Enter ⌜Gravedigger and Another.⌝⌜GRAVEDIGGER⌝ Is she to be buried in Christian burial, when she willfully seeks her own salvation?OTHER I tell thee she is. Therefore make her grave straight. The crowner hath sat on her and finds it5 Christian burial.⌜GRAVEDIGGER⌝ How can that be, unless she drowned herself in her own defense?OTHER Why, ’tis found so.⌜GRAVEDIGGER⌝ It must be ⟨se offendendo;⟩ it cannot be10 else. For here lies the point: if I drown myself wittingly, it argues an act, and an act hath three branches—it is to act, to do, to perform. ⟨Argal,⟩ she drowned herself wittingly.OTHER Nay, but hear you, goodman delver—⌜GRAVEDIGGER⌝ 15Give me leave. Here lies the water; good. Here stands the man; good. If the man go to this water and drown himself, it is (will he, nill he) he goes; mark you that. But if the water come to him and drown him, he drowns not himself. Argal, he20 that is not guilty of his own death shortens not his own life.OTHER But is this law?⌜GRAVEDIGGER⌝ Ay, marry, is ’t—crowner’s ’quest law.
OTHER Will you ha’ the truth on ’t? If this had not been25 a gentlewoman, she should have been buried out o’ Christian burial.⌜GRAVEDIGGER⌝ Why, there thou sayst. And the more pity that great folk should have count’nance in this world to drown or hang themselves more than30 their even-Christian. Come, my spade. There is no ancient gentlemen but gard’ners, ditchers, and grave-makers. They hold up Adam’s profession.OTHER Was he a gentleman?⌜GRAVEDIGGER⌝ He was the first that ever bore arms.⟨OTHER 35Why, he had none.⌜GRAVEDIGGER⌝ What, art a heathen? How dost thou understand the scripture? The scripture says Adam digged. Could he dig without arms?⟩ I’ll put another question to thee. If thou answerest me not to the40 purpose, confess thyself—OTHER Go to!⌜GRAVEDIGGER⌝ What is he that builds stronger than either the mason, the shipwright, or the carpenter?OTHER The gallows-maker; for that ⟨frame⟩ outlives a45 thousand tenants.⌜GRAVEDIGGER⌝ I like thy wit well, in good faith. The gallows does well. But how does it well? It does well to those that do ill. Now, thou dost ill to say the gallows is built stronger than the church. Argal, the50 gallows may do well to thee. To ’t again, come.OTHER “Who builds stronger than a mason, a shipwright, or a carpenter?”⌜GRAVEDIGGER⌝ Ay, tell me that, and unyoke.OTHER Marry, now I can tell.⌜GRAVEDIGGER⌝ 55To ’t.OTHER Mass, I cannot tell.⟨Enter Hamlet and Horatio afar off.⟩⌜GRAVEDIGGER⌝ Cudgel thy brains no more about it,
for your dull ass will not mend his pace with beating. And, when you are asked this question60 next, say “a grave-maker.” The houses he makes lasts till doomsday. Go, get thee in, and fetch me a stoup of liquor.⌜The Other Man exits
and the Gravedigger digs and sings.⌝ In youth when I did love, did love,
Methought it was very sweet
65 To contract—O—the time for—a—my behove,
O, methought there—a—was nothing—a—meet.HAMLET Has this fellow no feeling of his business? He sings in grave-making.HORATIO Custom hath made it in him a property of70 easiness.HAMLET ’Tis e’en so. The hand of little employment hath the daintier sense.⌜GRAVEDIGGER⌝ ⟨sings⟩
But age with his stealing steps
Hath clawed me in his clutch,
75 And hath shipped me into the land,
As if I had never been such.⌜He digs up a skull.⌝HAMLET That skull had a tongue in it and could sing once. How the knave jowls it to the ground as if ’twere Cain’s jawbone, that did the first murder!80 This might be the pate of a politician which this ass now o’erreaches, one that would circumvent God, might it not?HORATIO It might, my lord.HAMLET Or of a courtier, which could say “Good85 morrow, sweet lord! How dost thou, sweet lord?” This might be my Lord Such-a-one that praised my Lord Such-a-one’s horse when he went to beg it, might it not?HORATIO Ay, my lord.
