Enter Hotspur, Worcester, Lord Mortimer, ⌜and⌝ Owen
Glendower.MORTIMER These promises are fair, the parties sure, And our induction full of prosperous hope.HOTSPUR Lord Mortimer and cousin Glendower, Will you sit down? And uncle Worcester—5 A plague upon it, I have forgot the map.GLENDOWER No, here it is. Sit, cousin Percy, Sit, good cousin Hotspur, for by that name As oft as Lancaster doth speak of you His cheek looks pale, and with a rising sigh10 He wisheth you in heaven.HOTSPUR And you in hell, As oft as he hears Owen Glendower spoke of.GLENDOWER I cannot blame him. At my nativity The front of heaven was full of fiery shapes,15 Of burning cressets, and at my birth The frame and huge foundation of the Earth Shaked like a coward.HOTSPUR Why, so it would have done
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At the same season if your mother’s cat20 Had but kittened, though yourself had never been born.GLENDOWER I say the Earth did shake when I was born.HOTSPUR And I say the Earth was not of my mind, If you suppose as fearing you it shook.GLENDOWER 25 The heavens were all on fire; the Earth did tremble.HOTSPUR O, then the Earth shook to see the heavens on fire, And not in fear of your nativity. Diseasèd nature oftentimes breaks forth In strange eruptions; oft the teeming Earth30 Is with a kind of colic pinched and vexed By the imprisoning of unruly wind Within her womb, which, for enlargement striving, Shakes the old beldam Earth and topples down Steeples and moss-grown towers. At your birth35 Our grandam Earth, having this distemp’rature, In passion shook.GLENDOWER Cousin, of many men I do not bear these crossings. Give me leave To tell you once again that at my birth40 The front of heaven was full of fiery shapes, The goats ran from the mountains, and the herds Were strangely clamorous to the frighted fields. These signs have marked me extraordinary, And all the courses of my life do show45 I am not in the roll of common men. Where is he living, clipped in with the sea That chides the banks of England, Scotland, Wales, Which calls me pupil or hath read to me? And bring him out that is but woman’s son50 Can trace me in the tedious ways of art And hold me pace in deep experiments.
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HOTSPUR I think there’s no man speaks better Welsh. I’ll to dinner.MORTIMER Peace, cousin Percy. You will make him mad.GLENDOWER 55 I can call spirits from the vasty deep.HOTSPUR Why, so can I, or so can any man, But will they come when you do call for them?GLENDOWER Why, I can teach you, cousin, to command the devil.HOTSPUR 60 And I can teach thee, coz, to shame the devil By telling truth. Tell truth and shame the devil. If thou have power to raise him, bring him hither, And I’ll be sworn I have power to shame him hence.65 O, while you live, tell truth and shame the devil!MORTIMER Come, come, no more of this unprofitable chat.GLENDOWER Three times hath Henry Bolingbroke made head Against my power; thrice from the banks of Wye And sandy-bottomed Severn have I sent him70 Bootless home and weather-beaten back.HOTSPUR Home without boots, and in foul weather too! How ’scapes he agues, in the devil’s name?GLENDOWER Come, here is the map. Shall we divide our right According to our threefold order ta’en?MORTIMER 75 The Archdeacon hath divided it Into three limits very equally:
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England, from Trent and Severn hitherto, By south and east is to my part assigned; All westward, Wales beyond the Severn shore,80 And all the fertile land within that bound To Owen Glendower; and, dear coz, to you The remnant northward lying off from Trent. And our indentures tripartite are drawn, Which being sealèd interchangeably—85 A business that this night may execute— Tomorrow, cousin Percy, you and I And my good Lord of Worcester will set forth To meet your father and the Scottish power, As is appointed us, at Shrewsbury.90 My father Glendower is not ready yet, Nor shall we need his help these fourteen days. ⌜To Glendower.⌝ Within that space you may have drawn together Your tenants, friends, and neighboring gentlemen.GLENDOWER 95 A shorter time shall send me to you, lords, And in my conduct shall your ladies come, From whom you now must steal and take no leave, For there will be a world of water shed Upon the parting of your wives and you.HOTSPUR , ⌜looking at the map⌝ 100 Methinks my moiety, north from Burton here, In quantity equals not one of yours. See how this river comes me cranking in And cuts me from the best of all my land A huge half-moon, a monstrous ⌜cantle⌝ out.105 I’ll have the current in this place dammed up, And here the smug and silver Trent shall run In a new channel, fair and evenly. It shall not wind with such a deep indent To rob me of so rich a bottom here.
