Enter Count ⌜Bertram,⌝ Lafew, and Parolles.LAFEW They say miracles are past, and we have our philosophical persons to make modern and familiar things supernatural and causeless. Hence is it that we make trifles of terrors, ensconcing ourselves5 into seeming knowledge when we should submit ourselves to an unknown fear.PAROLLES Why, ’tis the rarest argument of wonder that hath shot out in our latter times.BERTRAM And so ’tis.LAFEW 10To be relinquished of the artists—PAROLLES So I say, both of Galen and Paracelsus.LAFEW Of all the learned and authentic fellows—PAROLLES Right, so I say.LAFEW That gave him out incurable—PAROLLES 15Why, there ’tis. So say I too.LAFEW Not to be helped.PAROLLES Right, as ’twere a man assured of a—LAFEW Uncertain life and sure death.PAROLLES Just. You say well. So would I have said.LAFEW 20I may truly say it is a novelty to the world.PAROLLES It is indeed. If you will have it in showing, you shall read it in what-do-you-call there.⌜He points to a paper in Lafew’s hand.⌝LAFEW ⌜reads⌝ A showing of a heavenly effect in an earthly
actor.PAROLLES 25That’s it. I would have said the very same.LAFEW Why, your dolphin is not lustier. ’Fore me, I speak in respect—PAROLLES Nay, ’tis strange, ’tis very strange; that is the brief and the tedious of it; and he’s of a most facinorous30 spirit that will not acknowledge it to be the—LAFEW Very hand of heaven.
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PAROLLES Ay, so I say.LAFEW In a most weak—PAROLLES 35And debile minister. Great power, great transcendence, which should indeed give us a further use to be made than alone the recov’ry of the King, as to be—LAFEW Generally thankful.Enter King, Helen, and Attendants.PAROLLES 40I would have said it. You say well. Here comes the King.LAFEW Lustig, as the Dutchman says. I’ll like a maid the better whilst I have a tooth in my head. Why, he’s able to lead her a coranto.PAROLLES 45Mort du vinaigre! Is not this Helen?LAFEW ’Fore God, I think so.KING Go, call before me all the lords in court.⌜An Attendant exits.⌝ Sit, my preserver, by thy patient’s side, And with this healthful hand, whose banished sense50 Thou hast repealed, a second time receive The confirmation of my promised gift, Which but attends thy naming.Enter three or four ⌜Court⌝ Lords. Fair maid, send forth thine eye. This youthful parcel Of noble bachelors stand at my bestowing,55 O’er whom both sovereign power and father’s voice I have to use. Thy frank election make. Thou hast power to choose, and they none to forsake.HELEN To each of you one fair and virtuous mistress Fall when Love please! Marry, to each but one.LAFEW, ⌜aside⌝ 60 I’d give bay Curtal and his furniture
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My mouth no more were broken than these boys’ And writ as little beard.KING Peruse them well. Not one of those but had a noble father.HELEN 65Gentlemen, Heaven hath through me restored the King to health.ALL We understand it and thank heaven for you.HELEN I am a simple maid, and therein wealthiest That I protest I simply am a maid.—70 Please it your Majesty, I have done already. The blushes in my cheeks thus whisper me: “We blush that thou shouldst choose; but, be refused, Let the white death sit on thy cheek forever;75 We’ll ne’er come there again.”KING Make choice and see. Who shuns thy love shuns all his love in me.HELEN Now, Dian, from thy altar do I fly, And to imperial Love, that god most high,80 Do my sighs stream.She addresses her to a Lord. Sir, will you hear my suit?FIRST ⌜COURT⌝ LORD And grant it.HELEN Thanks, sir. All the rest is mute.LAFEW, ⌜aside⌝ 85I had rather be in this choice than throw ambs-ace for my life.HELEN, ⌜to another Lord⌝ The honor, sir, that flames in your fair eyes Before I speak too threat’ningly replies. Love make your fortunes twenty times above90 Her that so wishes, and her humble love.SECOND ⌜COURT⌝ LORD No better, if you please.HELEN My wish receive,
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Which great Love grant, and so I take my leave.LAFEW, ⌜aside⌝ Do all they deny her? An they were sons95 of mine, I’d have them whipped, or I would send them to th’ Turk to make eunuchs of.HELEN, ⌜to another Lord⌝ Be not afraid that I your hand should take. I’ll never do you wrong, for your own sake. Blessing upon your vows, and in your bed100 Find fairer fortune if you ever wed.LAFEW, ⌜aside⌝ These boys are boys of ice; they’ll none have ⌜her.⌝ Sure they are bastards to the English; the French ne’er got ’em.HELEN, ⌜to another Lord⌝ You are too young, too happy, and too good105 To make yourself a son out of my blood.FOURTH ⌜COURT⌝ LORD Fair one, I think not so.LAFEW, ⌜aside⌝ There’s one grape yet. I am sure thy father drunk wine. But if thou be’st not an ass, I am a youth of fourteen; I have known thee already.HELEN, ⌜to Bertram⌝ 110 I dare not say I take you, but I give Me and my service ever whilst I live Into your guiding power.—This is the man.KING Why then, young Bertram, take her. She’s thy wife.BERTRAM My wife, my liege? I shall beseech your Highness115 In such a business give me leave to use The help of mine own eyes.KING Know’st thou not, Bertram, What she has done for me?BERTRAM 120 Yes, my good lord, But never hope to know why I should marry her.KING Thou know’st she has raised me from my sickly bed.