HAMLET 90Why, e’en so. And now my Lady Worm’s, chapless and knocked about the ⟨mazard⟩ with a sexton’s spade. Here’s fine revolution, an we had the trick to see ’t. Did these bones cost no more the breeding but to play at loggets with them? Mine95 ache to think on ’t.⌜GRAVEDIGGER⌝ ⟨sings⟩
A pickax and a spade, a spade,
For and a shrouding sheet,
O, a pit of clay for to be made
For such a guest is meet.⌜He digs up more skulls.⌝HAMLET 100There’s another. Why may not that be the skull of a lawyer? Where be his quiddities now, his quillities, his cases, his tenures, and his tricks? Why does he suffer this mad knave now to knock him about the sconce with a dirty shovel and will not tell105 him of his action of battery? Hum, this fellow might be in ’s time a great buyer of land, with his statutes, his recognizances, his fines, his double vouchers, his recoveries. ⟨Is this the fine of his fines and the recovery of his recoveries,⟩ to have his fine pate full110 of fine dirt? Will ⟨his⟩ vouchers vouch him no more of his purchases, and ⟨double ones too,⟩ than the length and breadth of a pair of indentures? The very conveyances of his lands will scarcely lie in this box, and must th’ inheritor himself have no more, ha?HORATIO 115Not a jot more, my lord.HAMLET Is not parchment made of sheepskins?HORATIO Ay, my lord, and of calves’ skins too.HAMLET They are sheep and calves which seek out assurance in that. I will speak to this fellow.—120 Whose grave’s this, sirrah?⌜GRAVEDIGGER⌝ Mine, sir.⌜Sings.⌝ ⟨O,⟩ a pit of clay for to be made
⟨For such a guest is meet.⟩
HAMLET I think it be thine indeed, for thou liest in ’t.⌜GRAVEDIGGER⌝ 125You lie out on ’t, sir, and therefore ’tis not yours. For my part, I do not lie in ’t, yet it is mine.HAMLET Thou dost lie in ’t, to be in ’t and say it is thine. ’Tis for the dead, not for the quick; therefore thou130 liest.⌜GRAVEDIGGER⌝ ’Tis a quick lie, sir; ’twill away again from me to you.HAMLET What man dost thou dig it for?⌜GRAVEDIGGER⌝ For no man, sir.HAMLET 135What woman then?⌜GRAVEDIGGER⌝ For none, neither.HAMLET Who is to be buried in ’t?⌜GRAVEDIGGER⌝ One that was a woman, sir, but, rest her soul, she’s dead.HAMLET 140How absolute the knave is! We must speak by the card, or equivocation will undo us. By the Lord, Horatio, this three years I have took note of it: the age is grown so picked that the toe of the peasant comes so near the heel of the courtier, he145 galls his kibe.—How long hast thou been grave-maker?⌜GRAVEDIGGER⌝ Of ⟨all⟩ the days i’ th’ year, I came to ’t that day that our last King Hamlet overcame Fortinbras.HAMLET 150How long is that since?⌜GRAVEDIGGER⌝ Cannot you tell that? Every fool can tell that. It was that very day that young Hamlet was born—he that is mad, and sent into England.HAMLET Ay, marry, why was he sent into England?⌜GRAVEDIGGER⌝ 155Why, because he was mad. He shall recover his wits there. Or if he do not, ’tis no great matter there.HAMLET Why?⌜GRAVEDIGGER⌝ ’Twill not be seen in him there. There160 the men are as mad as he.
HAMLET How came he mad?⌜GRAVEDIGGER⌝ Very strangely, they say.HAMLET How “strangely”?⌜GRAVEDIGGER⌝ Faith, e’en with losing his wits.HAMLET 165Upon what ground?⌜GRAVEDIGGER⌝ Why, here in Denmark. I have been sexton here, man and boy, thirty years.HAMLET How long will a man lie i’ th’ earth ere he rot?⌜GRAVEDIGGER⌝ Faith, if he be not rotten before he die170 (as we have many pocky corses ⟨nowadays⟩ that will scarce hold the laying in), he will last you some eight year or nine year. A tanner will last you nine year.HAMLET Why he more than another?⌜GRAVEDIGGER⌝ 175Why, sir, his hide is so tanned with his trade that he will keep out water a great while; and your water is a sore decayer of your whoreson dead body. Here’s a skull now hath lien you i’ th’ earth three-and-twenty years.HAMLET 180Whose was it?⌜GRAVEDIGGER⌝ A whoreson mad fellow’s it was. Whose do you think it was?HAMLET Nay, I know not.⌜GRAVEDIGGER⌝ A pestilence on him for a mad rogue!185 He poured a flagon of Rhenish on my head once. This same skull, sir, was, sir, Yorick’s skull, the King’s jester.HAMLET This?⌜GRAVEDIGGER⌝ E’en that.HAMLET, ⌜taking the skull⌝ 190⟨Let me see.⟩ Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him, Horatio—a fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy. He hath bore me on his back a thousand times, and now how abhorred in my imagination it is! My gorge rises at it. Here hung195 those lips that I have kissed I know not how oft. Where be your gibes now? your gambols? your
