Hal, thou knowest, as thou art but
155 man, I dare, but as thou art prince, I fear thee as I
fear the roaring of the lion’s whelp.
PRINCE And why not as the lion?
FALSTAFF The King himself is to be feared as the lion.
Dost thou think I’ll fear thee as I fear thy father?
160 Nay, an I do, I pray God my girdle break.
PRINCE O, if it should, how would thy guts fall about
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Henry IV, Part I
ACT 3. SC. 3
truth, nor honesty in this bosom of thine. It is all
filled up with guts and midriff. Charge an honest
165 woman with picking thy pocket? Why, thou whoreson,
impudent, embossed rascal, if there were
anything in thy pocket but tavern reckonings,
memorandums of bawdy houses, and one poor
pennyworth of sugar candy to make thee long-winded,
170 if thy pocket were enriched with any other
injuries but these, I am a villain. And yet you will
stand to it! You will not pocket up wrong! Art thou
not ashamed?
FALSTAFF Dost thou hear, Hal? Thou knowest in the
175 state of innocency Adam fell, and what should poor
Jack Falstaff do in the days of villainy? Thou seest I
have more flesh than another man and therefore
more frailty. You confess, then, you picked my
pocket.
PRINCE 180It appears so by the story.
FALSTAFF Hostess, I forgive thee. Go make ready
breakfast, love thy husband, look to thy servants,
cherish thy ⌜guests.⌝ Thou shalt find me tractable
to any honest reason. Thou seest I am pacified still.
185 Nay, prithee, begone. (Hostess exits.) Now, Hal, to
the news at court. For the robbery, lad, how is that
answered?
PRINCE O, my sweet beef, I must still be good angel to
thee. The money is paid back again.
FALSTAFF 190O, I do not like that paying back. ’Tis a double
labor.
PRINCE I am good friends with my father and may do
anything.
FALSTAFF Rob me the Exchequer the first thing thou
195 dost, and do it with unwashed hands too.
BARDOLPH Do, my lord.
PRINCE I have procured thee, Jack, a charge of foot.
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Henry IV, Part I
ACT 3. SC. 3
find one that can steal well? O, for a fine thief of
200 the age of two-and-twenty or thereabouts! I am heinously
unprovided. Well, God be thanked for these
rebels. They offend none but the virtuous. I laud
them; I praise them.
PRINCE Bardolph.
BARDOLPH 205My lord.
PRINCE , ⌜handing Bardolph papers⌝
Go, bear this letter to Lord John of Lancaster,
To my brother John; this to my Lord of
Westmoreland. ⌜Bardolph exits.⌝
Go, Peto, to horse, to horse, for thou and I
210 Have thirty miles to ride yet ere dinner time.
⌜Peto exits.⌝
Jack, meet me tomorrow in the Temple hall
At two o’clock in the afternoon;
There shalt thou know thy charge, and there receive
Money and order for their furniture.
215 The land is burning. Percy stands on high,
And either we or they must lower lie. ⌜He exits.⌝
FALSTAFF
Rare words, brave world!—Hostess, my breakfast,
come.—
O, I could wish this tavern were my drum.
⌜He exits.⌝