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BERTRAM But follows it, my lord, to bring me down Must answer for your raising? I know her well;125 She had her breeding at my father’s charge. A poor physician’s daughter my wife? Disdain Rather corrupt me ever!KING ’Tis only title thou disdain’st in her, the which I can build up. Strange is it that our bloods,130 Of color, weight, and heat, poured all together, Would quite confound distinction, yet stands off In differences so mighty. If she be All that is virtuous, save what thou dislik’st— “A poor physician’s daughter”—thou dislik’st135 Of virtue for the name. But do not so. From lowest place whence virtuous things proceed, The place is dignified by th’ doer’s deed. Where great additions swell ’s, and virtue none, It is a dropsied honor. Good alone140 Is good, without a name; vileness is so; The property by what ⌜it⌝ is should go, Not by the title. She is young, wise, fair; In these to nature she’s immediate heir, And these breed honor. That is honor’s scorn145 Which challenges itself as honor’s born And is not like the sire. Honors thrive When rather from our acts we them derive Than our foregoers. The mere word’s a slave Debauched on every tomb, on every grave150 A lying trophy, and as oft is dumb Where dust and damned oblivion is the tomb Of honored bones indeed. What should be said? If thou canst like this creature as a maid, I can create the rest. Virtue and she155 Is her own dower, honor and wealth from me.
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BERTRAM I cannot love her, nor will strive to do ’t.KING Thou wrong’st thyself if thou shouldst strive to choose.HELEN That you are well restored, my lord, I’m glad.160 Let the rest go.KING My honor’s at the stake, which to defeat I must produce my power.—Here, take her hand, Proud, scornful boy, unworthy this good gift, That dost in vile misprision shackle up165 My love and her desert; that canst not dream We, poising us in her defective scale, Shall weigh thee to the beam; that wilt not know It is in us to plant thine honor where We please to have it grow. Check thy contempt;170 Obey our will, which travails in thy good. Believe not thy disdain, but presently Do thine own fortunes that obedient right Which both thy duty owes and our power claims, Or I will throw thee from my care forever175 Into the staggers and the careless lapse Of youth and ignorance, both my revenge and hate Loosing upon thee in the name of justice Without all terms of pity. Speak. Thine answer.BERTRAM Pardon, my gracious lord, for I submit180 My fancy to your eyes. When I consider What great creation and what dole of honor Flies where you bid it, I find that she which late Was in my nobler thoughts most base is now The praisèd of the King, who, so ennobled,185 Is as ’twere born so.KING Take her by the hand,
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And tell her she is thine, to whom I promise A counterpoise, if not to thy estate, A balance more replete.BERTRAM 190 I take her hand.KING Good fortune and the favor of the King Smile upon this contract, whose ceremony Shall seem expedient on the now-born brief And be performed tonight. The solemn feast195 Shall more attend upon the coming space, Expecting absent friends. As thou lov’st her Thy love’s to me religious; else, does err.They exit. Parolles and Lafew stay behind,
commenting of this wedding.LAFEW Do you hear, monsieur? A word with you.PAROLLES Your pleasure, sir.LAFEW 200Your lord and master did well to make his recantation.PAROLLES “Recantation”? My “lord”? My “master”?LAFEW Ay. Is it not a language I speak?PAROLLES A most harsh one, and not to be understood205 without bloody succeeding. My “master”?LAFEW Are you companion to the Count Rossillion?PAROLLES To any count, to all counts, to what is man.LAFEW To what is count’s man. Count’s master is of another style.PAROLLES 210You are too old, sir; let it satisfy you, you are too old.LAFEW I must tell thee, sirrah, I write man, to which title age cannot bring thee.PAROLLES What I dare too well do, I dare not do.LAFEW 215I did think thee, for two ordinaries, to be a pretty wise fellow; thou didst make tolerable vent of thy travel; it might pass. Yet the scarves and the bannerets about thee did manifoldly dissuade me from believing thee a vessel of too great a burden.