songs? your flashes of merriment that were wont to set the table on a roar? Not one now to mock your own grinning? Quite chapfallen? Now get you to my200 lady’s ⟨chamber,⟩ and tell her, let her paint an inch thick, to this favor she must come. Make her laugh at that.—Prithee, Horatio, tell me one thing.HORATIO What’s that, my lord?HAMLET Dost thou think Alexander looked o’ this205 fashion i’ th’ earth?HORATIO E’en so.HAMLET And smelt so? Pah!⌜He puts the skull down.⌝HORATIO E’en so, my lord.HAMLET To what base uses we may return, Horatio!210 Why may not imagination trace the noble dust of Alexander till he find it stopping a bunghole?HORATIO ’Twere to consider too curiously to consider so.HAMLET No, faith, not a jot; but to follow him thither,215 with modesty enough and likelihood to lead it, ⟨as thus:⟩ Alexander died, Alexander was buried, Alexander returneth to dust; the dust is earth; of earth we make loam; and why of that loam whereto he was converted might they not stop a beer barrel?220 Imperious Caesar, dead and turned to clay, Might stop a hole to keep the wind away. O, that that earth which kept the world in awe Should patch a wall t’ expel the ⟨winter’s⟩ flaw!Enter King, Queen, Laertes, ⟨Lords attendant,⟩ and the
corpse ⌜of Ophelia, with a Doctor of Divinity.⌝ But soft, but soft awhile! Here comes the King,225 The Queen, the courtiers. Who is this they follow? And with such maimèd rites? This doth betoken The corse they follow did with desp’rate hand Fordo its own life. ’Twas of some estate. Couch we awhile and mark.⌜They step aside.⌝
LAERTES 230What ceremony else?HAMLET That is Laertes, a very noble youth. Mark.LAERTES What ceremony else?DOCTOR Her obsequies have been as far enlarged As we have warranty. Her death was doubtful,235 And, but that great command o’ersways the order, She should in ground unsanctified been lodged Till the last trumpet. For charitable prayers ⟨Shards,⟩ flints, and pebbles should be thrown on her.240 Yet here she is allowed her virgin crants, Her maiden strewments, and the bringing home Of bell and burial.LAERTES Must there no more be done?DOCTOR No more be done.245 We should profane the service of the dead To sing a requiem and such rest to her As to peace-parted souls.LAERTES Lay her i’ th’ earth, And from her fair and unpolluted flesh250 May violets spring! I tell thee, churlish priest, A minist’ring angel shall my sister be When thou liest howling.HAMLET, ⌜to Horatio⌝ What, the fair Ophelia?QUEEN Sweets to the sweet, farewell!⌜She scatters flowers.⌝255 I hoped thou shouldst have been my Hamlet’s wife; I thought thy bride-bed to have decked, sweet maid, And not have strewed thy grave.LAERTES O, treble woe Fall ten times ⟨treble⟩ on that cursèd head260 Whose wicked deed thy most ingenious sense Deprived thee of!—Hold off the earth awhile, Till I have caught her once more in mine arms.⟨Leaps in the grave.⟩
Now pile your dust upon the quick and dead, Till of this flat a mountain you have made265 T’ o’ertop old Pelion or the skyish head Of blue Olympus.HAMLET, ⌜advancing⌝ What is he whose grief Bears such an emphasis, whose phrase of sorrow Conjures the wand’ring stars and makes them stand270 Like wonder-wounded hearers? This is I, Hamlet the Dane.LAERTES, ⌜coming out of the grave⌝ The devil take thy soul!HAMLET Thou pray’st not well.⌜They grapple.⌝ I prithee take thy fingers from my throat,275 For though I am not splenitive ⟨and⟩ rash, Yet have I in me something dangerous, Which let thy wisdom fear. Hold off thy hand.KING Pluck them asunder.QUEEN Hamlet! Hamlet!ALL 280Gentlemen!HORATIO Good my lord, be quiet.⌜Hamlet and Laertes are separated.⌝HAMLET Why, I will fight with him upon this theme Until my eyelids will no longer wag!QUEEN O my son, what theme?HAMLET 285 I loved Ophelia. Forty thousand brothers Could not with all their quantity of love Make up my sum. What wilt thou do for her?KING O, he is mad, Laertes!QUEEN For love of God, forbear him.HAMLET 290’Swounds, show me what thou ’t do. Woo’t weep, woo’t fight, woo’t fast, woo’t tear thyself, Woo’t drink up eisel, eat a crocodile?
I’ll do ’t. Dost ⟨thou⟩ come here to whine?295 To outface me with leaping in her grave? Be buried quick with her, and so will I. And if thou prate of mountains, let them throw Millions of acres on us, till our ground, Singeing his pate against the burning zone,300 Make Ossa like a wart. Nay, an thou ’lt mouth, I’ll rant as well as thou.QUEEN This is mere madness; And ⟨thus⟩ awhile the fit will work on him. Anon, as patient as the female dove305 When that her golden couplets are disclosed, His silence will sit drooping.HAMLET Hear you, sir, What is the reason that you use me thus? I loved you ever. But it is no matter.310 Let Hercules himself do what he may, The cat will mew, and dog will have his day.Hamlet exits.KING I pray thee, good Horatio, wait upon him.Horatio exits. ⌜To Laertes.⌝ Strengthen your patience in our last night’s speech.315 We’ll put the matter to the present push.— Good Gertrude, set some watch over your son.— This grave shall have a living monument. An hour of quiet thereby shall we see. Till then in patience our proceeding be.They exit.
Hamlet: 