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GLENDOWER 110 Not wind? It shall, it must. You see it doth.MORTIMER , ⌜to Hotspur⌝ Yea, but mark how he bears his course, and runs me up With like advantage on the other side, Gelding the opposèd continent as much115 As on the other side it takes from you.WORCESTER Yea, but a little charge will trench him here And on this north side win this cape of land, And then he runs straight and even.HOTSPUR I’ll have it so. A little charge will do it.GLENDOWER 120I’ll not have it altered.HOTSPUR Will not you?GLENDOWER No, nor you shall not.HOTSPUR Who shall say me nay?GLENDOWER Why, that will I.HOTSPUR 125 Let me not understand you, then; speak it in Welsh.GLENDOWER I can speak English, lord, as well as you, For I was trained up in the English court, Where being but young I framèd to the harp Many an English ditty lovely well130 And gave the tongue a helpful ornament— A virtue that was never seen in you.HOTSPUR Marry, and I am glad of it with all my heart. I had rather be a kitten and cry “mew” Than one of these same ⌜meter⌝ balladmongers.135 I had rather hear a brazen can’stick turned, Or a dry wheel grate on the axletree, And that would set my teeth nothing an edge, Nothing so much as mincing poetry. ’Tis like the forced gait of a shuffling nag.
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GLENDOWER 140Come, you shall have Trent turned.HOTSPUR I do not care. I’ll give thrice so much land To any well-deserving friend; But in the way of bargain, mark you me, I’ll cavil on the ninth part of a hair.145 Are the indentures drawn? Shall we be gone?GLENDOWER The moon shines fair. You may away by night. I’ll haste the writer, and withal Break with your wives of your departure hence. I am afraid my daughter will run mad,150 So much she doteth on her Mortimer. He exits.MORTIMER Fie, cousin Percy, how you cross my father!HOTSPUR I cannot choose. Sometime he angers me With telling me of the moldwarp and the ant, Of the dreamer Merlin and his prophecies,155 And of a dragon and a finless fish, A clip-winged griffin and a moulten raven, A couching lion and a ramping cat, And such a deal of skimble-skamble stuff As puts me from my faith. I tell you what—160 He held me last night at least nine hours In reckoning up the several devils’ names That were his lackeys. I cried “Hum,” and “Well, go to,” But marked him not a word. O, he is as tedious165 As a tired horse, a railing wife, Worse than a smoky house. I had rather live With cheese and garlic in a windmill, far, Than feed on cates and have him talk to me In any summer house in Christendom.MORTIMER 170 In faith, he is a worthy gentleman,
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Exceedingly well read and profited In strange concealments, valiant as a lion, And wondrous affable, and as bountiful As mines of India. Shall I tell you, cousin?175 He holds your temper in a high respect And curbs himself even of his natural scope When you come cross his humor. Faith, he does. I warrant you that man is not alive Might so have tempted him as you have done180 Without the taste of danger and reproof. But do not use it oft, let me entreat you.WORCESTER , ⌜to Hotspur⌝ In faith, my lord, you are too willful-blame, And, since your coming hither, have done enough To put him quite besides his patience.185 You must needs learn, lord, to amend this fault. Though sometimes it show greatness, courage, blood— And that’s the dearest grace it renders you— Yet oftentimes it doth present harsh rage,190 Defect of manners, want of government, Pride, haughtiness, opinion, and disdain, The least of which, haunting a nobleman, Loseth men’s hearts and leaves behind a stain Upon the beauty of all parts besides,195 Beguiling them of commendation.HOTSPUR Well, I am schooled. Good manners be your speed! Here come our wives, and let us take our leave. Enter Glendower with the Ladies.MORTIMER This is the deadly spite that angers me: My wife can speak no English, I no Welsh.GLENDOWER 200 My daughter weeps; she’ll not part with you. She’ll be a soldier too, she’ll to the wars.
