Enter ⌜Bertram⌝ Count Rossillion and the French
⌜Lords,⌝ as at first.FIRST LORD Nay, good my lord, put him to ’t. Let him have his way.SECOND LORD If your Lordship find him not a hilding, hold me no more in your respect.FIRST LORD 5On my life, my lord, a bubble.BERTRAM Do you think I am so far deceived in him?FIRST LORD Believe it, my lord. In mine own direct knowledge, without any malice, but to speak of him as my kinsman, he’s a most notable coward,10 an infinite and endless liar, an hourly promise-breaker, the owner of no one good quality worthy your Lordship’s entertainment.SECOND LORD It were fit you knew him, lest, reposing too far in his virtue, which he hath not, he might15 at some great and trusty business in a main danger fail you.BERTRAM I would I knew in what particular action to try him.SECOND LORD None better than to let him fetch off his20 drum, which you hear him so confidently undertake to do.FIRST LORD I, with a troop of Florentines, will suddenly surprise him. Such I will have whom I am sure he knows not from the enemy. We will bind and25 hoodwink him so, that he shall suppose no other
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but that he is carried into the leaguer of the adversary’s when we bring him to our own tents. Be but your Lordship present at his examination. If he do not for the promise of his life, and in the highest30 compulsion of base fear, offer to betray you and deliver all the intelligence in his power against you, and that with the divine forfeit of his soul upon oath, never trust my judgment in anything.SECOND LORD O, for the love of laughter, let him fetch35 his drum. He says he has a stratagem for ’t. When your Lordship sees the bottom of ⌜his⌝ success in ’t, and to what metal this counterfeit lump of ⌜ore⌝ will be melted, if you give him not John Drum’s entertainment, your inclining cannot be removed.40 Here he comes.Enter Parolles.FIRST LORD, ⌜aside to Bertram⌝ O, for the love of laughter, hinder not the honor of his design. Let him fetch off his drum in any hand.BERTRAM, ⌜to Parolles⌝ How now, monsieur? This45 drum sticks sorely in your disposition.SECOND LORD A pox on ’t! Let it go. ’Tis but a drum.PAROLLES But a drum! Is ’t but a drum? A drum so lost! There was excellent command, to charge in with our horse upon our own wings and to rend50 our own soldiers!SECOND LORD That was not to be blamed in the command of the service. It was a disaster of war that Caesar himself could not have prevented if he had been there to command.BERTRAM 55Well, we cannot greatly condemn our success. Some dishonor we had in the loss of that drum, but it is not to be recovered.PAROLLES It might have been recovered.BERTRAM It might, but it is not now.
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PAROLLES 60It is to be recovered. But that the merit of service is seldom attributed to the true and exact performer, I would have that drum or another, or hic jacet.BERTRAM Why, if you have a stomach, to ’t, monsieur!65 If you think your mystery in stratagem can bring this instrument of honor again into his native quarter, be magnanimous in the enterprise and go on. I will grace the attempt for a worthy exploit. If you speed well in it, the Duke shall both speak of it70 and extend to you what further becomes his greatness, even to the utmost syllable of your worthiness.PAROLLES By the hand of a soldier, I will undertake it.BERTRAM But you must not now slumber in it.PAROLLES 75I’ll about it this evening, and I will presently pen down my dilemmas, encourage myself in my certainty, put myself into my mortal preparation; and by midnight look to hear further from me.BERTRAM May I be bold to acquaint his Grace you are80 gone about it?PAROLLES I know not what the success will be, my lord, but the attempt I vow.BERTRAM I know thou ’rt valiant, and to the possibility of thy soldiership will subscribe for thee. Farewell.PAROLLES 85I love not many words.He exits.FIRST LORD No more than a fish loves water. Is not this a strange fellow, my lord, that so confidently seems to undertake this business which he knows is not to be done, damns himself to do, and dares better90 be damned than to do ’t?SECOND LORD You do not know him, my lord, as we do. Certain it is that he will steal himself into a man’s favor and for a week escape a great deal of discoveries, but when you find him out, you have him95 ever after.
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BERTRAM Why, do you think he will make no deed at all of this that so seriously he does address himself unto?FIRST LORD None in the world, but return with an100 invention and clap upon you two or three probable lies. But we have almost embossed him. You shall see his fall tonight; for indeed he is not for your Lordship’s respect.SECOND LORD We’ll make you some sport with the fox105 ere we case him. He was first smoked by the old Lord Lafew. When his disguise and he is parted, tell me what a sprat you shall find him, which you shall see this very night.FIRST LORD I must go look my twigs. He shall be110 caught.BERTRAM Your brother he shall go along with me.⌜FIRST⌝ LORD As ’t please your Lordship. I’ll leave you.⌜He exits.⌝BERTRAM Now will I lead you to the house and show you The lass I spoke of.⌜SECOND⌝ LORD 115 But you say she’s honest.BERTRAM That’s all the fault. I spoke with her but once And found her wondrous cold. But I sent to her, By this same coxcomb that we have i’ th’ wind, Tokens and letters, which she did re-send.120 And this is all I have done. She’s a fair creature. Will you go see her?⌜SECOND⌝ LORD With all my heart, my lord.They exit.