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220 I have now found thee. When I lose thee again, I care not. Yet art thou good for nothing but taking up, and that thou ’rt scarce worth.PAROLLES Hadst thou not the privilege of antiquity upon thee—LAFEW 225Do not plunge thyself too far in anger lest thou hasten thy trial, which if—Lord have mercy on thee for a hen! So, my good window of lattice, fare thee well; thy casement I need not open, for I look through thee. Give me thy hand.PAROLLES 230My lord, you give me most egregious indignity.LAFEW Ay, with all my heart, and thou art worthy of it.PAROLLES I have not, my lord, deserved it.LAFEW Yes, good faith, ev’ry dram of it, and I will not235 bate thee a scruple.PAROLLES Well, I shall be wiser.LAFEW Ev’n as soon as thou canst, for thou hast to pull at a smack o’ th’ contrary. If ever thou be’st bound in thy scarf and beaten, thou ⌜shalt⌝ find240 what it is to be proud of thy bondage. I have a desire to hold my acquaintance with thee, or rather my knowledge, that I may say in the default “He is a man I know.”PAROLLES My lord, you do me most insupportable245 vexation.LAFEW I would it were hell pains for thy sake, and my poor doing eternal; for doing I am past, as I will by thee in what motion age will give me leave.He exits.PAROLLES Well, thou hast a son shall take this disgrace250 off me. Scurvy, old, filthy, scurvy lord! Well, I must be patient; there is no fettering of authority. I’ll beat him, by my life, if I can meet him with any convenience, an he were double and double a lord. I’ll have no more pity of his age than I would have255 of—I’ll beat him, an if I could but meet him again.
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Enter Lafew.LAFEW Sirrah, your lord and master’s married. There’s news for you: you have a new mistress.PAROLLES I most unfeignedly beseech your Lordship to make some reservation of your wrongs. He is260 my good lord; whom I serve above is my master.LAFEW Who? God?PAROLLES Ay, sir.LAFEW The devil it is that’s thy master. Why dost thou garter up thy arms o’ this fashion? Dost make hose265 of thy sleeves? Do other servants so? Thou wert best set thy lower part where thy nose stands. By mine honor, if I were but two hours younger, I’d beat thee. Methink’st thou art a general offense, and every man should beat thee. I think thou wast270 created for men to breathe themselves upon thee.PAROLLES This is hard and undeserved measure, my lord.LAFEW Go to, sir. You were beaten in Italy for picking a kernel out of a pomegranate. You are a vagabond,275 and no true traveler. You are more saucy with lords and honorable personages than the commission of your birth and virtue gives you heraldry. You are not worth another word; else I’d call you knave. I leave you.He exits.PAROLLES 280Good, very good! It is so, then. Good, very good. Let it be concealed awhile.Enter ⌜Bertram⌝ Count Rossillion.BERTRAM Undone, and forfeited to cares forever!PAROLLES What’s the matter, sweetheart?BERTRAM Although before the solemn priest I have sworn,285 I will not bed her.
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PAROLLES What, what, sweetheart?BERTRAM O my Parolles, they have married me! I’ll to the Tuscan wars and never bed her.PAROLLES France is a dog-hole, and it no more merits290 the tread of a man’s foot. To th’ wars!BERTRAM There’s letters from my mother. What th’ import is I know not yet.PAROLLES Ay, that would be known. To th’ wars, my boy, to th’ wars!295 He wears his honor in a box unseen That hugs his kicky-wicky here at home, Spending his manly marrow in her arms Which should sustain the bound and high curvet Of Mars’s fiery steed. To other regions!300 France is a stable, we that dwell in ’t jades. Therefore, to th’ war!BERTRAM It shall be so. I’ll send her to my house, Acquaint my mother with my hate to her And wherefore I am fled, write to the King305 That which I durst not speak. His present gift Shall furnish me to those Italian fields Where noble fellows strike. Wars is no strife To the dark house and the ⌜detested⌝ wife.PAROLLES Will this capriccio hold in thee? Art sure?BERTRAM 310 Go with me to my chamber, and advise me. I’ll send her straight away. Tomorrow I’ll to the wars, she to her single sorrow.PAROLLES Why, these balls bound; there’s noise in it. ’Tis hard. A young man married is a man that’s marred.315 Therefore away, and leave her bravely. Go. The King has done you wrong, but hush, ’tis so.⌜They⌝ exit.
All’s Well That Ends Well: 