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MORTIMER Good father, tell her that she and my aunt Percy Shall follow in your conduct speedily. Glendower speaks to her in Welsh,
and she answers him in the same.GLENDOWER She is desperate here, a peevish self-willed harlotry,205 One that no persuasion can do good upon. The Lady speaks in Welsh.MORTIMER I understand thy looks. That pretty Welsh Which thou pourest down from these swelling heavens I am too perfect in, and but for shame210 In such a parley should I answer thee. The Lady ⌜speaks⌝ again in Welsh. ⌜They kiss.⌝ I understand thy kisses, and thou mine, And that’s a feeling disputation; But I will never be a truant, love, Till I have learned thy language; for thy tongue215 Makes Welsh as sweet as ditties highly penned, Sung by a fair queen in a summer’s bower, With ravishing division, to her lute.GLENDOWER Nay, if you melt, then will she run mad. The Lady speaks again in Welsh.MORTIMER O, I am ignorance itself in this!GLENDOWER 220 She bids you on the wanton rushes lay you down And rest your gentle head upon her lap, And she will sing the song that pleaseth you, And on your eyelids crown the god of sleep, Charming your blood with pleasing heaviness,225 Making such difference ’twixt wake and sleep As is the difference betwixt day and night
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The hour before the heavenly harnessed team Begins his golden progress in the east.MORTIMER With all my heart I’ll sit and hear her sing.230 By that time will our book, I think, be drawn.GLENDOWER Do so, and those musicians that shall play to you Hang in the air a thousand leagues from hence, And straight they shall be here. Sit and attend.HOTSPUR Come, Kate, thou art perfect in lying down.235 Come, quick, quick, that I may lay my head in thy lap.LADY PERCY Go, you giddy goose. The music plays.HOTSPUR Now I perceive the devil understands Welsh, And ’tis no marvel he is so humorous.240 By ’r Lady, he is a good musician.LADY PERCY Then should you be nothing but musical, for you are altogether governed by humors. Lie still, you thief, and hear the lady sing in Welsh.HOTSPUR I had rather hear Lady, my brach, howl in245 Irish.LADY PERCY Wouldst thou have thy head broken?HOTSPUR No.LADY PERCY Then be still.HOTSPUR Neither; ’tis a woman’s fault.LADY PERCY 250Now God help thee!HOTSPUR To the Welsh lady’s bed.LADY PERCY What’s that?HOTSPUR Peace, she sings. Here the Lady sings a Welsh song.HOTSPUR Come, Kate, I’ll have your song too.LADY PERCY 255Not mine, in good sooth.HOTSPUR Not yours, in good sooth! Heart, you swear
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like a comfit-maker’s wife! “Not you, in good sooth,” and “as true as I live,” and “as God shall mend me,” and “as sure as day”—260 And givest such sarcenet surety for thy oaths As if thou never walk’st further than Finsbury. Swear me, Kate, like a lady as thou art, A good mouth-filling oath, and leave “in sooth,” And such protest of pepper-gingerbread265 To velvet-guards and Sunday citizens. Come, sing.LADY PERCY I will not sing.HOTSPUR ’Tis the next way to turn tailor, or be redbreast teacher. An the indentures be drawn, I’ll270 away within these two hours, and so come in when you will. He exits.GLENDOWER Come, come, Lord Mortimer, you are as slow As hot Lord Percy is on fire to go. By this our book is drawn. We’ll but seal,275 And then to horse immediately.MORTIMER With all my heart. They exit.
Henry IV, Part 1: 
